VA Spokesperson Shawn McDandy summoned an impromptu Press Conference this morning in the Blue Paper Room at 810 Varmint Ave NW to announce an expansion planned way back in the early eighties. Citing to Veterans Administration research on the subject, a large cohort of Veterans are expected to begin settling soon in the southernmost portion of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam- formerly the Republic of Vietnam. This migration, forecast to occur in the near future is “overdue” said McDandy.
Most are anticipated to be former Vietnam veterans who were stationed there in the sixties and early seventies. As they age, they reputedly seek warmer climes they can afford on their meager compensation and pensions. This senior age group will require a robust VA presence and the construction soon of a very large VA Medical Center slated to specialize in pediatric diseases. Towards that end, the Vietnamese Government has agreed to partner with the Veterans Health Administration and form a co-existence and mutual aid pact with the Ho Chi Minh City Hospital and Medical college. This is a win-win for veterans as they will get affordable, cutting edge medicine from top notch residents learning their trade.
Secretary Ronald “McBob” McDonald is slated to fly out in the next two weeks for the ground breaking ceremony following Monsoon season on January 30th, the 48th anniversary of the Tet Offensive. Completion is anticipated to be in late 2036-just in time for the expected tsunami of all those thousands of geriatric Vietnam veterans in their late eighties to early nineties. Secretary McDonald was quick to step up and point out the obvious advantages of getting started sooner rather than later. The snafu in Denver still weighs heavily on him and his VHA planners. This also forebodes excessive scrutiny will be forthcoming. Financing for the actual project has not been appropriated nor has a final figure been arrived at but the Secretary pointed out the obvious: “Hey you think Congress is going to piss on the vets? We’ve got this in the bag”.
Mr. McDandy pointed out that the recent thawing of relations between the US and Vietnam aided greatly in this endeavor. In fact, Dear Leader Ngoc An Goh was heard to mention that the new Chinese presence in the Spratley Islands lends even more urgency to the detente.