Man, don’t tell me our Governor here in Washington state is any slouch. Governor Jay Inslee is a former US House representative. He’s been kicking around for a few years. Rumor has it he may be born hereabouts instead of a migrant from California. Whatever you say about him pro or con, you should know he’s the first to step up and tell all of us Washingtonians that he’s got our back.
Today Governor Inslee declared he is providing free novel Corona Virus 19 testing for all Washington’s citizens starting next Monday, the 23rd of March. There are no catches. No prepays or copays. This is the real McCoy. I called his press release folks and they swear this is on the up and up. No other Governor across the country has stepped forward with such a bold proposal to protect their constituents so we should set our political differences aside. We are no longer Blue or Red. We are now Washingtonians faced with an extreme pandemic situation that demands action. I’m personally proud to be a citizen of this state now.
Here’s how you get this deal. First, you’re going to have to have a fever or a reasonable fear of having the virus before you just abuse the system. If you feel your symptoms meet the criteria of Coronavirus’ parameters, you simply have to collect and enclose a stool sample in a sealable ziploc baggy. Place in a leftover Amazon box or whatever you have and enclose a self-addressed and stamped envelope and send it to:
Gov. Jay Inslee
Capital Building Annex
P.O. Box 3022
Olympia, WA 96242
Attn: FREE COVID 19 TEST
The USPS has Priority mailing for $7.75 and even provides a free box exactly the right size. Just bring some good quality strapping tape to the Post Office with you because they do not provide it. Test results can take up to 10 working days to get your results.
P.S. Of course this joke would work equally well if you were to adapt it to the VA and Secretary Wilkie. Unfortunately, now that I work within the system, I cannot “piss in the well” any more than I already do. It seems my fame precedes me when I deal with the hierarchy of the VA. It’s far easier to grovel to get my Vet his 100% or SMC. It probably wouldn’t incite the tinfoil hat crowd as much either as you see below in comments.