VA rats fighting emergency care CAVC ruling: Richard W. Staab v. Robert A. McDonald

The financial shocks that VHA-enrolled veterans face when they find out that none of their emergency care claims will be covered, if they have Medicare or private insurance, is of no ethical concern to the VA.  The National Veterans Legal Services Program represented Mr. Staab and won a huge victory at the CAVC in April (LINK) which said the VA must be a secondary payer.

But the VA’s Office of General Counsel is fighting the decision with vigor.  A Stars and Stripes article, VA predicts emergency care claim tsunami if ruling is upheld, covered the VA’s appeal in August (LINK).  This article contains some choice VA whining.

Here are the VA’s appeal dates at the CAVC–click image below.

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CLICK TO READ LARGER TEXT

 

Now the case is at the U.S. Court for the Federal Circuit, Case #16-2671–click below.   January is an important date for all enrolled vets.   This is so evil I can’t believe they are doing this to the veterans least financially able to cover emergency non-VA hospital bills. VA is wasting precious resources.  And this action, if successful, will discourage vets from buying a Medicare Advantage plan etc…so it’s also incredibly stupid.  The VA  clearly has NO intention of writing new rules. 

Previous post on Staab:  (LINK)

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Posted in All about Veterans, CAvC HCV Ruling, CAVC Knowledge, CAVC ruling, CAVC/COVA Decision, Complaints Department, Food for thought, Important CAVC/COVA Ruling, Lawyering Up, Military Madness, research, Uncategorized, VA Attorneys, VA BACKLOG, vA news | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Wikileaks and other groups help citizens read public domain Congressional Research Service (CRS) reports

Topic: Important nonpartisan accurate resources 

In 2014, I posted about CRS, a section of the Library of Congress (LINK). Some of its reports were posted online haphazardly. (The report I referenced has been updated.) During the pre-election craziness, I searched Wikileak’s website for the term “veterans.”  I didn’t spend much time reading hits but I was surprised to find out that the over CRS 6,700 reports, all public domain documents, are not open access.  They are, however, on a private internal Congressional website.  

Wikileaks website gave over 6,000 reports to other archives, some now defunct.  New archiving projects, launched by transparency activists, have filled the gaps.

CRS Reports (LINK) is one with 77 veteran reports.

Every CRS Report (LINK), contains 8,277 reports with over 100 on veterans.  Here are a few miscellaneous titles:

  • Veterans Affairs: Presumptive Service Connection and Disability Compensation 11/18/14 (LINK)
  • How Agencies Monetize “Statistical Lives” Expected to Be Saved By Regulations 3/24/10  (LINK)
  • Department of Veterans Affairs FY2017 Appropriations 10/26/16 (LINK)
  • Supplemental Security Income (SSI): Income/Resource Limits and Accounts Exempt from Benefit Determinations  1/23/14 (LINK)

According to LOC, citizens pay the salaries and benefits of over “400 policy analysts, attorneys and information professionals” to prepare reports for Congress upon request.  These reports do not deal with classified matters so why the blackout?

Wikileaks says:

Open government lawmakers such as Senators John McCain (R-Arizona) and Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vermont) have fought for years to make the reports public, with bills being introduced–and rejected–almost every year since 1998. The CRS, as a branch of Congress, is exempt from the Freedom of Information Act.

Instead these bills die and the newest ones have only a 1% chance of passing (LINK & (LINK).   EveryCRSReport, claims to be the most complete site (LINK).

capitol

Complain!  Complain! Congress does not want us to know what reports they have ordered. This is just more elitist stupidity. Image: LOC

Posted in Complaints Department, Congressional Influence, Food for thought, General Messages, Guest authors, research, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 3 Comments

VASEC WISHES TO INFORM VETS OF CHANGES

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VLJ fully developed appeal

I get a lot of these from VA but this one came in from Florida John. Thank you for the propaganda. Our illustrious leader Bob wishes to keep us all up to date on the latest news of hirings/firings in the SES hierarchy. He also would like us to support his proposed haircut to BVA appeals. They want a new system where your appeal is decided without submission of any new evidence. I called it a FDA or fully developed appeal in a tongue-in-cheek post a while back. It’s not a joke now, though. VA is proposing to slay the backlog by giving you a simple thumbs up or down at the BVA Colosseum like a gladiator. 

When I published that in April 2015, it was hard on the heels of Helman-Sharon, that is. I even prophesied then that what was happened in Phoenix with their “scheduling-challenged” appointment takers was going to prove to be too tempting not to share with every other VAMC or overbooked CBOC. I don’t reckon you needed to be Karnak the All-Knowing to figure that one out.

Take a gander at VA brainwashing taken to the Nth degree:

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Posted in KP Veterans, VA Medical Mysteries Explained, vA news, VA statistics, Veterans Law | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

HADIT.COM RADIO SHOW–THURSDAY AT 1900 L(EAST) COAST

haditlogo2007In pursuit of my annual three hours for Continuing Legal Education (CLE) credits, I just did a webinar on DRO hearings sponsored by NOVA and  Matt Hill of Hill and Ponton. It was a great presentation and I was suitably impressed to find I didn’t know everything there was to know about this subject. 

Jerrel called yesterday afternoon and asked me if I’d like to play house on Blogtalk radio this week and I naturally agreed. I feel everyone would benefit from this knowledge even if they represent themselves. In spite of the fact I paid over $200 for this course, I will share it gratis. Well, most of it anyway. It’s no secret but VA does a damn fine job of obscuring it or keeping most Vets in the dark on some of these facts.

Call in number remains the same

347-237-4819

Simply dial the number 1 to enter the conversation. We’ll see you there (figuratively).

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Posted in DRO and BVA Hearings, Duty to Assist, KP Veterans, Tips and Tricks, VA Agents, VA Attorneys | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

BVA–JETGUN WIN BUT IT TOOK TEN YEARS AND A GOOD VA LAW DOG

download-13You read about the VA hamster wheel. Perhaps  you’ve taken a few rides yourself in the claims game. BVA remands, as I’ve pointed out in the past, are time alligators. My pet advocacy game with these jetgun claims is simple. You will never get a win from a jetgun risk alone at the RO level. Ever. Trust me. I’ve been pounding that nail since 2007. I don’t care if you have that buddy letter from your Squad leader Sgt. Jesu F. Christe saying it’s so. Not even the Surgeon General is going to convince a DRO-ever. They do not have the authority to grant at the AOJ.  

This is why you always ask for a traditional appeal and keep that new nexus IMO in your breast pocket until you get to the BVA. Plunk it down like you’re raising the bet, drop your pair of aces and call. This VLJ isn’t stupid. He can see the law as clearly as any and VLJ Anthony C. Sciré Jr. here is a relative FNG in this game. I call it the newer, smarter breed of Judges I’ve seen coming out of the woodwork and granting these intractable claims. If you were betting jetguns alone, it would be a crapshoot unless you got a fair VLJ. Jetguns and tattoos documented in the SF 88 at separation in #39 is a guaranteed winner. It always has been along with about a case or more of the clap. To set the record straight, dark urine is not jaundice. Jaundice is the yellow bilirubin buildup in your eyes and skin when your liver is hors d’ combat. Dark urine, however, is a strong indicator of an acute assault to the liver-like Hep C when initially contracted. Repeated dark urine for more than a week is pretty good evidence of at least Hep A.

I got both B and C at the same time in one transfusion and boy howdy did I turn high yellow. It went on for six weeks and kicked my ass for another two months afterwards. I don’t think I ever recovered fully.

3aea503Johnny Vet beat around the bush here and tried to win this with news clippings and internet articles. Fortunately, he kept it alive to the CAVC several times until he figured out how to play VA poker. Most will recall I wrote a complete chapter’s worth  on the subject  here as well as in my book on how the  squeaky wheel eventually gets the grease if you can keep it airborne. Fortunately for Johnny Vet here, he hooked up with Kathy Lieberman. She’s red hot on claims in general. I guess we could run a BVA search for how many Hep C claims she’s won. I don’t see the need. Her name precedes her. Look at those cites to Jones v. Shinseki 23 Vet.App. 382, 394 (2010):

In that regard, as noted by Judge Lance in his concurring opinion in Jones v. Shinseki, “if the medical evidence in the record indicates that a disability has only two potential causes and at least one is related to service, then the inability of the medical examiner to provide a reason why one is more likely the cause of the claimant’s disability would place the evidence in equipoise, and the benefit of the doubt rule would apply.”

That cite is worth its weight in gold. Memorize it.

Asknod's  VA Logo

Posted in BvA Decisions, BvA HCV decisions, HCV Risks (documented), IMOs/IMEs, Jetgun BvA Decisions, Jetgun Claims evidence, KP Veterans, Lawyering Up, VA Attorneys, Veterans Law, Vietnam Disease Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM VETS–RADIO SHOW

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Adrian Cronauer circa 2014 (photo courtesy of Charles Krupa AP)

No, we didn’t channel Adrian Cronauer. He’s still alive and well to my knowledge. I was asked by Marti Oakley to do a radio show this hallowed morning to discuss the evolving heritage of the vanishing Vietnam Veteran and the roll of Agent Orange in that disapearance. Cancer is beginning to become a large part of it and the VA, of course, is mighty picky about which kind is presumptive and which is not. 

Basically, this is the same format as  our Hadit.com Blog Talk Radio shows with Jerrel and John but  with a different call in number. The show begins at 1300 Hrs Central Daylight time which translates out to 1100 Hrs on the very Blue Left Coast states and 1400 Hrs. Eastern Daylight time.

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Call in number for this show is:

>> 917-388-4520 <<

Dial one (#1) at any time if you wish to enter the conversation or have any questions. And to all of you, thank you for your unselfish, unswerving dedication to keeping America  the greatest nation on Earth. Happy Veterans Day to each and every one of you.

LOGO THAT OTHERS MAY WIN

P.S. Here’s the link to the show if any wish to hear it.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/marti-oakley/2016/11/11/veterans-alex-graham-on-what-you-need-to-know-to-successfully-make-your-claim

 

Posted in Agent Orange, Camp Lejeune poisoning, KP Veterans, Medical News, Stardust Radio, Veterans Day, Vietnam Disease Issues, Vietnam War history | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

BEHAVIORAL HEALTHCARE– PTSD AND TBI SIMILARITIES

new-articleFound this great article in the NOVA monthly newsletter. The similarities between the two illnesses (PTSD and TBI)is so remarkable that VA admits they often cannot discern between the two. Ruh-oh, Rorge. Pyramiding is forbidden so make sure your nexus letters are very clear about who’s who and what’s what.

Here’s the link to the article you’ll want to hold on to if you suffer either malady. Good cites to recognized studies. Since VA is mentioned and cited, that will provide more fodder to the nexus and bolster your case.

Capture

Posted in Gulf War Issues, KP Veterans, Medical News, Tips and Tricks, VA Agents, VA Attorneys | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

VETERANS DAY 2016–A PALL AND A POX OVER OUR LAND

number-4As I sit down this morning to put fingers to keyboard, my heart is heavy. Our Country, whom you and I fought to preserve Democracy for, now indulges in a free-for-all of anger and retribution. Internecine warfare is even rending families into two camps of thought. The level of vitriol, which was already at a fever pitch, continues to grow in intensity. How sad.

America was once a shining star in an International sea of mediocrity. America was once the Land of Dreams where you could be all you wanted to be. Sam Walton and Bill Gates epitomized the budding potential in every American. Somewhere along the line, we succumbed to a different metric- one where we’re all victims of race, prosperity, job discrimination, sexism, ad nauseum. I never thought I would live long enough to see two people of the same sex marry legally. That is not to say I oppose it but the incongruity of it is glaring. You don’t see two male robins or bluebirds build a nest together. I don’t need to drown you in further analogies so I’ll refrain.

I never expected to see a law enacted that would allow a boy to legitimately enter a girl’s bathroom because he perceived himself more ‘feminine’ than masculine. Again, I do not dispute the logic. I merely find it a non sequitur. If certain of us feel trapped in the wrong body, the repair order is to provide another ‘unisex’ bathroom for their privacy. The 2016 politically correct idiot’s delight repair order is somehow to ask the female populace to acquiesce to this and allow males in-or vice versa for women who feel equally that they are really a male. I would give my eye teeth to see a woman so inclined use a urinal.

I never expected I’d have to choose between two chowderheads for President-neither of which is qualified in the least for the job. I discount the third party candidates as they have no possibility of winning regardless of their qualifications. Notwithstanding the poor choices this election season, I never thought I would ever ‘unfollow’ or cease the newsfeed of someone who chooses to hang all manner of tripe on my Facebook page thus trying to imply that I subscribe to their beliefs. One of my strongest beliefs above and beyond the sanctity of human life is free speech. As many as come to my blog site with contrary opinions, I fervently uphold their right to speak and to embrace opinions contrary to mine. I incorporate that as “You have the right to remain stupid”.

Several weeks ago, I got into a donnybrook with a friend about the white moisture that congeals in the atmosphere above 20,000 feet behind jet engines. Having served in the Air Force and witnessed condensation trails from extremely close up, I’m very familiar with the phenomenon. In addition, having been an Air Force brat from 1951 on until my induction in 1969, I saw it at Air Force Thunderbird demonstrations as well. It’s fairly easy to see the difference between air foil-induced condensation trails off the wings of an aircraft  and smoke or herbicides sprayed from aircraft. I watched a Pilatus Porter PC-6 make spraying passes with Agent Orange/Blue on Lima Sites to kill unwanted vegetation growing in the path of extremely short landing strips in 1970. Often it was impossible to reach these places to spray by hand. The product fell instantly and was not a white cloud. It looked mostly like rain in the distance and didn’t stay suspended in the air for more than a minute. Likewise, motor oil injected directly into the exhaust of an F-100 Super Sabre looked like a product of a fire. It occurred only at the low altitudes where the planes performed and dissipated in short order.

qantas_boeing_747-400_vh-oju_over_starbeyevo_kustovMostly, an argument that what we see as condensation contrails-as opposed to some nefarious plan to hose us (or kill us)  with mind controlling “chemtrails” fails for any number of reasons. To begin with, any chemical capable of this would have to be dumped in quantities that would preclude passenger travel in the aircraft involved in it. Aircraft have X amount of lift based on size, engine thrust, cargo and passenger weight at takeoff et cetera. C-123s used in Vietnam for Ranchhand spraying had no passenger seats. The entire aircraft was a series of tanks and compressors. If they were used to spray with meaningfully, they would need to be 3,000 feet above us- not 30,000. Spraying western Washington state at 30,000 feet will result in it landing in Ohio. Oddly, the only contrails we do see seem to occur directly behind the engines.  Spraying any product other than kerosene directly into a jet engine would cause it to flame out as well as changing the chemical composition of the ingredients to charcoal. Lastly, there is the matter of physics and moisture at altitude where it’s -23 Fahrenheit outside. Spraying at 30,000 feet would result in frozen chemicals falling in a condensed pattern on a small area-hardly what the Tin Hat Brigade maintains is the preferred application technique.

In order to quell my friend’s fears, I offered to split the cost and take him to the airport for a flight to witness the phenomenon personally. This would him allow a complete inspection of the aircraft to ascertain they had removed all spraying gear and chemicals before we took off. Seemed like a fair way to settle it, n’cest pas?  Part of a valid scientific observation is the ability for anyone to reproduce it over and over again. The response I received was that I was extremely ignorant and unschooled in science and politics. His scientific proof was to “look up”.

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Spoken recently “Most of my life, I’ve been a woman”

The similarity of ‘look up’ science seems to carry over into our quest for our next president. One school of thought is that we have to elect a candidate based entirely on her sex. We did that based on race the last time and all we have to show for it is “If you like your doctor, you get to keep your doctor.” Well, that and we get to keep about $7.4 trillion more in National Debt.

 

downloadAnother espouses ‘Make America Great Again’. Voting for either seems to be fraught with problems. He pulled the pony tails of the girl sitting in front of him in sixth grade? Well, hey. That shows blatant sexism and no respect for women…forever. Or whoa- that he engaged in locker room talk with another male in 2005- over eleven years ago. If folks were to go back to 1970 and witness me, I’m sure the takeaway would be that I was a serial killer and enjoyed frying gooks with napalm every chance I got. I did back then but that’s beside the point. Seasons change and so did I. A valid snapshot of a person must capture every facet and be current.

LS MFT

Our republican contender is many things but I suspect what comes out of his mouth is often the overload product from his ass. By the same token, what you do in life follows you. Last year, I became embroiled in a controversy about a certain Veterans Charity and how I felt they contributed very little (perhaps as paltry an amount as 50% or less) of their donations and paid themselves handsomely with the leftover largesse. Viewing the candidates, I note the progressive side began their own charity too and only manages to drop 5% or so on target- consuming the remaining 95% on “overhead”. Seems old Scott Pelley from CBS would have a field day with that the same way they’re examining the opposition’s tax returns and Trump University.

The bottom line is that no one is perfect in this business of life. America, as a nation, has always risen above this fracas and remained neutral… until now. No one can deny that the sitting President just advocated that illegal aliens here with no credentials are free to vote without fear of recrimination. In fact, he is flying hither and yon on Air Force One at $25,000 per hour to stump for a fellow candidate. Any and all security breeches by that one candidate were not intentional and using a private server was/is permissible because prior Secretaries of State did it. In a word, no one is ever guilty now because intent to harm America was not proved- yet America is being harmed irrevocably. Every new revelation of wrongdoing is countenanced by the opposing faction having already trespassed in the same arena.

I know something you don't know

I know something you don’t know

Until now, anyone who received questions to an exam prior to the testing day, was considered a cheater. That got a few folks kicked out of the Air Force Academy a few years ago. Witness the uproar over the SAT testing as well.We now have the same member of a party running for office who surreptitiously passed a Town Hall CNN question on to her contender/boss who used it to develop an answer in advance. Where is the umbrage? This is akin to plagiarism. Had this occurred  with a conservative candidate, they would have disqualified themselves in advance and unmasked the party responsible. This behavior speaks volumes about the character of someone running for high office. Anyone willing to cheat to win is unworthy of the position. Period. Anyone caught in the act should retire from the field promptly. I have yet to hear a mea culpa from the candidate.

I cast no stones in either glass house. Both are guilty of greed, narcissism, avarice, self-promotion and innumerable other sins that more than disqualify them. How we arrived here is immaterial. It bespeaks a harbinger of where America is headed. Greece and Rome are no longer world powers for similar reasons. When we find ourselves overwhelmed in refugees and cannot take care of our Veterans, we’re in deep doodoo. When we have our citizens in record numbers partaking of food stamps and paying them $1100 a month in SSI yet subsidizing incoming legal (as well as illegal) immigrants to the tune of $1,700 a month ( also with food stamps), we have reached the zenith of stupidity.

Sometimes, making America great involves husbanding our generosity. Sometimes, the realization of reality requires more than just “looking up” to understand that reality. Sometimes, if we’re being inundated in folks coming here for the free room and board, it requires tightening up the entry rules or locking the front door. If something is broken, you don’t leave it ‘as is’ and propose to study it for another ten years. Making America great is a job that requires all walks of life to contribute equally- and with clear, concise ideas. We’ve drowned ourselves in gun laws since President Kennedy’s assassination in 1963 and one look at 2016 Chicago reveals we failed. We do not enforce the laws on the books. Making it harder to get guns accomplishes little yet that is the proffered solution. Make the semiautomaatics with three-round clips? So they can only kill three people instead of 13? I guess the next suggestion would be producing six-shooters with only one chamber in the cylinder. Great for Russian Roulette. A kinder, gentler gun?

America is great right now only because more people care about it than are oblivious to the problem. On the day 50.01 percent of our population fails to give a shit, we are going to be on the road to oblivion. We’re fiddling and watching this bonfire gradually consume the most democratic free country on the planet. Is it anathema to point this eventuality out? Am I racist, sexist, pro 2nd Amendment or pro-life for illuminating the obvious. Am I inherently evil for being politically incorrect and telling the truth? Should I shut up, sit down and convince everyone to look up?

Veterans Day is fast approaching. I prefer to be one of the 21 million Veterans still vertical who love their country more than themselves. I don’t need a special day of recognition, a parade or six attaboys. I sure don’t need some chucklehead slapping me on the back and exclaiming “Welcome Home” forty four years late. Hold the yellow ribbons. Give me back sanity. Give me a world where we all view Flat Earth Society members for what they are- kooks-not as scientists with an alternative geographical theory entitled to recognition. Homeless Veterans are not “financially challenged.” They are deprived of a job mostly by their prior employment. There isn’t much demand for a SAW gunner at the Regional Office (or is there?).  If VA is such a large organization, job preference for all positions -not just those of VAMC janitors- must be viable career paths. We like to mouth the words “You have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.” Many Afstan Vets are waiting for that conversation to commence. My generation of Vietnam Vets got laryngitis trying.

As I always try to remain politically neutral here at LZ Grambo, I advocate sanity-nothing more. It is said 70% of Veterans vote. I cannot presume to speak for how they will vote tomorrow but keeping my Country great is uppermost in my mind. Whomever succeeds in accomplishing that daunting task is not for any one person to decide. Let’s just hope the amalgam of all Americans makes the correct decision tomorrow. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Happy Veterans Day to all of my brothers and sisters.

Capture

 

 

Posted in Future Veterans, HOMELESS VETERANS, KP Veterans, Veterans Day, Women Vets | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

History of hepatitis? Long-term sustained virologic response (SVR) but…

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Donor Deferral for Men Who Have Had Sex With Men (MSM) have been liberalized even though anal sex is a risk factor for HIV, HCV, and HBV.

still not eligible to donate blood…because why?  Research suggests that relapse is very rare so why does the American Red Cross  (link) reject potential blood donors who have ever had HCV?  

They write (updated: 08/03/2016):

Hepatitis caused by Hepatitis B virus and Hepatitis C virus can be easily transmitted from donors to patients through transfusion. It is possible for a donor to carry a hepatitis virus even though he has never been sick with an inflamed liver, and he feels entirely well at the time of donation.

Hepatitis B and hepatitis C are transmitted between people through sexual contact and blood-to-blood contact, such as occurs when needles are shared during IV drug use. Hepatitis viruses can also be transmitted from mothers to their unborn babies. However, many people who have hepatitis virus infection cannot determine how they became infected…

…All blood donations are tested for hepatitis B and hepatitis C with several different tests. But because these tests are not perfect, it is still important for people who may be infected with hepatitis viruses to not donate blood. In some cases, all that is required is a waiting period after some particular event, such as an exposure to a patient with hepatitis, to be sure the person was not infected. In other cases, the likelihood of hepatitis is high enough that the person is not eligible to donate regardless of how much time has gone by.

AND

If you had hepatitis…caused by a virus, or unexplained jaundice, since age 11, you are not eligible to donate blood.

But not only that, they say that you are essentially exposed if you LIVE with, OR have sexual contact,with a person who has hepatitis, “you must wait 12 months after the last contact..”

What gives?  A partner, spouse , child or roommate, has to MOVE OUT of the shared living space for 12 months, prior to donating blood.  Harsh policy since we told that sexual contract among monogamous couples is extremely rare.  (And what types of sexual contact are they alluding to?  Does a kiss count?)

A few weeks ago I pricked my finger on my old Marine’s used blood glucose lancet tip.  It screenshot-2016-11-04-at-12-31-59-am sharpshurt. My careless error because I didn’t buy a sharps bin when he recently started testing.

He’s been SVR since late 2004.  By American Red Cross rules, I have been exposed (blood-to-blood) to HCV in the same way an accidental needle stick in a health care setting can occur even though a lot of  “time has gone by.”

Should I get re-tested for HCV again post-stick? I was tested in 2004 and again in 2015, when Medicare made the screening free for all boomers. Again, I was safe.  Will my doctor recommend another test due to this incident when I see her next?  If she doesn’t, should I insist?

I’ve read about the reactivation of HCV after certain drugs have been prescribed (Link) and (link).  I’ve been told about occult HCV.

SVR–You’re fine;  SVR–no, you’re still dangerous to others.  What does the science really say.  How “not perfect” are the tests?

Posted in Blood info, Food for thought, Guest authors, HCV Epidemiology, HCV Health, HCV Risks (documented), hepatitis, Medical News, research, transfusions and hepatitis, Uncategorized, Vietnam Disease Issues | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

HOW TO ACE ANY VA COMPENSATION & PENSION EXAM

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Buckwheat 1963 Sixth Grade

People come to me and ask all manner of questions about VA things. I get a bang out of Vets who  ask if they should dress “up” instead of wearing their usual attire. Well, there’s always an answer to any good VA question that might turn a few heads so I’ll give you a few pointers. These are my favorites I’ve encountered over my twenty seven years playing poker with VA. Mind you, these ploys aren’t anything I’ve done. Can’t say I hadn’t thought about a few but I have a fertile mind that rarely bears fruit. Used to be I was always the kid who got caught shooting spitwads in study hall. Yeppers. That was me back in the back.

 The Weight Loss Problem Solved

Some VA claims need to show a weight loss of 10% of the gross weight you began with over a year. So, you weigh in at 200 on January 1, 2000. When you come back in March, you suddenly weigh 160 Lbs. Bingo! You advance to a higher rating (maybe). Here’s 38 CFR 4.112:

§ 4.112 Weight loss.

For purposes of evaluating conditions in § 4.114, the term “substantial weight loss” means a loss of greater than 20 percent of the individual’s baseline weight, sustained for three months or longer; and the term “minor weight loss” means a weight loss of 10 to 20 percent of the individual’s baseline weight, sustained for three months or longer. The term “inability to gain weight” means that there has been substantial weight loss with inability to regain it despite appropriate therapy. “Baseline weight” means the average weight for the two-year-period preceding onset of the disease.

So the way to do this is to eat a 10 lb cheesecake and pound lead wheel weights flat into shapes that fit into your old rubber boots and your pants pockets.  They’ll make you take off a jacket if it’s too bulky. You show up and weigh in at 200 when you really weigh about 170. In March, sans wheel weights, you suddenly have “lost” 30 lbs – or about a 15% loss. If you have hepatitis C, this is a dramatic drop and indicative of nausea and emesis, anorexia and failure to thrive. If you throw in a bit of dieting, you can really appear emaciated.

Jaundice and Maybelline eye shadow

downloadSpeaking of liver dysfunction, if you really want to roll down the gastro doc’s socks, put a small drop of FD &C #3 yellow food dye in each eye for the Sclera Ictera from hell. They’ll run a bilirubin test on you and be scratching their heads when it comes up normal. The Maybelline eye shadow just gives you that ghoulish look . You can also accomplish this by staying up for 40 hrs before the C&P.

Hearing Tests

Obviously, the only way to get any bang for your buck is to have an indoor shooting range or a place where you can safely discharge a handgun just prior to departing for the hearing C&P. But not just any handgun. You’ll need to use a supersonic round such as a 9 mm, .41 cal., .357 or .44 magnum. The reason is elementary. They’re hypersonic. Absent any hearing protection, you’re good to go for 40% after about six rounds. Most (but not all) of your hearing will come back in the following weeks. After preparing for about five hearing tests this way, you’ll begin to notice a high pitched ringing that never goes away. That’s called tinnitus and it’s nothing to worry about. It’s good for another 10% on top of any hearing loss. Just make sure you tell them its near-constant and strikingly loud. We don’t think of this as cheating. You can remember back when you were firing those 155s for effect on Firebase Bronco at 0200 in ’68 where your ears felt exactly the same for a few years. All you’re doing is approximating the same or similar conditions to make the tests more authentic. And don’t bother the technician with these details. They’re too busy doing the tests and calibrating their machines. You don’t want to distract them and run the chance of coming up with flawed data. Mum’s the word here. Trust me. FYI … Be sure you leave a window or door open when using an indoor range. Detonation of a supersonic round in an enclosed setting usually results in a broken window

PTSD Tips and Tricks

Much has been said on this topic. My advice is simple. You begin preparing for this test the moment you get a C&P date mailed to you. Immediately don a pair of clean sweatpants and underwear. Jesus boots or other sandals showing your bare feet are de rigeur. This will be your sleeping and waking ensemble until the exam. No bathing is suggested to more closely approximate your two week deployments on LLRP back in Qui Nhon in ’67. If the aroma becomes too heady, Right Guard is okay if used very sparingly. Let your whiskers  and beard go free range. If you have an imperfect beard that has patches, this looks dynamite. If your hair isn’t greasy enough come Exam day, smear some butter in it and reach up and scratch it occasionally and mumble something sotto voce  like  ‘f—kin’ bugs’.

It is important at the beginning of the exam to move your chair as closely as possible to a corner. If there’s a window behind you, frequently jerk your head around and look back for a few seconds. When you return your gaze to the doctor, make sure he’s aware  that you definitely saw something.  Nod your head over your shoulder and say ” See what I mean?” Never smile. Never laugh. Wiggle your toes and feet a lot. Begin sentences and trail off without completing them. About every ten minutes, slam you fist down on your thigh a few times. Let lemon  juice dry on your fingers and hands a half hour before you go in. Don’t touch your face. About five minutes into the show, rub your eyes a bit. Hum Eric Clapton’s Cream hit  If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all. You want this dude to just know that you’ve been down since you began to crawl. Empathy is the name of the exam game.

Never be afraid to improvise but always practice it before you attempt it. If you’re having lunch at the Shoney’s Big Boy afterwards and left your Canadian crutches back in your car, it’s going to mega screw you up if the C&P examiner is sitting a few tables away observing you quite by accident. I don’t recommend dining anywhere within a five-mile radius of a VAMC after a C&P nor leaving any props out of reach until you’re safely back home.

So there you have it in a nutshell. You get the general idea. I certainly don’t need to teach all you Walmarket® “Slip on the Floor Club” members. Hornswoggling the VA is a science and requires a keen mind and an agile wit. They probably read these blogs so you have to know someday the old wheel weight game is going to get busted. Think outside the box. I hear LSD and Disco Biscuits (MDMA) are excellent prequels for Schizoaffective  Disorder C&Ps and they don’t show up in the urine screen. And for Heaven’s sake, don’t go in there reeking of booze or pot. That will throw cold water on the whole thing. Wait until after you get your rating and then add one or both in as an Axis 2 addiction secondary to the PTSD or MDD. The idea is Think the disability, See the disability-Be the Disability. Own the disability. And last but not least, Build and Increase the Disability. Study, study, study.

C&Ps- Be all you can be, Sailor

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P.S. Gee, I didn’t think I’d have to add this but there are always officious “Karens” who show up and think I’m serious. The answer is no. This is not a serious article. Does it endorse cheating? No, it does not.  It’s my demented humor and love of life that produces it. Well, that and all those stories you all send in to me. The yellow FD&C #3 backfired on the Vet because he didn’t dilute it. His eyes were almost orange from what I heard. Had they been that dark, his AST/ALT would be in the 2600 range. Busted. The guy with the wheel weights pulled it off from what I hear. One thing is guaranteed. If you cheat, your chances of getting SC for anything are nil. It’ll follow you around like a felony conviction. To my knowledge I’ve only been fooled by one Vet who was a drug addict. He won HCV based on tattoos when he probably contracted it from shooting up heroin. Ever since, I’ve been very careful to vet the Vet. Just for the record, and for Abby, Jennifer and Mr. Tetrault, Esq. (see below), this is pure, unadulterated humor meant to entertain-not inform or condone fraud. As an Officer of the Court, I am not allowed to condone or encourage this behavior. 

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