After watching an exposé on the history of Brian William’s mouth muscles misbehaving last evening, it seems his story has evolved like Neanderthal Man into Homo Sapiens. Predictably, from the progressive side of the aisle, his fellow newsmen are showing their solidarity with new bumper stickers that boldly assert Conflation Happens.

Well, we know this and this is why I feel Mr. Williams is getting a bum rap. The poor man is up at all hours of the day and night in different time zones all year long. I’d like to see any of you maintain a coherent diary of all that mental baggage. Besides, the horror of constantly being exposed to close quarters combat is extremely deleterious to his mental health. Twenty or thirty  three-day deployments is eventually going to take it’s toll. Army Psychiatrists even know this.

Which is why I propose we honor our downtrodden hero and begin a Fan club in his honor. Fortunately we can borrow from The National Broadcasting Company and utilize NBC to conflate with Not Brian’s Chopper. Since Brian is also such a knowledgeable reporter on small arms and RPGs, he’s a natural for a real rotorhead.

Fan clubs are a way to honor our heroes and show our continued appreciation for Ars Gratia Artis. Because news is such a dry subject, Brian has simply injected more pizazz and an element of perceived personal danger that gives it more relevance. I don’t think it personally detracts from his persona. Brian is such a giant among his contemporaries, it compliments him to lie. Few can get away with this and inadvertently end up enhancing their charisma.

Brian Williams, a loyal contingent of Veterans feels your pain. Therefore we officially commission a Fan Club in your honor. Official certificates for the Founding Members can be had for a small tithe.Here’s a preview of the official Certificate of Original Founding.