PROPER PROTOCOL FOR HANDLING PRESS CONFERENCES


What the hey? Not that any of you avid readers will ever encounter this intractable problem, I nevertheless supply it for that inopportune moment when you find yourself at a temporary loss for words. As an important mentor instructed me once during the war geographical argument over certain territories in Southeast Asia “If you can’t impress them with your intelligence on the matter, baffle them with your illuminative bullshit”. Herewith, I submit same. 

Premier Kim Jong-Un announced he would personally be giving a news conference discussing North Korea’s imminent landing of a man on the sun within the next several years. After his initial announcement on the subject, many reporters raised their hands with questions for the Premier.


One rude reporter shouted out, “Rubbish. The sun is thousands of degrees Celsius. No one can even get within 10 million miles of the orb! How do your propose to do so?”
 
The audience was stunned with the reporter’s brazen query and the room fell into a long silence. Jong-Un, unruffled in the least by the outburst, declared in even tones “We will land at night.”

The gathering and everyone in North Korea watching on television broke into thunderous applause at his rejoinder.

 

Back in Washington D.C., Nancy Pelosi and her staff were watching the news conference. Upon hearing Jong-Un’s remarks  about the sun landing, Pelosi sneered, “What a complete idiot – everybody knows there’s no sun at night.”

 

Her staff broke into thunderous applause at this tidbit of insight.

In the immortal words on one Forest Gump, a noted philosopher- “Stupid is as stupid does.”

And that is all I’m gonna say about that.

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in Humor, KP Veterans, VA Agents and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to PROPER PROTOCOL FOR HANDLING PRESS CONFERENCES

  1. MICHAEL P OLIVER says:

    BEST comedy I’ve read and seen for some time; topped off by the incredible photo of Nancy at Top. For ANY veteran under her regional authority; good luck with that, you might get more attention if you change your sex. SERIOUSLY NOW; Immediate Opportunity for a “Grant” (up to 50K) from the Google/Medium/Matter group (empire?) which opened TODAY for Applications; of which your’s truly did option upon and completed my own application about 11:30 AM. What-the-hey, ANY legitimate “news source” has a chance within this “$300 Million$$” investment that Google is making in this. While I have NO Link for you-all, a simple “google”Google Matter would most probably bring you to the icon you need. Be prepared, the application took me about 1/2 hour. Nonetheless, If I were to receive a small piece of this pie, then my own efforts on social media to broadcast significant stories; could expand exponentially with someone else’s funding eh? best of success!

  2. Karen S says:

    The way I heard the story, it was TRUMP who said that, NOT. Pelosi.

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