These classic quotes are still fun. (Mencken’s quote reminded me of the continuing ILP greenhouse saga.)
At my age flowers scare me.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken
Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Charles Dudley Warner
Pain was something we were expected to endure. But I doubt very much if you would be entirely happy today if a doctor threw a towel in your face and jumped on you with a knife.
Groucho’s birthday is coming up: October 2!
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.