Honest to God, I have had clients who deserved the highest ratings VA can offer yet the Agency turns a blind eye to them or insists they are good to go. In the instant case here, I fought one battle after another insisting this ol’ boy deserved R1 at the very least and most likely R2. Unlike VSO representatives, I tend to refrain from filing 18-wheeler claims. You know- the ones where you need an extra sheet on the 526 to list all the claims. VA tends to deny the need for aid and attendance before they adjudicate the disease or injury that provokes the need for it. Same game here. Read on. 

Since it’s Labor Day weekend, my humor gene is in full bloom. I simply can’t resist irritating that gal Karen (her real baptismal name) who comes here to vocalize her dissatisfaction with the Orange Man. It began with her hatred of Justice Brett Kavanaugh and hasn’t abated ever since. Attempting to talk reason with her is a fool’s errand. Regardless, no one sane can object to him (except her) when considering America’s latest addition to the Court.

Now let’s analyze Jimbo. He’s a Veteran of the US Air Force like me. Unlike me, he managed to keep his nose clean and get out with a clean discharge. He served from 68 to 72 and did a year in Nam. From his health, it’s clear he ate, breathed and managed to bathe in his fair share of Agents Orange, White and Blue.

Jim’s code sheet_Redacted

He has had above the knee amputations on both legs (DM II)and his heart is plumb tuckered out. With these two presumptives alone, you’d think I could get him up to at least R1. The poor guy has more wrong with him than he does right. Think of everything Diabetes can do to you and you get the picture. Hypertension? Check. Diabetic Nephropathy. Check. And on and on. Being bedridden, I guess I don’t need to go into the subject of bedsores.

A fellow VA Agent referred him to me and I foolishly thought I could wave my magic SMC wand and get him up to the top licketyspit. Shoo doggies. This was going to be a cakewalk, right? No legs from above the knees down? This was going to be easier than fishing with E. I. Dupont Nemours’ most famous Bass lure (the M 26). My hubris was quickly extinguished. It began when I filed for SC for the Ischemic Heart Disease (IHD) and a few other things. I carefully explained that the Jimmeister would need special transportation to his c&p exam due to the fact that his lower extremities wouldn’t reach the pedals in his car. Well, that and the fact that he had no vehicle and was residing in an institution of higher care for those extremely disabled.

A Grunt with a long history of M 26s

I also asked his daughter to call the VA’s Prize Redemption line (827-1000) and ask them how they wanted to arrange this transportation paradox. Check this out.

Jim’s request for ambulance_Redacted

I guess I don’t need to tell you they ignored his daughter and marked him down as a no-show. And of course promptly confirmed and continued his three (3) current SMC Ks the same day. Yep. Two amputated legs equals an SMC L in every case I’d ever dealt with up to now but here, because he’d had the amputations at different times, the boys at Fort Fumble in San Diego looked at it differently and called it two Ks. I finally had to scream foul and ask for a do over. The second time, they sent an ambulance over to the tune of $775 and then tried to bill him for it. It took an email to Secretary Denis to fix that one.

AirAm Helio Courier at Pakse (1969)

But nevertheless, reasonable medical minds at VA could only concur that Ol’ Jimbo was dogging it. He didn’t need aid and attendance because, well hell’s bells, he was already getting SMC in a slightly different way. Look at that shit ton of Ks he was sporting. Can’t have these trailer trash Veterans pyramiding the SMC system and sucking up all that baksheesh that rightfully should be going into the Christmas Party fund to offset the cost of renting the Karaoke machines. With suitable prostheses, he could probably enter the Boston Marathon… and win.

And so I set sail for the BVA and greener pastures. I wasn’t asking for anything special. Just  a) loss of use of the uppers; b) a&a for PTSD; and c) a&a for his COPD. Winning an R2 was not uppermost in my mind. It would be the inevitable outcome in a perfect world but we don’t enjoy that luxury. And speaking of uppermost in my mind, who’s the ignorant slut who disgorged the phrase “top of mind”? It sounds like woke DEI shit.

Imagine my joy to have the luck of the draw and getting Veterans Law Judge Danette Mincey. She’s a former Navy JAG so there’s that. In my world, I’d much prefer to have a Veteran as a Judge than a civilian. In six short pages, she got this puppy sorted and didn’t waste time remanding it back to the chuckleheads down in southern Cal for another Texas Necktie Party. Paraphrased, she pretty much said “Make it so, Numbah One and be quick about it.”

VLJ Danette Mincey-Queen for a Day

What’s curious is that three weeks later (Friday last), the VA hierarchy at the OAR announced the SMC Calculator won’t compute it and rejects the BVA’s assignment of R2. You can almost hear Elvis’ voice singing, “Return to Sender; Address unknown; No such number; No such zone.” If you folks will recall, the VA’s OIG  discovered (several months ago) the SMC Calculator has been broken since 2019.  That’s funny because that was also the advent of the new AMA process. I guess the Poobahs in San Diego didn’t get the email yet. What’s even worse is no one in the VBA knows how to do it manually- e.g., read 38 CFR §3.350.

8.12.2025 R2_Redacted

So now we wait for someone with the authority to piss on the fire and call in the dogs before the Jimster reaches room temperature…

What can I say? In war, men and dogs are like peas and carrots.

And now let’s talk about Combat Craig. I don’t have a hard on for the poor guy. In fact, in retrospect, now that I know the circumstances, I realize he was nothing more than a pawn of the VA just like all folks who aspire to help Vets. First off, let’s get this straight. His name wasn’t Craig. It was Louis Bauer. He died on August 10 of this year when he did a header going down the steps to the Combat Craig Control Bunker in his basement. That’s the repository of all his headgear. Secondly, just for the record, Louie wasn’t a combat Vet. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he was exhibiting symptoms of stolen valor but there it is. I don’t call myself Combat Alex. Call me Buckwheat or Grahamcracker. Just don’t call me late for dinner.

Part of the Apres-Tet party in Hue

I have no idea whether he was under the influence of adult beverages or not. That’s immaterial. What is material to me is why anyone would forego using their real name. Sure. I used Asknod for years until I got my 20-year pin from VA. At that point they couldn’t reduce me for all my ratings and punish me for speaking out about VA’s gross ineptitude. But Louie could have had just as much oomph under his real moniker. Turns out the guy pulling the marionette strings and making the majority of the dough was named Craig. Seems like that falls into the Roseanne Roseannadana category of “It always goes to show it’s something, right?”

Note the ol’ boy on the left had his dogtags taped together so as not to make a bunch of racket out in the field.

Louie and I actually had a lot in common. We were both in the Air Force and both got kicked out for misbehaving. We both got a General Discharge (DD 257) under honorable conditions. Rumor has it that Louie was rated for PTSD and tinnitus. How that qualified him for his Utube gig is beyond my ken.

But I don’t like to speak unkindly about the dead. I’m sure Louie thought he was well-versed in VA law and convinced that it was a bad idea to “poke the bear”. But in the real world of VA litigation, you will never get to SMC at any level unless you’re willing to stab the proverbial bear to death.

Think about it. Perseverance in this game is the touchstone of winning. If you give up on your first denial, you concede they’re right. Since we know they have a 74% error rate in everything they touch, it stands to reason you may have to appeal to the Danette Minceys in life to get it right. What the Hey? That’s what the BVA is for. Ditto the CAVC when they refuse to listen below.

So, this Labor Day, join me in hoisting your beers and your shots of single malt high and offer a toast to ol’ Louie. I’m sure he meant well. Think about it. If it wasn’t for the wealth of misinformation he vomited up over the years, VA litigators like me would be either out of a job or forced to consider a second gig at Only Fans®. I’m just trying to imagine how to monetize my disfigured abdomen…

I’d also like you to consider your own mortality this weekend. I look at Keith Richards and Willy Nelson and think holy shit. How did they survive this long? Then I think about Richard Simmons and thank my lucky stars I didn’t squander my whole life exercising. Amen.