The Jaymeister
Man, don’t tell me our Governor here in Washington state is any slouch. Governor Jay Inslee is a former US House representative. He’s been kicking around for a few years. Rumor has it he may be born hereabouts instead of a migrant from California. Whatever you say about him pro or con, you should know he’s the first to step up and tell all of us Washingtonians that he’s got our back.
Today Governor Inslee declared he is providing free novel Corona Virus 19 testing for all Washington’s citizens starting next Monday, the 23rd of March. There are no catches. No prepays or copays. This is the real McCoy. I called his press release folks and they swear this is on the up and up. No other Governor across the country has stepped forward with such a bold proposal to protect their constituents so we should set our political differences aside. We are no longer Blue or Red. We are now Washingtonians faced with an extreme pandemic situation that demands action. I’m personally proud to be a citizen of this state now.
Here’s how you get this deal. First, you’re going to have to have a fever or a reasonable fear of having the virus before you just abuse the system. If you feel your symptoms meet the criteria of Coronavirus’ parameters, you simply have to collect and enclose a stool sample in a sealable ziploc baggy. Place in a leftover Amazon box or whatever you have and enclose a self-addressed and stamped envelope and send it to:
Gov. Jay Inslee
Capital Building Annex
P.O. Box 3022
Olympia, WA 96242
Attn: FREE COVID 19 TEST
The USPS has Priority mailing for $7.75 and even provides a free box exactly the right size. Just bring some good quality strapping tape to the Post Office with you because they do not provide it. Test results can take up to 10 working days to get your results.
P.S. Of course this joke would work equally well if you were to adapt it to the VA and Secretary Wilkie. Unfortunately, now that I work within the system, I cannot “piss in the well” any more than I already do. It seems my fame precedes me when I deal with the hierarchy of the VA. It’s far easier to grovel to get my Vet his 100% or SMC. It probably wouldn’t incite the tinfoil hat crowd as much either as you see below in comments.
asknod
brewerkelli
cspencer02
jamesaurora
kcraveiro
Laura
Veterans Claims Help 
Not good, Alex. I enjoy most of your humor but this one is over the top.
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Sorry, Charlie, This was submitted to me as humor and I published it as I am wont to do. Oddly, the gal who sent it in is an avowed “progressive”. As a lawyer, I find it odd you would suggest we suspend Article I of the Bill of Rights over a discussion of a national pandemic. But then, that’s the beauty of our Republic. We can speak freely without fear of retribution. As an aside, I might point out that among the numerous Veterans blogs out there, I am the only one who refuses to censor contributors’ comments (aside from offensive expletives). I respect your opinion as I do all Veterans’ who comment here.
A good social stir by NOD is exactly what the doctor ordered… we have all been housebound and need some humor…predictability indeed! Thanks
Ahhhh. I love predictability.
Agiter un drapeau bleu au rouge in front of the progressives and they come out in droves. Why spout political agendas here? This is all about Veterans’ rights and humor.
“[N]e c’est pas [sic]?”?
Ah, yes my typewriter misspoke. Old timer’s disease. In my haste to answer all comments-both intelligent and otherwise- I atually make mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to correct my atrocious French.
Send it to Trump instead.
Ditto!
Sophomoric.
Thanks, I needed that after being housebound for the last week. I hope your directions are followed to the letter 😉