I found these corny jokes online. I don’t know who created the cartoon.
A 5-year old boy mistakenly stepped into the women’s dressing room at a health club.
Women screamed and grabbed their towels.
“What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a kid before?”
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.
“What did you do that for?” the man asks.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore do you?”
The man says, “No, but my wife out in the car still does!”
Prescript. 3/14/2021– This post, still alive after all these years, was published on 11/20/2012. Comments on my site never close nor get censored. Please note that before you begin a diatribe telling us about how magnificent President Brian Foster is. I cannot speak to what it (the site) has become in the last nine years. I joined USAA in 1966 under my father’s policy and still belong. I have no idea what they (USAA) find appealing in hanging out with this TWS outfit. I have nothing against him or them. I merely reported my personal experience in 2012. You may decide from your own encounters what it is (or isn’t) now in 2021. As my grandmother used to say, “If you can’t say something nice about somebody, come on over here and sit beside me.”
Dateline- November 20th, 2012
How about Together We Sever you from $19.95 a year (or until you find the cancel button).
Just a little update on the website from one of our members. Apparently Togetherweserved has an interesting hook for new members. In order to pickpocket you for the one year $19.95 membership, they offer it free. The hook? Why, they just need your credit card to confirm your identity. In the small print it says if you do not opt out in 10 days then you agree to pay the $20.00 for a year. So free suddenly morphs into an Andrew Jackson coupon. They’ll continue to dun you yearly until you find the little “Cancel” button disguised up in the upper left corner of your site stats. It’s easy. You gave them your credit card info.
Their financial office does put up a good argument for the $20.00. They connect you with all your buddies- assuming they join too. They have several “disabled Vets” working there diligently counting your cash as it rolls in. Disabled as we know can consist of 0% for Tinnitus. So Ladies and Gentlemen Vets. Forewarned is forearmed. Don’t fall for the ploy. For 0 dollars, you can dig around on Facebook. For $39.95 you can find anyone in the United States for a year. It’s called a CBI or criminal background investigation check. They sounded like a genuine outfit but alas. There’s a P.T. Barnum born every day. Some Vets sites (I’m not naming any here personally) are even low enough to take Vets for a ride. Sure, no one can debate they provide a “service”. I’m certainly not saying they don’t. I’ll let you folks weigh in and comment on if it’s worth the dough.
For the next year, you can go on my profile page and post outrageous medals and claims! I don’t care. I have wiped mine clean.
P.S. 3/10/2019-Five years after this post, I find this blurb in a #wired post dated in 2008:
“
50,000 Vets at $20 each-just in 2008 for just Air Force Veterans. That, ladies and gentlemen, is One million dollars. I guess it takes a lot of money to put up a good website. I pay WordPress about $100 a year for asknod.org. Maybe I should require everyone to pay to absorb my incredible legal wit and knowledge. Not. I enjoy being able to sleep at night with a good conscience. There are no pay walls here nor will there ever be.
P. S. Here’s an email from one of my readership re trying to exit TWS this week (11/14/2021)…
Admin@togetherweserved.com
12:13 PM (1 hour ago)
to me
Thank you for reaching out to us. I understand you may feel that politics is being thrown in your face. I happen to be right there with you. My political PTSD meter is about pegged. This, however, is not about politics. This is about the survival of our website. If more members would see the value of TWS and support us through a paid membership, we would not have to go searching for advertisers. You see in this day and age where Facebook has made it seem like the internet should be free, (though you sell your soul and all your information to anyone by using their “free” website), TWS is struggling to keep afloat. We also have a huge number of vets that feel it should be against the law to charge for a veteran website, even though it costs millions to build these websites and hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep them running. Throw a pandemic and the average age of our members in there and you get the idea.
So, I hope you can forgive us for trashing your inbox with a note from Fox. I’ve removed Fox from your preferences so you should not receive another one. I truly wish that you would reconsider, your military history profile on TWS is your legacy to family and future generations to come. If you still wish your profile to be deleted, we will honor that request. You have to open each photo to download. There is no easy way to download them all
Thanks for reaching out. We appreciate it.
Diane Short
TWS Admin
P.S. Here’s a follow-on article for your reading pleasure:
In what was widely hailed as a foregone conclusion, Secretary of Defense Leon “the pants” Panetta announced the Army will be creating a new medal to honor those who refrain from shooting back at Afghan soldiers engaged in “blue on green” attacks. The medal will obviously be a compendium of those two colors with a yellow vertical streak and also feature an “R” device for refraining in the face of multiple murders during a single event. Bronze oak leave clusters will represent additional incidents with a silver cluster representing five. Secretary Panetta said he hopes this will become the signature award from this theatre of war.
My DH and I were delighted to see this sign in front of a Vermont grocery store during our recent travels. We made use of this special perk several times. The current military controversy in VT is over the possibility of F-35 bombers getting based in South Burlington. Many Vermonters are getting hysterical about this as even their beloved ultra-liberal politicians, such as Bernie Sanders, are turning a deaf ears to their concerns, in favor of livable-wage jobs.
It’s good to get back to ASKNOD Land. I see I have a lot of reading and commenting to catch up on.
ed. note: Our beloved Kiedove has been on a mission. Doing what , we cannot say. It’s good to have her back.
Sometimes we fail to look around us and really see those who walk by. There are many who served– some who damn near didn’t make it back. Here’s one you’d least expect. Lawdog Bob sent me this. That’s strange because he thinks Marines are just big galoots with nothing more than muscle between the ears.
Khe Sanh was no cakewalk. A good friend flew in and out several times in a dust off. He punched out from pancreatic cancer several years ago while I was in the hospital. He was never able to talk about what he went through and I don’t blame him. Having a full time- job as Charon the boatman on the River Styx would not be my first choice of MOS. Dennis is right about one thing. Indochina is like a stain you can never quite wash out of your soul-nor would you want to.
I came home in camo fatigues with a survival knife showing below the edge of my shirt. A few brave souls pointed at me or flipped me off. Nobody spit on me. Smart people with a well-developed sense of survival instinct. Welcome home, Dennis.
Ed. Note. Bob corrects me and says Dennis was in the 82nd “bird poop” Airborne. We in the Air Force concluded (rightly) that anything that purposefully falls from the sky is bird-related. Since the 82nd was Army, I am embarrassed. I thought the Marines (III MAF) had a monopoly on Khe Sanh. My friend Lars I mentioned above was Army 62B and was involved towards the end when the runway was blocked by the C-130.
Ah, the fabled pyramid of Mr. Ponzi fame. Here’s the innocuous, passive model from Paul and his charming wife. Wondering when you were going to get that big payoff from VA? Well, wonder no more, pilgrim. Take the chance out of this upcoming VA payout and pass this on. Here’s the skinny.
This year, December has 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays and 5 Mondays.
This only happens once every 824 years. The Chinese call it the Money Bag. Send this to all your friends and enemies as well.
According to the legend, you will receive money in 4 days.
According to Feng Shui, if you do not send it you willstaypoor. I in particular, will not let this opportunity pass by.
So I send it to you with my best wishes. (Just in case it is true!)
Now, let’s put this in perspective. Obviously you want to get in on this. It’s scheduled for December and we all know that means you need extra folding money. I don’t know about Feng and the gang over in China, but this is an opportunity you do not want to miss out on. My take on this is if about 300-400 of you read this (I consider this “passing it on”) then I’m in fat city. So, take it or leave it. The smart money says not to break this chain email. I don’t get too involved in money-making schemes since the Dave Del Dotto cash flow thing bit me in the ass about a decade ago. This, on the other hand, is probably genuine because it only happens every 824 years and Dave wasn’t around back then. Neither was Bernie.
Now, if you want to guarantee it works for you and beyond your wildest dreams, my suggestion is to send me $20.00 (cash only) at:
Nodster
1234 Yellow Brick Road
Oz, Kansas 60609
I will personally put in a good word for you with Mr. Shui and up your chances a thousandfold. Professor and Mrs. Shui have been next door neighbors of ours for years and we are on a first name basis. This offer is only good until the end of the month. After that, we’re all in the hunt for the bucks and may the best Vet win. Please refrain from mentioning this to Mr. Dotto. We are still not on speaking terms. Alas, Bernie is still in the hoosegow and has limited access to computers so he may not get in on this. Personally, I think you should limit this to your Veteran friends and refrain from telling everyone. It stands to reason that if it only comes around every 824 years, we aren’t going to get another swing at it. J1VO.
I have been invited to Stardust Radio tonight (1600 L [PDT]) or 1900L for those of you in the Eastern Ethanol Production Zone. Rick Townsend is the Host and Patricia Lupole , our able spokesperson and inventor of askNod will be the keynote speaker. I’ll be discussing all the new ways that our good buddies over at 810 Vermin Ave. have incorporated into their denial program. Tune in for a good listen.
I’ll be doing another show with Rick on the Independent Living Program Nov. 25th. Same Bat Time-Same Bat channel. Tune in and eat leftover turkey while you listen to me drone on about how to make the most of your new, disabled life courtesy of the VA.
Questions on all these shows? Call in LIVE and talk to us at 877-213-4329.
Where does all the VA’s money go? The VA likes to tell the public it goes “for Veterans” but does it really?
The VA loves to keep “its numbers” under wraps. I don’t think they like to answer “hard questions” such as this, but I think we should be asking them anyway. You know, like why are they spending $100 million on VA parties, when Vets needs are being unmet.
You may have to look hard for this one, unless you are an ask Nod reader, and then you just have to click this link.
One statistic compiled by the National Center for Veterans Analysis and Statistics (NCVAS)that is “interesting” is here.
In particular, notice pages 4, 5, and 6.
While the number of Veterans declined from 26 million to less than 23 million from 2000-2009, the expenditures increased from about $48 billion to about $98 Billion in the same period. (Page 4) This pretty much “blows a hole” in the VA excuse that the backlog is all Veterans fault for filing too many claims.
But, compare the charts on pages 5 and 6 with those on page 4. You will notice the “slope” of the increase for Vets compensation (p5) and health care (p6) is much less than the “slope” of the VA’s total expenditures (p4).
Specifically, in the most recent 10 year period, while total expenditures doubled, Vets compensation went from 20 billion to about 24 billion, or an increase of 20%, in the same 10 year period. In other words, the VA got an average of 10% per year increase, but increased Vets compensation a mere 2%. What happened to the rest of the money that went to the VA but did not go to Vets or their healthcare?
What does this mean? Well, it means the VA got about twice as much money in 2009 as they did in 2000, but only a very small part of that is going for either Vets compensation or Vets healthcare. More is going for VA parties, and Va executive bonuses.
Ed. note. Rock solid fact-finding here. Questions we should be asking the VSOs/congressmen/women/Senators. Those bonuses for making mistakes are really starting to add up in the “miscellaneous expenditures” column if that’s where they are hiding it.
The apparent “decline” in Veterans numbers is disingenuous. By using the Nasty Guard and reserve components who are not legitimately “Veterans” full time and active duty, the government has surreptitiously given a haircut to their benefits. They utilize the premise that anything you suffer after your service manifested during INACDUTRA (Inactive duty for training.) Bingo- uluz.com. Mo’ money means mo’ bonuses.
877-213-4329. 
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