Ne Habla Espanol.

Keeping in mind the fact that I am demented and starve without humor infusions, I do respect all you folks’ concerns over this nasty corona thing. It’s ugly. It’s dangerous to us old farts although I hear some dude in Colorado who was 45 ate it. I’d be asking for an autopsy to see what it was that could whack a guy that young. I got it in 2001 one early summer while we were up on San Juan Island in NW Washington and it dang near whupped me. I had a ripsnorting good fever and could look up at the cathedral wooden ceiling lying in the living room  and watch all the knot holes move around in between puking. It was a 12/12 pitch log cabin so it was waaaaay tall. Ibuprophen was about all that could cut down the fever. It took two weeks to shake it off. 

So I commiserate with what it feels to get these things. Strep throat is another good example. Been there. Done that. So… a contributor sent me this and insists it’s humor. If you’ve been self-isolating, by now you’re reading old Time magazines from the garage dated back to 2018. Good thing you saved them. That’s future toilet paper stock, bro. I’ve got the American Rifleman going all the way back to 1980 so I’m set, too. Another Vet wrote me to share that he scored about 6 months worth of antibiotics at the fish store for a song-like $38. Apparently they sprinkle it in to aquariums to cure fin rot. Well, shoot. There you go. No MRSA flesh-eating rot on that old boy. Seriously, PetzMart™ doesn’t have the mega antibiotics we use these days. We’re talking erythromycin and ampicillin in a cyclosporin world.

Anyway, here’s the missive from my Doomsday Prepper. It’s not encouraging as it may come true. Until then, it’s just humor-well, to me it is. I’m guessing there’s someone out there who will call me rude, crude, socially unattractive and insensitive-not to mention boorish- for making fun of a national disaster. I’m sorry. Worldwide, only 8,017 have died to date. Do you folks know how many people there are on earth? 7.53 Billion with a ‘B’. 8,017 souls, while regrettable, would be a drop in an olympic swimming pool of water. This is not a “pandemic”. The Plague, caused by rats in the Middle ages was a pandemic. It killed millions just in England alone and persisted for years. Folks abandoned cities and moved out to the ‘burbs and bought 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ramblers. That’s probably how they fixed it. To this day they always build houses about 10 feet apart so you can self-isolate…you know…like when this happens. I’m guessing Doordash® is making a fortune.

But back to our erstwhile Prepper all  self-sequestered. Imagine…



If anyone is still out there, I’m still alive but struggling. Food is running low. I’m down to only 459 days left. I continually sanitize my hands every hour. My butt is clean thanks to a lifetime supply of Charmin™  pastel bear-tested, papier toilette. It’s not new. I suffer OCD.

I’m down to 1599 rounds of 5.56. I dropped one down the heating vent this morning while I was scoping the front yard from the bedroom window. I count them every day to make sure. The power, water and cable are still on but for how long? I don’t think I own a radio. But that’s okay. I’m on Facebook but I don’t really know anybody except for my mom. That’s funny. I haven’t heard from her in a week. Everybody’s wary of getting viruses so nobody will friend me.

I’m missing human interaction but I have my dogs. Just for now, I’m planning ahead.  I’m soaking their food in Sally’s Cajun BBQ sauce to sort of marinate them from the inside out in case I have to eat them. It kind of gave them the shits, too. I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad on CNN. Turns out it was America’s fault after all.

Nearby neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their deaths. Well, not exactly. We all live in ramblers on my street so most just end up with really bad bruises on their faces and arms.  

The worst news is I’ve blown through all the Netflics© series even worth watching so I’m triaging them now to decide which ones I’m going to watch again. 

Basic survival is a definite challenge. I plan to persevere to the bitter end. I’m thinking about subscribing to the Pet Channel® and watching the series about teaching your dog Spanish. I’m guessing that’ll sure eat up a few weeks. 

Sequester we shall. Yesssssssssssssssssssss. Live long we will. Mmmmm.

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in FACE HUMOR, Humor, KP Veterans and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Is there anybody out there that THINK they had this bug last year (like I do) at this time? Yes, I know, I know, it’s supposedly a NEW bug this year! But, still…

  2. Okay, I’m ma gonna catch some Flack over this but, here it goes, I think we had this Covid-19 (corona virus) BUG last year at this time. Yes, I am well aware of people gonna say this is a NEW bug and wasn’t around last year. I beg to differ. I know about a dozen folks that had a very serious respiratory bug last year ‘AT THIS TIME’, across the country. I wasn’t tested, the doc just said I had the flu (on-line, I might add) and it lasted a little over a month! I have never been this sick in my life! The people I know that were tested, the doc just told them he didn’t know what it was. I find it hard to believe there are ‘2’ very serious bugs, like the bug we had (corona viruses). I’ve read a lot of stories about this virus…and am wondering if any one can relate to what I’m saying right now. Peace be to all and God Bless…Sincerely Ken Suvanto

  3. SPrice says:

    If needed use Tylenol, not Ibuprofen.

    I doubt Petco has malaria or HIV meds. That’s what is used to treat coronavirus.

  4. Michael P Oliver says:

    NorCal is “under lock and key”. Albeit telling Seniors here to “Shelter-in-place” is like singing to the choir; many rarely go out and “Visitors”? Not likely in many cases; so who’s checking on my neighbors; esp. the one’s like moi whose families are estranged? Fortunately, with my neurologies and Plntar Fasc.; the pleasure and exercise of riding one of my two bicycles to “essential services” which are somewhat limited to Ace Hardware, The Tractor Store, O’Riley’s Auto Parts, WalMart Super, and Big-Ass Truck and Fuel Depot; may in fact give my lungs just enough exercise to push those 5 micron Viruses over towards your direction. LOL

  5. Kiedove says:

    Corona, corona lifestyle. Was lucky to buy a 50 roll box of toilet paper from Amazon today! Smaller amounts mainly unavailable or at gouging prices. Food supply–the local grocery store is three miles away and the shelves aren’t bare–yet.
    Hubby went to his regular VA apt. yesterday only to find that it was cancelled. They were stopping vets at the door so they couldn’t go to the 2nd floor where the clinic waiting room is. In other words, shut out. Today, an email warns, call first. Telehealth? Not here. Skype with doctor? No.
    There are about 22 known cases of Convid-19 in VT. Schools are closed etc…

    Our personal supply of virus masks is about 13. An email to VA requesting a few resulted in info. that said they are in short supply there too. So back to hunt on Amazon.

    Thanks China, for allowing 5 million people to migrate all over the global visiting family for the Lunar New Year, before shutting Wuhan down. It’s the Year of the Rat alright.

  6. Calvin Winchell says:

    I attended a ti Quan do class to watch a family friends daughter and her skills. There was lots of Chinese present and we were there about an hour plus. I then traveled to Phoenix Arizona to attend dodger spring training games and man I had something attack my lungs. I layed in bed for all three days and gave my game tickets to a window washer and his father as I was incapable to attend. I felt like I could not breath and it was an aggressive virus… don’t know why I didn’t go to the local emergency room?? So I can appreciate the precautions all are taking and, it scares the shit out of me concerning The possibilities…humor didn’t help me at the time as incapable of laughter as I couldn’t get enough air to laugh! Paying close attention this time around! May health and happiness find all…and HUMOR!

    • Michael P Oliver says:

      LOL. #Seriously, ANYONE of you actually “sick” during the “Hong Kong Pandemic of 1968”? This was an H3N2; unlike most the others and a rare form of bird flu, albeit HIT like me like a ton-o-bricks dropped our your head. Truly out of action like a corpse for TEN days, high fevers; 103, 104; bones hurting, organs severely hurting, massive headaches; all with no medical intervention, no vaccine and at 22; no miracle cure.

    • I think we had this bug LAST year at this time…yes, I know how crazy some people might think I am. I am well informed about how this is a NEW bug this year (corona virus) but still…hang it there and stay strong, nothing ever stays the same. We can only hope we don’t get the same thing or anything LIKE it ever again!. Peace be to you…btw, I grew up in Tucson.

  7. jeff says:

    Love your humor, at least we will die laughing.

  8. Longfellow Rogoczy says:

    A. FYI

    On Wed, Mar 18, 2020 at 6:30 PM Asknod Veterans Claims Help wrote:

    > asknod posted: ” Keeping in mind the fact that I am demented and starve > without humor infusions, I do respect all you folks’ concerns over this > nasty corona thing. It’s ugly. It’s dangerous to us old farts although I > hear some dude in Colorado who was 45 ate it. I’d b” >

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