Keeping in mind the fact that I am demented and starve without humor infusions, I do respect all you folks’ concerns over this nasty corona thing. It’s ugly. It’s dangerous to us old farts although I hear some dude in Colorado who was 45 ate it. I’d be asking for an autopsy to see what it was that could whack a guy that young. I got it in 2001 one early summer while we were up on San Juan Island in NW Washington and it dang near whupped me. I had a ripsnorting good fever and could look up at the cathedral wooden ceiling lying in the living room and watch all the knot holes move around in between puking. It was a 12/12 pitch log cabin so it was waaaaay tall. Ibuprophen was about all that could cut down the fever. It took two weeks to shake it off.
So I commiserate with what it feels to get these things. Strep throat is another good example. Been there. Done that. So… a contributor sent me this and insists it’s humor. If you’ve been self-isolating, by now you’re reading old Time magazines from the garage dated back to 2018. Good thing you saved them. That’s future toilet paper stock, bro. I’ve got the American Rifleman going all the way back to 1980 so I’m set, too. Another Vet wrote me to share that he scored about 6 months worth of antibiotics at the fish store for a song-like $38. Apparently they sprinkle it in to aquariums to cure fin rot. Well, shoot. There you go. No MRSA flesh-eating rot on that old boy. Seriously, PetzMart™ doesn’t have the mega antibiotics we use these days. We’re talking erythromycin and ampicillin in a cyclosporin world.
Anyway, here’s the missive from my Doomsday Prepper. It’s not encouraging as it may come true. Until then, it’s just humor-well, to me it is. I’m guessing there’s someone out there who will call me rude, crude, socially unattractive and insensitive-not to mention boorish- for making fun of a national disaster. I’m sorry. Worldwide, only 8,017 have died to date. Do you folks know how many people there are on earth? 7.53 Billion with a ‘B’. 8,017 souls, while regrettable, would be a drop in an olympic swimming pool of water. This is not a “pandemic”. The Plague, caused by rats in the Middle ages was a pandemic. It killed millions just in England alone and persisted for years. Folks abandoned cities and moved out to the ‘burbs and bought 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ramblers. That’s probably how they fixed it. To this day they always build houses about 10 feet apart so you can self-isolate…you know…like when this happens. I’m guessing Doordash® is making a fortune.
But back to our erstwhile Prepper all self-sequestered. Imagine…
CORONA VIRUS–DAY 16
If anyone is still out there, I’m still alive but struggling. Food is running low. I’m down to only 459 days left. I continually sanitize my hands every hour. My butt is clean thanks to a lifetime supply of Charmin™ pastel bear-tested, papier toilette. It’s not new. I suffer OCD.
I’m down to 1599 rounds of 5.56. I dropped one down the heating vent this morning while I was scoping the front yard from the bedroom window. I count them every day to make sure. The power, water and cable are still on but for how long? I don’t think I own a radio. But that’s okay. I’m on Facebook but I don’t really know anybody except for my mom. That’s funny. I haven’t heard from her in a week. Everybody’s wary of getting viruses so nobody will friend me.
I’m missing human interaction but I have my dogs. Just for now, I’m planning ahead. I’m soaking their food in Sally’s Cajun BBQ sauce to sort of marinate them from the inside out in case I have to eat them. It kind of gave them the shits, too. I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad on CNN. Turns out it was America’s fault after all.
Nearby neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their deaths. Well, not exactly. We all live in ramblers on my street so most just end up with really bad bruises on their faces and arms.
The worst news is I’ve blown through all the Netflics© series even worth watching so I’m triaging them now to decide which ones I’m going to watch again.
Basic survival is a definite challenge. I plan to persevere to the bitter end. I’m thinking about subscribing to the Pet Channel® and watching the series about teaching your dog Spanish. I’m guessing that’ll sure eat up a few weeks.
Sequester we shall. Yesssssssssssssssssssss. Live long we will. Mmmmm.