I have repeatedly heard the term “VA stakeholder” and finally decided to look it up. Former VA Secretary McDonald and our newest fearless leader repeat it incessantly so it must have great gravitas. Here’s the skinny from what I can tell. VA is very vague on this and, as we all know, they can confuse you with a lot of disingenuous terms like ICARE, nonadversarial, Veteran-friendly and the like. So, in order to get to the meat of this, I had to use Google® Search. 

Google had to correct my spelling of stakeholder but I think I finally got the answer. Phrasing is everything when you search on Google. It seems VA has chosen a term that is  a tad off kilter in its usage but that’s VA, huh? Anyway, when Googled properly, you find that a VA stakeholder is a tool for spearing steaks. I figure ‘stake’ is a VA misspelling like sticking that non in front of  adversaral. It appears to have a secondary VA definition as well involvied with Kumbaya -like overtones. Everyone gets that warm, fuzzy feeling like they’re all invested in part of something much Bigger.

Just to be sure, I queried Ben Krause, Chris Attig and Bob ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ Walsh for their respective take on its definition just on the off chance I was misunderstanding it. Chris chimed in first and said I was spot on because VA really has no stake’holders’ unless you consider VA personnel peeing on your leg and telling you it’s raining  being the primary definition. Ben strongly suggested Veterans buy the steaks as closely as possible to their respective Regional Offices so VA would recognize them as “new and material steaks” so as not to be confused with existing Steaks of Record. SpongeBob, of course, being wise in the ways of VA from his former job as a VA attorney, suggested I purchase said holders only from an approved VA vendor or risk having to properly refile later under 5 USC for APA stakeholder claims status. He offered to take care of it for the standard 20%.

Thus, I bring you the official VA stakeholder from what I can figure. It’s the only explanation that fits the known facts. Most Vets I know are the last ones in the chain to find anything out about their claims. Ergo, VA stakeholder is a misspelling of steakholder– of which there are plenty of examples on Google search. How this relates to VA must be on a need-to-know basis.  I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.

click to enlarge

Official VA Stake/stakeholders in 550 Nickel-extend to 36″.  Available with Black and Blue handles  and retract for easy storage in between uses.

Allow me to introduce what I believe is the latest VA claims tool. I’d love to be the West Coast distributor for these devices. Amazingly, they can be extended to their maximum length when employed (36 inches) to ensure maintaining a safe distance from VA shenanigans. The black and blue handles are the sign of authenticity  and will accessorize with your claims posture so don’t accept any with an OD-green configuration. They come in packages of six to employ at each phase of your claim (i.e. filing, NOD, VA 9, C&P exam, BVA hearing and appeal and lastly, that inevitable remand). They are identical and interchangeable for each phase. The grip is soft rubber and ensures a firm grasp of the facts under duress. VA is running a hamster wheel-special this week. Show proof of a BVA remand and they’ll give you a 10% discount. Supplies are limited so order soon.

That’s right. Be the talk of the VSO bar. Impress your service rep. with your legal skills and understanding of how this system works. It’s like having the Swiss Knife tool for all occasions-whether filing claims or barbecuing. And don’t be fooled by any cheap, knockoff pink imitations.

click to enlarge

VA Stakeholder fully extended to 36″. Works on steak too.


Contact VA for info on how you, too, can get a good deal on this exciting Amazon™ offer. Free shipping and they guarantee 125-day or less delivery¹ with a 98%  chance² you’ll get what’s coming to you.*

¹Time estimates may vary from state to state and are based on a ten-year study done in 1985.

2 Accuracy results are based on a per-million study where only 2% of Veterans complained. Your results may vary or not be the same as advertised.

*VA makes no guarantees, implies no liability and refuses to exhibit remorse or accept responsibility for screwing your life up for a decade or two.

Put this one in the  Agent B. file.

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in Humor, Veterans Law and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Data Digger says:

    Shareholders get the steak while stakeholders get the shaft!

  2. Donald Beachler says:

    On an update from my previous posts here, I had an ENT appt. on the 3rd when they cancelled me with my other appts. and went into physical medicine to reschedule those cancelled appts. I was told the appts. were cancelled when I called in March as the doctor I was to see wouldn’t be in. As I’m standing at the window, here comes Dr. Barawid that was not supposed to be in that day for my appt. Naturally I didn’t ask what was up but the VA seems to be playing games with me. I think it was for me asking them for an evaluation on the spinous process that is broken off on T1. Are they that worried about their jobs?? I did mention that I was filing an appeal the first time I saw him but if that’s their attitude I’ll start going to private doctors when I can afford them, which is the problem. The doctor I saw this week said I need to have my knee replaced but thinking I might hold off just now. Probably cut the wrong one off.

    • mark says:

      That is God telling You to stay the Hell out of the VA, You will Live Longer, Like me. I hope THEY fix the VA but I am not holding my Breath.

      • Donald Beachler says:

        I left a comment like yours on yuku about fixing the va and letting these kids in high school and below about how the va treats vets from the medical standpoint to disability and having their parents and the schools and politicians get in on this mending. I was called un-American and other things as if we don’t fix it these kids are going to be in the same situation as we are. Fell on deaf ears. Evidently the ones that have theirs don’t care about the ones that follow.

  3. Donald Beachler says:

    A stakeholder as far as I can glean is someone that has a stake, ala, a gold mine or railroad, etc. I just inquired on my stakeholder site, ebennies, about dumping my intent to file as it is over tomorrow and I didn’t want them to cancel it. I would rather do it myself. It wouldn’t let me in as to an error and to call the 800 number. The last day to go over your claim and they won’t let you in to push the send button. I wanted to cancel it. I feel like the friggin steak.
    I’m glad I didn’t get kia as I wouldn’t be such a proud stakeholder.

    • asknod says:

      We have to wonder if the failure of eBennies in this instance was a fluke or intentional. Fortunately, I’m not a conspiracy nut or I’d suspect foul play. VA is infested with low-IQ employees so the odds of nefarious intentions is little or nil.

      • Donald Beachler says:

        I would feel the same way as it not being a conspiracy if I hadn’t emailed Bob when he was the Secretary and told him I was waiting on the 800# for an hour and 25 minutes and then got a phone call from someone at the SD Varo saying that if I ever needed help again on the 800# to call his line direct if I couldn’t get through in a reasonable amount of time. Think someone’s buns were in the burner. I didn’t report it that I was pissed off for me but for someone that really really needed help. They wouldn’t connect you to the crisis line like they do now. So, I’ve had medical appts at the hospital cancelled with no new date and the local satellite office that usually calls me and orders me in for my annual physical in January hasn’t called and when I called them last month they said they couldn’t get me in and to call in mid March. Could be a coincidence. Hope so. They have some good people at the medical end of the VA. Oh, and I still can’t get into the ebennies claim again this morning. It will delete itself today and I’m sure it will be wide open tomorrow.

        • asknod says:

          Back in June of ought 12, my gastro doc said I’d get the new Hepatitis Drug “real soon-like within six months”. I’m still waiting on the call. Just in case, I went out and got it on Medicare @ 80-20% split on $. Glad I didn’t hang around.

  4. john king says:

    The VA jams that “Steakholder ” up our Azzes. I am a stakeholder in the sense I want the VA to continue to pay me every month and provide painkillers for the injuries I incurred during service. Oh, yeah, and if I “out and down” I can die on semi-clean VAMC sheets. Isn’t Trump going to make the VA a beautiful thing?

    • mark says:

      I want to be able to NOT use the VA so I can stay alive, I heard they were going to make Vets use the VA in the new Healthcare Law, and thats why it did not pass, Scary.

      • Kiedove says:

        That’s interesting. Should try to find out more about that. Under Obamacare/ACA veterans cannot be dual enrolled in VA and a marketplace plan. They don’t want a vet to get a tax subsidy for insurance.
        However, VA is an earned benefit, not health insurance as they love to repeat.
        unless a non-service connected vet earned more than say, 45K, he can’t enroll.

        I wonder if they are kicked to the curb if their income increases and if so, do they get a “Cobra” like period in order to find new coverage. A year, 18 months?

        • mark says:

          All I know is Paul Ryan had Gun Control and Vets have to use the VA, and thats why the Freedom Cacaus said No Way Hosea.

  5. MS Frank says:

    In VA’s eyes, aren’t we all essentially blood-sucking vampires?
    Would VA employ 1 to off a vampire, where it can employ 2?
    What does the 2nd guy/gal do?
    Duh … see method #2.

  6. mark says:

    Sure would like to get the 30 years of being sick back.Guess I am not a Steakholder.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.