Arliss, the wise old Eleven Bravo Vietnam Vet had six stars on his VSM and was getting on in his years. By now, he was a year-around resident with his high school sweetheart wife in Phoenix. Prodded by his wife, he picked up the phone Wednesday morning early, calling his son Zeb in Nashville to inform him of the impending divorce…
“Have you lost your senses? That’s impossible. You and Mom are like peas and carrots. You better think this over. This is way too abrupt. It isn’t like you, Dad. Are you depressed? What is it?”
Arliss paused and sighed “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer, I guess. Your Mom ain’t exactly an Oprah Winfrey of conversation, you know. We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.” He promptly hung up and consulted his watch.
Frantically, Zeb texted his sister in Chitown, informing her of the imminent breakup. In a flurry of thumbs, moments later Nadeen texted back ” F*** tht noise. Lik hell they r. Pak ur bags. We re going to fenix. Im bookng for both of us. See u ther tomro pm. Luv n”.
Nadeen deftly switched to voice and called her parents’ number from memory. In her haste, she had to redial it twice. Her shaking thumbs refused to obey her commands.
“Dad, you’ve had a stroke or something. Relax. Don’t do anything until we get there tomorrow. Zeb and I will be flying in and we’ll get a rental car so you and Mom can just sit tight. We can work this out. You guys have almost 50 years invested in this. Don’t do anything rash. Promise me?”
Arliss sagely nodded his head in agreement and and allowed as how he and Cupcake could try to be civil to one another for a day or so more maybe but there were no guarantees in life. He mentioned an address at the local Holiday Inn if she arrived and found him gone. After exchanging tearful endearments with one another, they hung up.
Hanging up the phone in the front hall, Arliss yelled to Doreen in the kitchen.
” Three and a half minutes. Damn, you won. They’ll both be flying in tomorrow afternoon and they are paying their own airfare. Jez, you had that dialed to a T, Sugar. I wonder how many times we can get away with this?”
Thank you to lifelong Marine and genuine Vietnam Veteran Tom (180%) of the Win or Die Club for this one. Happy Thanksgiving from one corn dog Veteran to all of you Veterans.