FACEPLACE HUMOR 5 FROM THE SOUTH


I get a lot of pictures, cartoons and dynamite humor I’d love to print if it weren’t for that pesky bunch of people who think my brand of humor is “off”. Hey, folks, it isn’t my humor. You who visit this site send it to me. I merely cull it for the finest or most offensive and duly share it. I do understand we’re all supposed to operate under a new metric and remove all the Confederate flags and statues of valiant folks like General J.E.B. Stuart. I see they had to change the name of the Junior High School my sister attended in Falls Church in the fifties. Jez Louise. It took them sixty years to decide General Stuart was “offensive”? I guess I shouldn’t put a bee in anyone’s bonnet and mention President Thomas Jefferson had a shit ton of slaves and even had some kids with them. I figure that will only hasten the eventual dismantlement of the Jefferson Memorial. 

Unless no one noticed, at the end of the War of Northern Aggression, President Lincoln awarded war pensions to both the Northern and Southern soldiers (and Generals) who were disabled. Face it. Eventually some progressive jackwad is going to go back in the Bible and discover Abraham had six wives. Shit, oh dear. They’ll declare the Bible to be pornography. Where does it end? I was tarred and feathered and declared a mysoginist for even suggesting Justice Kavanaugh be accorded due process re the accusations (all discovered unfounded) of running rape rooms at summer parties.

asknod will continue to be one of the last bastions of political incorrectness and rightly be proud of it. I was born south of the Mason Dixon line and revel in it. My memories will remain flush with the romantic Confederate notions I cherish from my childhood there. If being a born Southerner automatically categorizes me as some kind of alleged White Nationalist, then fly at it. And no. I don’t own any slaves nor did any of my ancestors.

Nevertheless, only in the south will you find a womens’ beauty shop which also specializes in Taxidermy and guns. Just outside of Dothan, if it’s still there, was the proud sign we spotted in 1991 announcing their business

“Hair Styling and taxidermy”. Under it was an added sign boldly offering “Guns-Rent to Own.” Only in the South, folks. Which brings me to why I called you here today. I have amassed a new cache of humor and wish to poison your minds with it.

Only in the South

Next door to a denture clinic in Goldsboro, NC

:

Outside Branson Missouri, the birth of the Weber window mount. I’m guessing this old boy got the idea from an A&W Rootbeer stand or a drive in movie place…

The original birthplace of the Arkansas Slip ‘N Slide…

What? Retired in Jackson, Mississippi, sold the backhoe and still have your Fifth Wheel low boy?  Why not a Mobile Home port-a-deck, dude?

Get tired of freezing your reproductive organs off in winter when fishing in West Virginia? Cut up that old Ford Econoline and fit it to your Glassply. Now you’re talking. Folks will know you are cruisin’ in style.

Need to camouflage those dead tires in Savannah the old lady told you to move back before Easter? Make it a Les Schwab Christmas, dude…

TKO in the Monte Carlo and the rear end is still viable? Why not save it and make it an Orlando Chevy Kodak moment?

This sign epitomizes the mentality below the Mason Dixon line, folks.

 

 

And not to  be outdone by all that, here are the asknod Kentucky chapter contributions

And because I know I forgot to irritate someone somewhere, I’ll include something to inflame you too. I found this one relatively harmless…

Merry Christmas to you all- Black, white, yellow and all 46 sexes. I like the one in Austria where a guy filed in Court to have his age reduced on government documents from 64 down to 49. Well Hell. If you can change sexes and marry your boa constrictor, why not choose your age? You are as young as you feel, right?

 

 

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in Humor, KP Veterans, VA Agents and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to FACEPLACE HUMOR 5 FROM THE SOUTH

  1. Holly R Hardy says:

    Hilarious!!! Thank you, the purebread cat is oh so funny!

  2. cdneh says:

    There used to be a store in AR called Vilonia Gun & Drug. Seriously.

  3. Michael P. Oliver says:

    Next week on the 20th, we File our Appeal (writ?) at the CAVC/Court. I was extremely jubilant last week when I discovered that his “particular skill-set” was amply more than I had guessed or wished for and that he like asknod/ Alex: represents the veteran with introspection, legal knowledge of the system and full understanding of the rules and regs, and he will be joining me back at the BVA after remand for the trench-work which will greatly accelerate the ultimate finalization of my claim/appeal of 144 months…

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