From the humor mill in Battle Creek comes Law Bob ‘Squarepants’  Walsh’s inciteful insight. Why Bob focuses myopically on the Marine Corps and their roughshod military bearing when made the brunt of jokes escapes me but we all benefit from his humor-not to mention his vast accumulation of VA law.

Here’s his latest entry, presumably attributable to one Robert Warren from the great state of Florida.

Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to flameout during a catapult shot from his carrier, but due to the heroics of  the rescue chopper crew and the ship’s hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired, he remained on flight status and years later attained the rank of Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. 

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” The Master Chief answered, “Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn’t help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear.  I certainly hope this doesn’t impact your hearing on that side.” 

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office. 

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, “Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear.” The Admiral 86’d him as well. 

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. “Do you notice anything different about me?” 

To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, “Yes Sir. I’m virtually certain you wear contact lenses.”

The Admiral was impressed with such tact emanating from a Marine. ” You’re extremely astute, soldier. And just how did you arrive at that conclusion?” the Admiral asked. 

The Sergeant Major replied: “Well, sir, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with only one f*ckin’ ear.”

Sadly, Bob  deprived us of the eventual outcome of the Admiral’s choice for his enlisted aide d’ camp.