VA– PTSD METRICS IN NEW DSM V vs. DSM IV

CaptureLawbob Squarepants  has given me a new PTSD bible to roam through showing the new, improved Rand McNally© DSM 5 roadmap to the mind. Personally, being stark raving mad as the USAF described me, I have no interest in wandering the highways and byways of the interior facets of my mind. If they are bent, so be it. Wondering why or cataloging all the obsequious behavioral aspects solves no useful purpose. I’m 64. Too late.

Nevertheless, because such a large number of you from the Iraqistan Olympics are returning looking like GI Joe/ Jane missing a substantial amount of  those two thousand body parts you began life with, I feel it is imperative that you all examine the playbook that VA is using to measure you on the mental plane. Obviously, the VA panacea is to deny and declare them all personality disorders and offer Thorazine by the truckload. Problem solved. The miracle of medication.

Some may say I am “enabling malingerers” or teaching to the test. I disagree. I see it as an aspect of the Freedom Of Information Act. I don’t think anyone should have “secret lists” like the Spanish Inquisition whereby you are summarily declared guilty in the absence of charges. More to the point, Glasnost is the order of the day according to Call me Bob McDonald. I simply consider I’m doing Secretary Bob a favor just like he did me on my Extraordinary Writ back in January. Remember, VA likes to say we’re all steakholders (sic) in this lifeboat. I agree. Beef looks good on me.

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downloadAn open apprisal of the metrics used to determine pass/fail for PTSD should be no secret. Surely, these VA Masters of the Human Mind  have methods to segregate the fakirs and wannabe MDDs. With that sure knowledge, an open discussion should be the order of the day which is why I decided to publish it.

The upside is that it might help even one Veteran to assess himself and ask that daunting self-interrogatory- “Shoot. What if  I do have it?”  I’d rather save one and risk enabling 3 with nothing more than a personality disorder to file a contrived claim.

Theresa, the owner of Hadit.com, put it most succinctly when she said “Leave no one behind. Not on a Jungle Trail. Not on a Desert Trail. Not on a Paper Trail.™. If you’ve ever been forced to leave someone behind, I can assure you, you’ll spend the rest of your life thinking about it; wondering how you could have done it differently; where in the hell was the promised TACAir; why the BUFF was too late. It may bend your brain…. or not. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

P.S. Here’s a new article about Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) and PTSD.

OSA and PTSD FINAL 5-19-15

Posted in C&P exams, Gulf War Issues, PTSD, TBI, Tips and Tricks, VA Medical Mysteries Explained, Vietnam Disease Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Proposed amendment to the Veterans Access, Choice, and Accountability Act of 2014

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Click image to see Rep. Miller’s legislation.

This hopeful update is brought to you by frequent commenter Hepper.  

On May 22, 2015, the Senate passed an ACT to attempt to reform the restrictive way the VA and Secretary McDonald is interpreting the 40-mile rule.  

Click link to read: ‘‘Access to Community  Care for Veterans Act of 2015’’. 

The bill numbering changed from S. 207 >

S. 1463. 

As CNS news writes, “The Senate bill would open up private care to veterans who live within 40 miles of a medical facility run by the Department of Veterans Affairs, so long as the VA site does not offer the care required.”

Congress.gov is replacing Thomas.gov for legal research:  Status of S. 1463:

5/26/2015 Referred to the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, and in addition to the Committee on the Budget, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned.

GOVTRACK is another way to keep track of this amendment.

So we’ll see how long it takes Chairman Miller to hold a hearing on this amendment and get it over to the House.  Of course, none of this delay would be necessary if the VA wasn’t so recalcitrant with regard to providing appropriate and timely health care to veterans close to their homes.  If you see the hearing scheduled on C-SPAN,  let us know.

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Posted in Guest authors, VA Health Care, vA news, Veterans Choice card | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

CAVC–TO WRIT OR NOT TO WRIT

vetcourtappealspromoI’m beginning to see a groundswell of disgruntled Veterans contacting me after my prolonged Extraordinary Writ series from January through March. All contain one thread-delay, denial, misconstrual. In a word, all that VA has always been famous for coming on nigh 239 years (since 1776). I count retroactive pensions for those who fought that first War of Independence. The common sentiment is “Can I file a Writ too?”  You betcha.

That’s the short answer, of course. If you have Jesus in your heart and $50 in you wallet, you can file.

If you feel you got handed the wrong end of the punji stick, you can file.

If it’s been three years since you heard from the RO, and your VSO rep.’s phone machine still says they’ll be out of the office until January 2nd, 2014, you can file.

If you’ve written them a gazillion letters in the last two years and all you get is “We are processing you new claim received on March 2, 2015. Please be patient. We are experiencing a slight delay due to conversion to the new digital VBMS.” , you can file.

In short, I can’t think of one good reason between you and that surplus Ulysses S. Grant coupon in your pocket  as to why you cannot file. In fact, even if you were totally bereft and down to a postage stamp, you can file.

The CAVC is more civilized and has forms. I suppose that now encompasses the VA since March 25th of this year. Nevertheless, the forms may be filled out by hand and permit some individuality. I’d hold off on the Tickle me Elmo™ stickers in the upper right. We want to appear to have more decorum that those drunken bums with funny hats.

You may file for anything you want to but you will never win. My Writ was denied but its objective was more than met. Never has $50 purchased $70,000.00 in all my years of investing-all in less than fifty five days. We’re talking electronically deposited already, mind you. You will either have your Writ denied or dismissed depending on the frivolity or solemnity of the purported crime.

If you do not have a long track record of VA ignoring you for 20 years, you need prove they have been ignoring you for at least two years and some change. That seems to be the point where the CAVC judge finally asks VA what kind of shenanigans they are pulling. Since it takes the VA 30 days to find anything, it lengthens this process. Otherwise they could do this in a week like GE or John Deere. If the matter is minor, sometimes only two weeks is allotted. The OGC then has some hotfootin’ to do. They usually show back up at 625 Native American Ave. NW and ask for more time about an hour before it’s due.

In addition to the two years plus, you need something to show the man that you are awaiting something that should only take a week in VA time. You are going to lose but you are going to prod the VA into doing something-be it issue a SOC  so you can pass go, file the VA 9 and move on or to certify a claim with a VA 8 and set it free for DC. That isn’t what it used to be now that VAROs are punting everything to BVA. Often a VA 8 only ensures it moves from one pile to another at the VARO and sits in the new location for two years.

A Writ is a cry in the night-usually by someone who is overwhelmed (or underwhelmed) with the interminable delay they encounter at this game. Yes. A game. Face it, if you have to learn the rules and hop through imaginary hoops to attain that which is rightfully owed, it’s no longer an orderly process that anyone can avail themselves of. It devolves not into entitlement but how to push the right button; how to assemble a dossier properly or a well-written resumé professionally accomplished. This is one reason law dogs look at these askance. Aside from the fact that VA rarely pays any EAJA fees on them, they are for CLE hours on the clock-pure pro bono work and nothing more. But, there’s always a but, if you get to rep. one of these folks, you get to hear some interesting stories.

VA attorneys dislike filing these because they make the rainmaker look like a right tackle on the legal football field. Big and mean and small-minded. Tying up valuable judicial time with frivolous filings is frowned on, and remembered, at the CAVC. If you show up driving a Writ, it better be a classy ride like mine was.

A  pro se Writ might not have a legal shred of evidence to support it and it will still elicit an investigation for the delay. In that, it is one hell of a tool in the Veterans’ toolbox. For fifty samoles, you can get the ultimate eBenefits update while you’re sitting on the VARO freeway after exit 3. Yeppers.  In forty five days, you will find that you’re now at exit 4 and traffic is once again moving smartly along at 10 mph. Expected decision time  at 810 Vermin Ave. NW 20420 is approximately two years and three months dead ahead unless, of course, you get a kicker advancement on the docket under 38 CFR § 20.900(c). Then it’s two months. Dream on. I got one but hey, I’ve been sitting on the Group W bench since March 1994.

A Writ is the absolute quickest panacea for those “Why haven’t they called?” moments. When the better half is having a hard time feeding the kids on WIC tickets, EBT, and the stipend from the state, you can show you’re proactive and file a Writ. She and you will both have an answer in short order. Occasionally, claims do fall through the cracks. Mine did from January 1995 until I “poked” them in 2007 with stage 4 cirrhosis. That’s a great way to get their attention, by the way.

A Writ cannot be a vehicle to get around the normal legal path to completion. With that said, nearly every one is just that. If it isn’t a shortcut, it is a forceful reminder that something is amiss and ignoring it will not resolve it or make it  go away. It is a plea to put the claim back on the tracks and let it proceed from oblivion, or wherever they are hiding it, to completion. In that regard, you are not cheating or cutting line. It’s more along the lines of a query as to what the holdup is. 8 out of 10 of these will result in a SOC or a SSOC in order to appease the Court and show them that VA is “on it”. In reality, it’s a mere “Denied again” with a brief, peremptory top-sheeting to  get your name spelled right. Sometimes they even get that wrong. My VR&E SOC said “Mr. Gordon continues to insist that the ILP program permits avocational applications.”

download (1)A Writ can be written by you replete with incomplete sentences and dangling participles and I guarantee you will not be at the Court more than six days before the largest hailstorm of legal flyers from across the fruited plane are going to descend on you. That’s our National Organization of Veterans Advocates (or NOVA) working for free for you. Real, live lawyers with brand name Juris Doctorates showing they have more than a GED and DAV in their heart. I think they should make Vets put their email address on the Writ so the NOVA folks can get to the high ground and say no old-growth trees were harmed in the production of trying to rep. the Vet. Shoo doggies. I could have been a politician. Listen to me.

A Writ can be brief and to the point or it can run to 125 pages like mine with evidence. The actual document is legally constrained to be 20 pages or less about the actual crime, but that’s a lot of complaining. I did 21 years worth of travesties in 17 pages to give you an idea.

A Writ can be a true legal work of art or it can be a coarse canvas with stick figures (figuratively speaking, of course). You can bring what you want to it. The important thing is to file it. Another beauty of a Writ is you are allowed to introduce the evidence of your choosing. There is no statute or regulation restricting what is submitted. It simply has to be on paper. No body parts or other organic substances are permitted which rules out trying to bribe the CAVC Judge with Krispy Kremes™.

And that, gentle reader, is why I called you here. Member Howard, (not the famous Howard of Our Lord’s Prayer Howard) who is attempting this project, has asked for some parameters as well as particulars. One thing he advocates, and I can break bread with him on this, would be for every Veteran- every man jack- who has been interminably delayed beyond the 2 1/2 year talisman to file a Writ. Since most are indigent, nearly so,  or meet the rigorous CAVC $2 million dollars or less test, this would only pose the cost of a 48¢ stamp currently. Paper is cheap. You could even download and print the CAVC application at the library assuming you had a mobile, changing zip code with the seasons or your own whims demand you lead a spartan, outdoor existence eschewing normal living abodes. Boy howdy, talk about a backlog. Veterans filed about 4,000 Writs last year. Can you imagine 400,000 of you monkeys showing up pro se and exercising your right to a Writ?  Just don’t say I sent you, okay? Blame Howard. It was his idea. That’s what we did in Vietnam.

Once you launch a Writ, much like a bullet, you cannot call it back. Nor would you want to. It’s pure enjoyment and high theatre to watch the OGC lash the poor VARO slaves and dredge up these lost files and mislaid claims- the older, the more egregious, I might add. Witness how the Seattle folks suddenly discovered they had a case of the vapors last fall and accidentally denied my CUE in their poorly reasoned SOC. With nary a smidgen of new evidence, the arrival of the OGC at the front door sparked a completely different outcome without so much as me filing anything more that a silly $50 Writ. Not only that, they even upped my ratings, gave me back one, and made it retro to 1994.  And I was dealt two, count ’em, two VA 8s in that Writ poker game.I suppose, on second thought, if you got a case of the willies you could call it back. I know there are some who get a 0% rating for Tinnitus and worry that VA’s Bad Boys are going to come and take it away if you file for an increase too soon. That’s a faery tale told by VSOs at bedtime to scare Vets.

Who says you can’t buy justice? Of course, if everyone starts filing a Writ based on the presumption they got dissed or ignored, Bruce “Almighty” Kasold will probably up the entry fee to $100. J1VO.

Keep sending those cards and e-letters in, folks. I read them all.

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Posted in CAVC Knowledge, CAVC ruling, EAJA, Extraordinary Writs of Mandamus, Lawyering Up, Tips and Tricks, VA BACKLOG, Veterans Law | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

ILP Work notes

No Bozos

No Bozos

This is a temporary post for those listening to the Hadit.com Independent Living Program broadcast  this morning at 0700 Local Left Coast Time or 1000 hrs on Congressional Wasting Time (EDT).

Here are links you may find helpful:

https://asknod.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/ilp-nod-on-greenhouse/

The VARO who’s who at the top in the widgets section above

https://asknod.wordpress.com/varo-whos-who/

https://asknod.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/va-ilp-ssoc-rebuttal-like-clay-in-my-hands/

https://asknod.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/bva-dude-youre-not-getting-a-dell/

https://asknod.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/bva-193-but-no-ilp/

ILP Form 9

The call in number is 347-237-4819

Or listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/haditcom

I want to walk each of you interested through the process and open your eyes to how easy it is to crack this nut. As with all VA projects, all you need is time.

P.S. Appears we’re have the gremlin gottchas with technical difficulties. Bear with us… Looks like a wave off for Today folks. Reschedule is tentatively advanced 24 hours to Tomorrow -Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

bat-signal

Posted in Independent Living Program, Tips and Tricks, VR&E | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

MILESTONES– MSGT. JAMES HOLT-173RD AIRBORNE

martin-vietnam-transferframe1798The last bits of history from Long Vei are finally trickling in and the last of our warriors come home to their eternal rest on Marry Anna Custis Lee’s front lawn. Seems the US Govt. in their hatred of the south during the War of Northern aggression, converted Miz Custis’ family estate of Arlington House into the ANC without so much as any reparations after the war. Knowing how depressing it would be to look out at all those tombstones in your front yard anyway. I don’t hardly blame Bob and Mary for settling further south.

Master  Sergeant Johnny Holt is the latest of the 58,220 Vietnam Golden BB Powerball Lotto winners to DEROS. There will be more and we’ll be there for them too.

martin-vietnam-transferframe3002

Posted in Food for the soul, Milestones, Vietnam War history | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

HADIT.COM OPEN MIC ON VR&E’S IL PROGRAM

CaptureI love going over to talk at John Basser’s and Jerrell Cook’s Hadit.com Talk Radio show. It’s also a bit of a rude awakening to have to get up at the crack of 5 to go feed the animals and still be on top of enough coffee to make sense by the 0700(L)  start. Jerrell works on East Coast Time. Go figure. If he moved out here on the left coast he could sleep in another three hours every morning. 

Tomorrow we’re going to go over the basics of the Independent Living Program . The nuts and bolts. What controls it. Why Bill gets a tractor and why Jim gets something to pull his socks up with and a grab bar next to the crapper. This is VR&E 101 for beginners. Most VR&E employees will steadfastly deny it until you point it out. Even then they think it has to have some magic “vocational”-i.e. of or having to do with working, training or preparing to get work- connotation. This is where they lack training. If you only had one copy of the Bible and the guys up at the monastery were in charge of the production of same, you’d have no idea if a chapter was missing. If no one told you, Mr. GS 8 VR&E Intake specialist in Oz , Kansas, that there was a program for the severely disabled that entailed avocational pursuits (read hobbies), you’d be forgiven. When the guys in charge in Wichita tell you there’s no such thing, you have an agency-wide conspiracy to suppress the true scope of a valuable program.

We’re going to learn how they deny. Why they deny. Where all the money goes that ISN’T used for ILP and the scalawag salaries paid for this travesty of justice. As some know, I am appealing my denial for a greenhouse to the BVA. It could just as easily have been a riding lawnmower, a woodworking shop or a photography suite of software and a computer to assemble beautiful graphic video productions on an amateur scale. The actual pastime is immaterial. The pleasure and mental well-being derived from it is the essence of the program, always has been and is now being demolished as “too rich for our blood.”

So here’s the skinny to get in.

Call 347-237-4819 to get a front row seat @ 1000 Hrs on the east Coast and walk it back to 0700 (L) at the other shining sea.

Or listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/haditcom

Folks, this is like shooting cottonmouths with a 10 gauge and #4 from about 5 feet away. The information kicks a little because you’re not used to it. You’re gonna walk away with a whole new idea on VA entitlements but no sore shoulder.

From my Form 9

Points to ponder. I love regulations. When VA sets out the parameters of 38 CFR, they often don’t realized they, too, have to conform. It’s one thing to put the onus on us to perform. Always read the their regs wherein they mention even more regs. This is like giving a blind man sight.

1)  38 CFR 21.362(d)(2)  Responsibility for determining satisfactory conduct and cooperation. VR&E staff with case management responsibility in the veteran’s case will:

Provide assistance which may be authorized under Chapter 31, or for which arrangements may be made under other programs to enable the veteran to maintain satisfactory conduct and cooperation.

“Will” constitutes a command such as “shall”. They are interchangeable. It’s not optional.

38 CFR  § 21.362(a) :  General. The successful development and implementation of a program of rehabilitation services require the full and effective participation of the veteran in the rehabilitation process.

 

38 CFR §21.92 (b) Approval of the plan.

The terms and conditions of the plan must be approved and agreed to by the counseling psychologist, the vocational rehabilitation specialist, and the veteran.

Far too frequently, your VR&E gomer is going to hand you “the contract” and force you to sign it as an “all or nothing” proposition. When they gave me my computer, they tried this. I said “Where’s the greenhouse?”. Their short answer was “There will be no greenhouse. If you don’t sign here, we take the deal off the table.” It was only after a long, heated discussion that I elicited the fact that I could file an appeal on what they were not giving me.

38 CFR  §21.90(a): Individualized independent living plan.

(a) Purpose. The purpose of the IILP is to identify the steps through which a veteran, whose disabilities are so severe that a vocational goal is not currently reasonably feasible, can become more independent in daily living within the family and community.

38 CFR 21.160(a) Purpose. The purpose of independent living services is to assist eligible veterans whose ability to function independently in family, community, or employment is so limited by the severity of disability (service and nonservice-connected) that vocational or rehabilitation services need to be appreciably more extensive than for less disabled veterans.

Here is where you can make a killing. Special Monthly Compensation (SMC) is awarded based solely on “service connected” illness/injuries. ILP is awarded based on the total sum of your disabilities- both service connected and not. That’s letting a large camel’s nose in under the tent. VR&E folks don’t tell you that.

When I got my VR&E c-file back last week,  there was an extreme amount of ratings info. They wanted to know down to the last percentile what I was rated for and how much. Obviously they are attaching much importance to this as the qualifier for granting ILP.

As some of you know, there’s more wrong with me than there is right. I compare myself to a Weeble- as in Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down®.

downloadI’m going to teach you how to become Weeble people.

 

Posted in ASKNOD BOOK, Independent Living Program, Veterans Law, VR&E | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

May 5, 1868: Memorial Day Order

Flags in

“Flags In A U.S. Army 3d U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard) Soldier places American flags at headstones in Section 64 of Arlington National Cemetery during Flags In, May 21, 2015, in Arlington, Va. The Old Guard has held this honor and privilege of conducting Flags In since 1948.” Photo credit: U.S. Army photo by Rachel Larue

 A little history said well.. (Text source: VA website.)

MEMORIAL DAY ORDER

Headquarters Grand Army of the Republic,
Washington, D.C., May 5, 1868.

GENERAL ORDERS
No. 11

I. The 30th day of May, 1868 is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form or ceremony is prescribed, but posts and comrades will in their own way arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.

We are organized, comrades, as our regulations tell us, for the purpose, among other things, “of preserving and strengthening those kind and fraternal feelings which have bound together the soldiers, sailors and marines who united to suppress the late rebellion.” What can aid more to assure this result than by cherishing tenderly the memory of our heroic dead who made their breasts a barricade between our country and its foes? Their soldier lives were the reveille of freedom to a race in chains and their deaths the tattoo of rebellious tyranny in arms. We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. All that the consecrated wealth and taste of the nation can add to their adornment and security is but a fitting tribute to the memory of her slain defenders. Let no wanton foot tread rudely on such hallowed grounds. Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten, as a people, the cost of a free and undivided republic.

If other eyes grow dull and other hands slack, and other hearts cold in the solemn trust, ours shall keep it well as long as the light and warmth of life remains in us.

Let us, then, at the time appointed, gather around their sacred remains and garland the passionless mounds above them with choicest flowers of springtime; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved from dishonor; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledges to aid and assist those whom they have left among us as sacred charges upon the nation’s gratitude—the soldier’s and sailor’s widow and orphan.

II. It is the purpose of the commander in chief to inaugurate this observance with the hope that it will be kept up from year to year, while a survivor of the war remains to honor the memory of his departed comrades. He earnestly desires the public press to call attention to this order, and lend its friendly aid in bringing it to the notice of comrades in all parts of the country in time for simultaneous compliance therewith.

III. Department commanders will use every effort to make this order effective.

By Command of –
John A. Logan,
Commander in Chief

Rest in peace. 

Posted in Guest authors, Memorial Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

MEMORIAL DAY 3–LZ CORK AND THE CONTINUING FALLOUT

Huey Dustoff

Huey Dustoff “Blood, Sweat and Tears”. (courtesy of 498th Dustoff Co. An Son)

When I first wrote about LZ Cork and the adventures of Butch Long, I never expected to hear from anyone else who survived it. A different war, Vietnam conjoined soldiers from all over on an as-needed basis. Thus, from the deployment pools, newbies were dispatched to divisions and battalions as individual soldiers DEROSed out or were killed/wounded.

Nowadays, whole battalions train up and deploy together as a cohesive unit. You know everyone and vice versa. Many develop lifelong friendships from this enforced camaraderie of many years duration. Not so in Vietnam.

Few of us wanted to develop close friendships and invest a lot of feelings in another soul during that war simply because the potential pain of the loss was too immense. I now know from a recent telephone conversation with Bob Lockett that he developed that intense camaraderie with David Balzarini and Dennis Johnstonbaugh-the two gentlemen in the listening post who I wrote about in my prior LZ stories. Few of us did.

Imagine my surprise to get an email from Janet, the sister in law of Dennis Johnstonbaugh telling me of his intervening travails following that night in January 1969.  He didn’t fare too well with his two prostheses and opted for a wheelchair. Knowing VA prosthetics  in 1969-70, it isn’t any surprise. Dennis has three grown children, four grandchildren and one great grandkid. He had a heart attack recently but is still kicking. His hearing is a little off and I can understand that. Loud explosions a foot away tend to do that. I had a buddy dump about 15 rounds on full auto into a Malaysian Pith Viper that was on the verge of biting me on the face one day. The barrel was level with my right ear and the ring  scream of tinnitus continues to this day. Oh well.

So, in summary, we hope someday to reconnect all those who survived that attack on Cork January 18th, 1969. One at a time. It’s a fitting tribute to remember those who didn’t survive by renewing the friendships that many could not bring themselves to form during that war who survived. The list is growing slowly.

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4-deuce mortar in RVN

Ramon Ramirez was in the 4 deuce mortar pits above Lockett’s LP firing illumination that night and left us a note. I have his email if any wish to contact him.

Mike Balzarini, a cousin of David’s, contacted us shortly before he died earlier this year. He was inspired by David’s sacrifice to enlist and become a combat medic. His commitment was so strong he went on to get his green hat and do 20 years.

Bob Lockett was the first to contact me and tell of the attack with any semblance of detail. Many of the details are still sketchy but he did explain how the butterbar Lt. Barry Kellenbenz ate it. Apparently he was up in the TUOC when the VC tossed in the satchel charge. Kellenbenz was crushed when the structure collapsed and died with SP4 James Smith-probably the commo guy on duty at the time.

I have put out the call to the Dustoff Association in hopes of finding the chopper crews who came in that night to haul out the KHA/ WHA to the 312th Air EVAC at Chu Lai. Tentative identification is the 498th Dustoff  Co. Any help with that by knowledgable people would be greatly appreciated. Everyone likes to have the name of the guy who kept them alive until they got to the hospital.

Rarely do we get a glimpse of the horror of war. Even more rarely do we get to hear about what happened there in country in retrospect. I have to hand it to Bob. I still can’t discuss  it without losing my ability to talk. It seems weird to remember things so clearly and be unable to relate them to folks. Something seizes up in my vocal chords.

I guess the one thing that has come up over the years on these Veteran-type occasions is what I find the most humorous. Those who have not been in war, or the military, tend to have a disjointed view of our lives while serving. Many have asked me conversationally what we used to do on our weekends off.   I have to answer in the same vein of humor that bubbles up from that odd place in my psyche. “We used to polish our hand grenades to a high sheen because you can throw a shiny one further. It has something to do with aerodynamics.”  Or “We’d fly down to Vientiane to hit the whore houses because we weren’t allowed to fool around with the locals in Long Tieng.” That’s a byproduct of having been born on April Fool’s Day.

I eagerly await an email from Dennis and perhaps a picture. We all went through what could at best be described as a turbulent time in our lives when we were there. I do not mean to downplay or denigrate the service our troops provided in Iraqistan over the last decade but my focus will always be on my own Band of Brothers-both those who survived and those who didn’t. My  obligation can only encompass just so many so I focus solely on those of my era who come to me for help as well as their spouses.

We were soldiers… once. In some respects that will always be true until we, too, are celebrated on this momentous day set aside for us.

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Lest we forget

Posted in Food for the soul, Memorial Day, Vietnam War history | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

MEMORIAL DAY 2–GONE TO GRAVEYARDS EVERYONE

downloadOne of the stalwart antiwar groups singing meaningful songs when I marched off to war were Peter, Paul and Mary. In a more enlightened, less-sexist era, that would have given Mary top billing. Their seminal “Where have all the flowers gone” encapsulates not only an era of discord and discontent, but the dreams of many and the inexorable ache of their loss for naught- or National honor-or whatever standard you salute. 

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago

Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago

Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the husbands gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the husbands gone?
Long time ago

Where have all the husbands gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Different wars have different cachets, different scents, different geographical anomalies-indeed, different dangers. The only common thread was, and is, danger. The unspoken metric is winning. Thus, each Memorial Day weekend, I spend an inordinate amount of time in help, introspection, cameraderie and being there for my fellow members who I have touched or helped. It’s the pay it forward button that I push to take my mind off my mind.

Law Bob Squarepants referred to me once as “madder than a shithouse rat.” I wear that one with pride based on the assumption it meant I was a scrapper. I forgot about the other definition of mad- i.e. crazy. He’s never corrected the sentence so I have no reason to severe our relationship.

Winning -be it in a war or or a claim with the VA, is still a battle. It consumes your mind with what if’s and I shouldas. It takes an interminable amount of time. It takes a toll on all members of a family and often results in divorces. Of course, dying during a war really puts a fork in a marriage too.

Memorial Day is a great way to remember and a sad time of retrospective loss. All the ‘what if he hadn’t been on LRRF that day?’ doesn’t bring him back. There is no DeLorean with a 3 gigahertz flux capacitor to take us back and rescue them or change their fate.

I know that emotion all too well and the involuntary subconscious butt pucker at an old memory as most combat Veterans probably do. What made me curl up into a ball that night just before the mortar hit? Why did Howard intercede for me and not my buddies? How come the guy behind me got toasted by the Bouncing Betty and all I lost was an eye and some skin?

All those what if’s slowly die in our minds with time-thank God for that. It was like a ricocheting bullet around my noggin for a long long time after I came back. Likewise, after 42 years, the memories are far less destructive and the funnier, warmer ones bubble up. Larry getting clap on R&R in Australia of all places. Who would have thunk it? Making bottle rockets out of  c-ration can metal, the PE they used on 60 mm mortars for propellant and a piece of  the baling wire from around the wood boxes for a stick. Idle hands were the devil’s workshop in an explosives candy store. Focus on those memories if you are troubled.

Raise your flags on Monday to the top and slowly let them descend to half-mast.  What the hey? Why wait? There isn’t some stupid law yet that says you can only fly it at half mast for one day, is there? Salute those who won the Golden BB Powerball Lotto and will never live to enjoy their riches. Salute what could have been and what isn’t. But mostly, salute them as there were no braver men and women who were more committed to keeping America in her rightful first position in the pantheon of Nations as the Veterans who selflessly sacrificed their lives for our country. Just remember if you think you’re having a bad hair day on Monday, think about how confining a 2X6 box six feet under must be.

If you’re having a barbecue this weekend, I’d ask you to take a poke at Mary, Peter and Paul’s most excellent anthem of angst and pray we never forget the horror of war and its inevitable aftermath on those left here. Hey, it’s a great song if you’re my age. It doesn’t have any of those weird high notes. That’s why I printed it for you. It pretty much sings what I feel.   War is Hell. as Chesty Puller once said, but combat is something else.

Long may it wave

Lest we forget.

May Howard always walk beside you. Or Andy. Six of one and half a dozen of another.

Posted in Food for the soul, Memorial Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

MEMORIAL DAY 1–MICHIGAN VSO OVERCHARGES VETS FOR HIS SERVICES

Scott "the Loser" Losey

Scott “the Loser” Losey

We always ( I did) got the old saw from a VFW service rep. that “Hey, we’re doin’ this for free for you. We don’t get paid a dime like those shyster attorneys that scalp you for all your winnings. We’re an up and up outfit. Say, are you buying another round? Way cool. Make it a double. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. We’ll have your six all the way until we win. Hear? That’s why we’re here, dude.”

 

1398714386749When my son was in middle school in the nineties, one of the prevalent hand signs to indicate a loser or someone with low, future social potential was to hold the extended thumb and index finger into an “L”and plant it firmly on your forehead.  This visual sobriquet belongs to Mr. Scott Losey. Were I to have embarked on this endeavor, the first stop would have been the Calhoun County Courthouse to file for a name change. Losey is like being given the surname of Burglar. That might work at McDonald’s if your Christian name is Hammond but not here.

I am always amazed at human greed when I encounter it. Nothing is sacred but it does seem a lot of misanthropy crops up in the Veterans sector. For it to come from this quarter (the VSO vector) is more troubling than it appears. We would like to ascribe this to a horrible aberration but what if it is merely a harbinger or the tip of the iceberg? I have personally had contact with four different organizations over the last 26 years. None petitioned me overtly for more than a year’s membership “since I was already there anyway”. It would seem that the mere act of signing the POA was also a commitment to the cause -if not  an unwritten financial prerequisite- to obtain top drawer service. We all know most VSO reps took a page out of the VA’s manual on sloth, inaction and gross neglect and practice it religiously. Most, granted, but not all. I apologize. My New Year’s resolution was “With malice towards none”.

I was destitute when I signed with DAV so a membership was out of the question. Getting any meaningful legal help was seemingly also impossible. And so it went from denial to denial and VSO to VSO. No one told me the secret to success was right there at my fingertips and I was too dense to absorb it. A simple concept. “Hey, how about I give you 20% of my winnings if you kick ass and take names?” All these years they’ve been funnin’ us and sayin’ they were doing it for free.  That was the intro and I missed it for the obvious tagline that it was. You just had to have the secret password to get into the VA winner’s circle- “How much?”

See how simple that is? I bet that’s why  you fellers come here to learn all these tricks. Wooooooo, doggies. I’d like to see some of you go into AmVets and say “Hey, I just got the briefing on this from Alex. So how much is this gonna cost me? He says you folks prefer Home Depot or Target gift cards to keep it on the up and up. I’m cool with that. ”

Happy Memorial Day weekend. It is the most glorious time in the world to be a dead Veteran. With that said, I contribute member WGM’s photo of his back yard and an inspiring poem he sent.

A Poem for Remembrance Day

“The inquisitive mind of a child”

Why are they selling poppies, Mummy?
Selling poppies in town today.
The poppies, child, are flowers of love.
For the men who marched away.

But why have they chosen a poppy, Mummy?
Why not a beautiful rose?
Because my child, men fought and died
In the fields where the poppies grow.

But why are the poppies so red, Mummy?
Why are the poppies so red?
Red is the colour of blood, my child.
The blood that our soldiers shed.

The heart of the poppy is black, Mummy.
Why does it have to be black?
Black, my child, is the symbol of grief.
For the men who never came back.

But why, Mummy are you crying so?
Your tears are giving you pain.
My tears are my fears for you my child.
For the world is forgetting again.

Author Unknown

Lest we forget

Lest we forget

Posted in Food for the soul, Memorial Day, VSOs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments