Rich Scott

I’m nigh on to positive sure everyone is looking at the title of this one and scratching some part of their anatomy. No, it’s not a musical title like Hotel California and there are no pork bellies involved. This is Cupcake’s and my first getaway road trip since the Covidemic™ snuck up on us back in ’20. I’m gonna trademark that word because I just invented it, too. Now to the subject- the Great Big Bacation. When Buckwheat junior was knee high to a 9 inch bottle of Schlitz back in ’92, we went on a Carnival Cruise to Mexico. His diction was a mite off so, at about four,  it came out as a ‘b’. I don’t think most parents would be alarmed unless their younguns were still saying bacation when they reached 15. But with the youngest generation now, I might be wrong.

Buckwheat Junior on the great big bacation to Mexico

Right. So I’ve lived in our great state of Washington since moving up here after the Cal Jam at the Ontario Speedway in April 1974. Great Concert. It was my first sighting of Ozzy Osborne and Black Sabbath. In all that time since, I’ve always had a hankering to drive across Route 20 (the North Cascades Highway) and see what everyone was oohing and ahhhing about. Rarely does Mother Nature exceed my expectations and leave me in awe. This was kinda like going to Yellowstone and having one of those “Holy shit, Batman.” moments. Or perhaps the first time I was coming left on final and saw those Titty Karsts at the end of the one-way runway up at Alternate (Long Tieng) in ’70. They didn’t call it the Vertical Speed Brake for nothing.

Right off when we finally got aimed onto Route 20 heading East off of I 5, the first thing we saw was the “Vietnam Veterans Memorial Highway” sign (above). How cool is that? Considering the fact that it took 50 years or so for America to wake up to the rudeness visited on us in the 60s and 70s when we returned, I’m almost glad I waited that long to accomplish this odyssey- if only to see that sign.

Now, the second reason, at the symbolic end of this Route 20 East rainbow, is Curlew, Washington (pop. 49). I do mean it’s at the end of the goat track. Another 12 miles and you’ll be in Canada. Curlew is akin to that mythical town of Bugtustle where Jed and Granny set out from back in ’62. It’s absolutely bucolic; a general store (sometimes), a heavy equipment repair place for farm gear, a church or two… and Scott Brothers® Coffee at the foot of Scott’s Mountain. 

Richard (Rich) Scott and his daughter Satya buy beans from all over the world and roast them to order. They may have clients on multiple continents for all I know. It stands to reason. I’ve begun sending their beans as presents to some of my clients and good friends. Rick and his brother Dave began the business years ago but Dave retired from it. Together they built a Tim Allen Home Improvement ‘Binford’ version of a coffee roaster with “more power”. This thing has enough electric elements in it to heat four 1500 sq. foot homes simultaneously. It literally can roast 3 pounds of beans in ten minutes.

We were gifted some of these magic beans by one of Cupcake’s real estate agents (Nivan) way back when and I swore I was gonna add this to my bucket list- to go shake that ol’ boy’s hand and tell him how much I enjoy his coffee.

Job site dog.

Now, the kicker to this is they don’t actually roast your beans until you order them. Then they USPS Priority Mail them (3 days) to you moat lao (Laotian for “with great celerity”) so you get them fresh. When I go down to the mailbox to retrieve them, I can smell them through all the wrappings outside the box before I even open it. I’ve heard tell that some folks swear Rich’s beans are still warm when they arrive- but I’d allow as I’ve never seen that.

I sure don’t want to make this seem like an advertisement for Rich and Satya’s business but there it is. When somebody has a superior product, it’s said the world will beat a path to your door- even if it’s 75 miles to hell and gone past East Bumfork, Egypt.  Truth is, I’d give my left kidney (or what’s left of it) to be able to live there. The Kettle River runs right out in front of the Coffee Grindery/Roastery there on Route 21. Rich says there’s so many trout you can dang near walk across the water on top of ’em in summer. We saw more Mule deer than you could shake a stick at, too. We’re talking big boys sporting some serious Boone and Crockett headgear.

Author, Rich, Satya and Cupcake

And right at the end, ol’ Rich allowed as he was an Army Veteran who’d served up in Fort Wainwright, Alaska during the war. How cool is that? All in all, it was a great getaway and well worth the wait. We’re FNGs. We’ve only been buying Scott Bros. Beans for about 5 years. Fact is, if Cupcake and I had gone much before that, we’d never have known to make the Hajj to Curlew. Like Roseanne Rosannadana once said “It always goes to show it’s somethin’.”

As a closing comment, I’d like to apologize if I scared any of my readership with my prolonged absence away from writing. All is well. No heart attacks or inpatient horror stories to report. Just a shit ton of briefs to write. One thing you all have to understand though is it’s summertime, which in Washington, is one of those rare times we can go outside and witness there actually is a Sun and warmth. Well, that and go cool off when it gets hot down at the cement pond out back we put in for Pickles. You see, folks up here don’t get the opportunity to tan too awful much.  We sort of tend to rust mostly.