I’m in a quandary. Apparently my long-lost uncle who went down in the forties (after his ship sank with all hands due to German submarines) has surfaced in Mozmbique. Or, more exactly, his housekeeper has contacted me to let me know he died impossibly rich beyond anyone’s comprehension. The fly in the ointment is the tax men. Yolanda is perfectly willing to be the bag man on this and carry the water for me but she’s short on funds.

In order to free up the account, it seems the easiest thing would be to just deposit a small sum of $8, 246.21 in her account and she’ll do this for me gratis. I emailed her back and said I’d fly over post haste for that kind of money ($3.2 mil.) and take care of it myself. Unfortunately, I’m not a citizen and would have to be a resident for 90 days in order to exercise this prerogative. Yolanda, however, is a citizen and would be willing to even personally fly the money to me here in Washington state for a small pittance of say $10,000.00 USD. Fortunately that even includes airfare. Her passport is current and she stands ready to step into the breech.  I don’t know why but it seems people are so generous with their time and more amenable to reason and helpfulness around Christmastime.  At any rate, Cupcake and I were hoping some of you would like to share in our good fortune. Since we are paupers, we need about another $8,000.00 to make this happen. If any of you are interested, we would be willing to share the money with you on a pro rata basis commensurate with your stake. I can personally vouch for Yolanda  since she has a valid email address. She certainly could have kept all the money to herself and never contacted me. This proves here bona fides in my book.

What amazes me is that Uncle Dick survived that sinking and swam 2,000 miles to Mozambique. He always was a good swimmer according to my mom. I still can’t believe he never contacted us for all those years. He must not have had our address. Yolanda also said he left her a letter to give to us in case she ever found us. She is truly an angel. I’ll wait to hear from any of you who can help us. Enclosed is a picture she sent attached to the email. Cupcake says she looks pretty honest.




About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to KENYA PROBLEMS

  1. peter says:

    Tell her it’s her lucky day as your willing to release your share of the pie for only 50k. Have her send the paper work….peter

  2. RobertG says:

    Truly pathetic cons and play on peoples stupidity. I get emails like this from priests, nuns, veterans and an angry midget in Nigeria. I used to forward them to the FTC but just delete them now. Uncle Dick must of been a one eyed squid precursor to those sneaky navy seals of today. I say give the money to the Navy…

  3. PuddleJumper says:

    Yolanda’s sister Bullanda in Nigeria contacted me about my long lost Uncle’s passing-on, and leaving 8 million in the bank. She will do this for free; All she wants is my bank routing number.

  4. randy says:

    Yolanda is looking quite well for her age. I will have to take care of other commitments first such as the now deceased barrister who claimed me as his sole heir. I’ll get back with you though.

  5. cdneh says:

    *giggle* Let me know how it works out for you.

    • asknod says:

      I think we’re missing the opportunity of a lifetime. That’s almost 24 dollars back on every dollar invested. A smart return if would be. Yessssssssssssssss.

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