PILOT TRUISMS, LAWS AND RULES


wr-f2

Lt. Col. G.M. Graham- May 1945

East Coast sends me this intriguing summary of the World According to Daedalus-he, of course, being the first Pilot. I run across much about fighter pilots as my father was a good one. His whole life revolved around thrust to weight ratios and how long something could stay airborne without flaming out. Pilots tend to test boundaries. I think being steeped in that thinking is, for the most part, what pushes me to exceed good taste when dealing with VA. Enjoy this.

OLD PILOTS

Pilots are people who drive airplanes for other people who can’t fly.

Passengers are people who say they fly, but really just ride.

Fighter Pilots are steely eyed weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average fighter pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.  (However, these feelings usually don’t involve anyone else.)

Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.

Death is just nature’s way of telling you the aircraft’s limitations have been exceeded.

As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you (and one of them will):

a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, knowing it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, not knowing it is your last flight.

Rules and Laws

There are rules and there are laws:
The rules are made by men who think that they know how to fly your airplane better than you.
The laws (of physics) were ordained by God.
You can, and sometimes should, suspend the rules, but you can never suspend the laws.

About Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don’t have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., if you fly under a bridge, you mustn’t hit the bridge.)

Good Advice

Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full.

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he who demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night and over the ocean. Most of them are scary.

The aircraft’s structural limits are only there in case there is another flight being contemplated using that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits. 

“If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs.” (President, DELTA Airlines.)

In the Alaskan bush, I’d rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa.

An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.

Airlines have really changed … now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

I’ve flown in both pilot seats. Can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot?

unnamed-21

You have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can’t do both. 

unnamed-7

 

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in Food for thought, Humor, KP Veterans and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to PILOT TRUISMS, LAWS AND RULES

  1. Lawrence Rusiwewicz says:

    The three most useless things to a pilot are: gas in the gas truck, runway behind you, and altitude above you. Author unknown.

  2. As a DUSTOFF pilot, I don’t unnerstan!

    • asknod says:

      It’s difficult to understand for a rotorhead because you grunts think the prop should be bigger than the aircraft. Orville and Wilbur solved that problem over a hundred years ago. Sikorsky will always be remembered for inventing the term “autorotate” when there was absolutely no grammatical need for it. If the Army hadn’t given up their horses, they wouldn’t need choppers. Choppers were an Army solution looking for a problem. Dustoffs, on the other hand,were,and probably still are, God’s one and only gift to Eleven Bravos- a promise to get you out pronto when you get broken. Dustoff pilots are quite obviously missing half their brains. The side that recognizes danger and identifies the potential for certain death is missing or AWOL.

      The Ute Indian name (crudely translated) for a dustoff pilot is Dances With Bullets. That says it all.

  3. john king says:

    There are bold pilots and old pilots but few old and bold pilots.

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