The continuing inquiry of “How much is that Greenhouse in the Window?” is now reaching twenty days. VR&E Seattle is silent as a church mouse. Last Friday, I received not one, but two calls from VA. A Ms. Kennedy in Seattle called me to schedule my VA Nonattorney Practitioner test. It was hard to hear her as the telephone handset suddenly had condensed icicles hanging off it. I’m not kidding. The second was from Veronica in Washington DC at the VACO (Veterans Affairs Central Office) VR&E Emergency Services Desk.
I get a bang out of VA chuckleheads all running around shouting ‘I’m pro vet’ or ‘we’re nonadversarial’. Ms. Snow Queen, who appears nowhere on the VBA employee’s list in Seattle, had the frosty personality of one absolutely put out at having to talk to, let alone permit, a Veteran to choose a date and time for his Agent’s exam. The temperature around the telephone handset dropped forty degrees in a few short seconds.
Ms. K: Is this Gordon A. Graham?
Mr. A: Yes.
K: You wish to take the agent’s test?
A: Yes. Let me look at my calendar…
K: I’m sorry. Only Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are designated test days. There are two times available-10 AM and 1 PM. Which would you prefer?
A. Okay. so July 12th is a Tuesday.
A: And I have AM or PM times to choose from?
A: Okay. 10 AM then. Is that available?
A. Thank you.
K: Is there anything else I can do for you? I’ll be the Test Procter. Please arrive early to allow for a full-body strip search. I’m in Room 1326 on the thirteenth floor. My number, if you need it, is 206-867-5309, extension 1234. Goodbye.
Ms. Veronica, rather than being put out at having to deal with untermenschen Vets, was more the typical VA pointman trying to probe the way ahead for danger. It has to be difficult to feign ignorance, retain a straight face and ask lowly Johnny Vet what the hell is going on. Remember the Seattle VR&E folks who claim they had to send it back to VACO in December 2015 to be analyzed? Ms. Veronica strives to come across as one who hasn’t a clue about the five year battle and is calling me for information.
The conversation finally ended in a Joint Motion for Concurrence (JMC). She would call Seattle and get to the bottom of it. See how this works? Insert fifty George Washington coupons into the CAVC machine and it will do a search for you.
In thirty days (sometimes less) you have the answers you needed and VA suddenly begins to go through the motions of the ICARE dance . We all know it would never have occurred without the Extraordinary Writ. The gal from OGC (027) will wink and tell Judge Bartley that they have already accomplished much but Mr. Graham is very tardy in returning his calls or emails. Veronica in DC was finally able to have a colloquy with him on Friday the 24th of June after numerous attempts. Seems it’s all a minor misunderstanding and Mr. Graham has since been instructed on how to send emails and answer a phone correctly. Much ado about nothing. Move along. There’s nothing to see here.
Here’s the opening foray to get Secretary ‘Call me Bob’ McDonald and his little people to divulge what they know and when they knew it.
Stay tuned to next month’s exciting episode coming up around July 24th or so.