Several years ago, in a misguided attempt to pacify Vietnam Veterans- i.e., those genuine few of us still left- President Trump (in 2017) declared March 29 as the annual day every year to officially celebrate our last day in-country. For the following reasons, many of us Veterans who actually served there find this backasswards. Think about it. In 1986, President Reagan declared May 7th  National Barrier Awareness Day. Eleven years had passed and nobody even thought to propose a day to reflect on the 58,494 of us who received the golden BB?  Yet, as a panacea, they offer us March 29. One hopes our new National Day did not upstage National Butterfly Day or the like.  Gifting us March 29th is about as comparable as stating that June 6, 1944, marked the end of World War II. 

I’m going to walk away from that and talk about other things because it’s insulting on its face. I respect folks in wheelchairs and the trials and tribulations they face, but I believe it would be okay to share May 7th with them. What the hey? I’ve never gotten drunk and maudlin with a wheel chariot Vet  yet. It might be one of those “insightful”  woke moments to reflect on the true meaning of “boldly going where no man has gone before”. Who knows? Perhaps we could all get to know each others’ favorite scotch.

In spite of the bummer of being paraplegic or having lost the use of the lower extremities, it’s not like 58,494 of them ended up there via a Bouncing Betty or died in combat. Remember also, after 2001, all of a sudden everyone had that sinking inner revelation about how just maybe they forgot to welcome us home back in the late 60s-early 70s.  What amazes me is the official statement:

“It was chosen to be observed in perpetuity as March 29, 1973 was the day United States Military Assistance Command, Vietnam was disestablished and also the day the last U.S. combat troops departed Vietnam. “

MACV might have been officially disbanded that day but I happen to know the 7th Air Force Tactical Air Combat Control Center (TACC) was still humming right on through until about April 29th ’75, busily providing air cover for the ARVN troops because they couldn’t figure out how to provide timely air cover for their own troops. Their last directive was to provide support for the Hueys being flown out to our ships and thence turned into fish habitat/coral reefs at the bottom of the South China Sea in the Dixie Station area. At $2.5 million a copy for the newer  H models, that sounds like a job the new DOGE could have really sunk their teeth into…

But that’s rearview mirror shit and no longer pertinent to our National Conversation on  the direction America is taking in the New Administration. Let’s talk about the “New” VA under VA Secretary Doug Collins. Hoooo doggies. Seems that ol’ boy can’t win for losing. But let’s put it in context. In 2007, I found myself nigh on to dying from complications of my Hepatitis C. I had too many employees on the payroll. I couldn’t sell any of the houses I had built. We were on the cusp of the new Paradigm of  what we were told was a financial reset. Pour sand into our gas tanks, destroy the engines and buy new cars to help save GM and Ford. But that was complicated by all the foreclosures and short selling. Who in Sam Hill had any dough for a new car?

I laid those guys off and kept my son in law on in order to keep my daughter’s family fed. Secretary Collins is staring down the same gun barrel. His predecessor had to hire 88,000 newbies to create a whole new wing of the VA devoted to DEI and making sure those brand new Veterans who weren’t sure if they were a boy or a girl were not ostracized for their confusion. Sure, that 88,000 also included a large number who were tasked with instituting the new PACT ACT “Zeros for Heroes” Program. But PACT is yesterday’s news unless you count the 5 million that got zero percent ratings for lung cancer and rhinitis. They’re still working on a compensable rating.

And, like poor old Graham Construction, Pastor Doug is faced with having to lay off a lot of deadwood to save our benefits. If you get past all the dire gloom and doom of the layoffs, aren’t you, as concerned Veterans,  far more worried about getting quality medical care and rapid claims resolution more so than what pronouns are used to describe you?  Seriously, if I were a Veteran using VA medical, I’d prefer to get a psych appointment in less than four months- even if it meant having to lay off nonessential VAMC personnel who are not psychologists, Doctors or nurses. This all about Veterans-not Veterans Administration employees. Remember?

To put that in context, how ’bout all those Rosie the Riveters building airplanes and tanks that got laid off after WWII? I don’t reckon anyone heard  a shit ton of them pitch a bitch at getting laid off or complain that by rights they should be kept on to keep building unneeded Sherman tanks and B 29s because it was unfair. Shit happens. Seasons change. We don’t use dial telephones nowadays because technology has progressed.

One might notice that Huey going over the side had USAF markings on it, not VNAF. Note the Pig Pintle mount in the door gunner’s position.

Moving on…Next week we of the NOVA persuasion will make our biannual pilgrimage to our conferences in Minneapolis- Saint Paul and seek enlightenment on how to better skin the VA cat. We will pause in our VA fishing to cut bait. Personally, I find it to be more of  a networking exercise. I found my latest employee Amanda at the one in Salt Lick City last Fall. I do hope this causes immense consternation at DROCs across our fruited plains to think I’ve cloned another asknod.

Due to the overwhelming success of my practice, far too many Veterans with the most dreadful injuries have been bragging about how they finally won their Big Chicken Dinners after coming to me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blowing smoke up my own ass. I wouldn’t be that presumptuous. I don’t have any explanation for my success in this business other than having worn combat boots like all of you. Besides, after 35 years of playing VA poker, there’s not a lot of hand grenades they can throw at me that I haven’t seen already.

The CAR 15 Shorty carbine- the aircrews’ best friend

The asknod website has now been in business for seventeen years. Sure, there are other far older sites out  there that provide advice-some free and some pay-to-play. The fact is there are new websites popping up like weeds in your garden every day. Some employ censorship to squelch those who do not toe the Party Line. Face it, if you don’t kowtow to the Admins’ sacred Exalted members like Cruiser or BroncoVet, you have to be removed to avoid contamination or controversy. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few etc.

That’s the problem inherent in all “forum-model” Veterans sites. Everyone is a self-avowed expert after doing their own claim. Eventually, too many experts spoil the broth and the Admin weenies have to lay off the offenders and take away their tastevin. Or, as George Orwell explained in Animal Farm, some pigs are “more equal” than other pigs. Here at asknod, we subscribe to telling you the truth-no matter how distasteful the news- and allow you to express your feelings on the developments. Where else do you get to tell the head honcho he’s an absolute ignorant dick without losing your access?

Betty Crocker’s New Adventures in combat- the 40 mike-mike squirt gun

We don’t charge admission or have a secret password. We don’t even have a secret handshake. You don’t get better service if you supersize your commitment and buy the Executive Package for $499.95. We don’t have one. I have striven over all these years to find the loopholes and shortcuts to success. Our mission (Pickles and me with a heapin’ helpin’ of Cupcake) is to show Veterans how to win. We honestly love doing this.

And lastly, so as not to bore you to tears with nothing  burgers, I got a call from one of my Veteran’s wives who had previously come to me with horrific problems in ’22. She attended a Veterans Wives’ circle of extremely disabled Vets down in Phoenix and got my number from one of my earliest wins for R2. Donna informed me that based on their success in obtaining R1 for her husband Roger, she had been identified and selected by Mr. Frank Stiller’s committee at Tunnel to Towers™ to receive  a home built and gifted to them. She called to thank me for creating the pathway to the benefit. Best of all, she invited us back for the ribbon cutting ceremony this November at the new development outside of Memphis. How cool is that? I get to meet Roger.

I assure you I am not a parade kind of guy. Actually, I refrained from even mentioning I was a Vietnam Vet for almost 30 years until it became fashionable again after the 2001 tête-à tête down in Iraq. To me, my proudest accomplishment to date was getting sued by the Wounded Wallet crew for exposing their 39% “charity technique”.  For those of you who have taken my SMC Jedi Knight training, refer to Class Number 10 on Roger Ramjet. He’s the lucky recipient of the new house. And boy howdy did he earn it at tremendous medical and mental expense.

So… that’s the way it is… March 29, 2025, which assuredly was not the last day combat troops departed the Republic of South Viet Nam. Have a happy pre-Ollie-Ollie Income Day from Viet Nam. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

And from Ed the LURP, what else? Hand grenade training.