You know you’re in for a good read when your eye lights on this in a BVA decision. First of all, this is not the best way to file for  bent brain syndrome. It requires more finesse. I see Johnny Reb is being repped by Kenneth LaVan, Attorney at Law. The Kenster’s hair must have been standing on end every time Johnny opened his piehole and spoke.

The Veteran contends in a January 2008 statement that while in service “They sent me to the war zone.” He further asserted that “I would like to get something for PTSD[;] the VA says I have a bad case of that.”

This needs some work on the next filing. How you can “take” an LST (Landing Ship-Tank) out in the open seas to Vietnam requires a better explanation. Did he requisition it? Were they transporting tanks in it? It was a poor choice of vessel for this  amusing tale. I would have subbed in the SS Minnow or something slightly larger like a missile frigate.

In a February 2008 statement, the Veteran asserted that he was exposed to Agent Orange at the Naval Auxiliary Air Station (NAAS) in Kingsville, Texas in 1964. He further asserted that when he was serving in Okinawa, [Agent] Orange made me more aggressive, and Suicidal. I was definitely juiced up. They had off limit places for the V.C. [Viet Cong]….I broke up a big Communist demonstration. And I slapped around some general, or something….The men the was with him was trying to stab me [sic]. We also had L,S,T [tank landing ship] that we ran back, and forth to Vietnam.

One assumes the “communist demonstration” was in Vietnam rather than Okinawa. This next one rather cements the bent brain diagnosis but I vote for LSD rather than LST.

In a May 2008 letter, the Veteran wrote that his son lost all of his hair at age 12 and was hospitalized. He further asserted that “I went completely nuts when this Happen, I could take a lot of things but what happen to my son was to much [sic].” In an October 2008 letter, the Veteran alleged that he is very sure that the V.C. General whom he had slapped “was the one that interrogated McCain.”

Come on. Admit it. This is rich entertainment for Veterans Day. Right? You also never know what extended exposure in the hot sun can do to you down there in St. Pete. I always stress timelines and continuity. This fellow can’t seem to get the facts the same on any given day. PTSD can do that to you.

In this regard, the Board notes that the Veteran’s service personnel record includes documentation of his places and dates of service, but does not include any reference to service in Vietnam. Similarly, the Veteran’s DD Form 214 includes no evidence or indicia of Vietnam service. Moreover, in an April 2006 claim, the Veteran marked on page two that he did not serve in Vietnam, but instead served in Okinawa. The Board finds that the credibility of the Veteran’s allegations of service in Vietnam is outweighed by his service personnel records, and by his own statement to the contrary.

I guess I feel sorry for this Veteran. He probably has had a hard life and met a Vet at the VFW who recited a few anecdotes about life in Vietnam. With little to lose and much to gain from a nice PTSD comp. check, he shoots the moon and even throws Sen. John McCain in for good measure. Not very well thought out.  The good thing is they didn’t lock him up for attempted fraud or stolen valour.  Here was his last shot in the dark.

The Board likewise finds non-credible the Veteran’s assertion that his claimed PTSD results from herbicide exposure.

I guess we have to figure the VLJ wasn’t going to bite on that one after the determination that Johnbo never walked in the red clay. Well, hey. He tried. Maybe a diagnosis if PLSD?

Dude. Let’s motor on over to Vũng Tàu and slap some gook generals. They’ve got killer beaches and tasty waves. I know right where we can park the rig. It’s like Surf City, dude. Two girls for every guy. They won’t miss us or the boat for a few days. Trust me on this one, Johnny.