Naw. Steve wasn’t from Bugtussle. He was from Pennsylvania for what it’s worth. What’s important is he raised his right hand and signed on for 4 years as a Squid. Now why anyone would voluntarily submit to a vow of sexual abstinence for untold months at a time almost rivals those who insist they’d much prefer to march there rather than fly. As for Marines, we haven’t figured out what makes them tick yet. No, life in the Air Force is much more civilized and orderly. We know what an ice cube is. But let’s talk about the USS Enterprise- the real one, not the NCC 1701.

This was a late submission that missed Halloween.

The Steverino signed up in ’68 and did some time after AIT in the USS Constellation (CVN- 64). From his STRs, it looks like he made the jump  over to the Enterprise about late 1970. I gotta hand it to the guys with gill slits. They do a credible job in their sick bays. They have actual rubber stamps that  say “CV 65” on them so this is pretty credible evidence. A Village idiot on a bad day could figure this out.

Nevertheless, after President Trump signed off on the Procopio Blue Water Expansion Act in June 2019, the VA was forced to begin identifying the new inductees into the Nehmer Club. That began in January of 2020. Steve immediately signed up. And this is where it gets shitty. Steve has really bad problems- cardio, Parkie’s, some radiation stuff causing loss of leg above the knee, cataracts and bad surgery to the point of legal blindness. You get the picture.

All the VSOs’ horses and all the VSOs’ men couldn’t put the Stevemeister on the Connie within twelve miles. He paid his dues and made the rounds. DAV, AmLeg, VFW and WWP all said no sweat and they all came up with a dry hole using his DD 214. Steve’s ship assignments weren’t on his 214 but they sure as shit were on his STRs. But nobody looked. Nobody sent in a 3101 to get everything from the NPRC.  He was a virgin. He’d never filed  for anything but a VR&E gig in 1972 with Cleveland Institute of Electronics to learn how to fix TVs. Steve’s mind is not what it could be, either. Nobody knew he had dementia… yet.

Steve had that old 8-digit VA claims file number starting with a 29 so it threw everyone off. They pulled up his archived files from the Records Management Center (VBA STL376) but there wasn’t anything on him. Now, if they’d filed an actual 526 provoking the duty to assist, this might have had a completely different ending before now. Instead of a fishing expedition to find out if he was a Nehmer candidate before filing him for herbicide, they blew it. Every last one of them. They told Steve to hit the road. He was never going to be recognized. The Constellation was last inside the 12-mile limit in 1966 and never again until June of 1972-six months after he separated.

For Steve’s purposes, lets concentrate on what the Enterprise was doing in 1971. If Steve was really on her, there was only one Bingo date for his Procopio moment – November 25, 1971. That’s the only listed date in 1971 that shows definitively that she was within the magic 12-mile limit. I use Hill and Ponton’s interactive map. It’s probably the most reliable. https://www.hillandponton.com/blue-water-navy-vietnam-map/

When I did my initial intake with Steve in person, he’d initially said the Constellation but after comparing the 214, even I could see the futility. So, knowing about the recent diagnosis of Lewy Body dementia, I played devil’s advocate and asked if maybe-just maybe, he disremembered and had the Connie confused with the Enterprise. He said “No, I served on the Connie but that was directly after AIT up in Great Lakes, Illinois. I transferred to the Enterprise in early 1971 and we sailed to Viet Nam in June 71. We were running combat flight operations up at Yankee Station until I left in early January and came home to separate. I told those folks to look up the Enterprise but no one would listen. Check my 214. I have the VSM and the VCM.” He does but ever since the old days of Haas v. Peake in ’08,  ‘I-was-there’ medals didn’t prove shit.

I could see he doesn’t have a lot of a gas left in the tank so I shotgunned a 526 to cover the major stuff at the same time I took the POA. When the STRs and the military personnel folder showed up in October, the Wizards of the 12-mile limit came up with a dry hole again. I had to file one of those Hansel and Gretel 4138s to lead them to the STR’s where Steve the Squidster reported to Sick Bay with a cold, sore throat and a fever of  99.5° F…. wait for it… on October 15, 1971. Even better, another entry in his inoculation record showed he got a cholera booster and flu vaccine on January 5, 1972… aboard the USS Enterprise. But the search parameters said Enterprise, not CV 65.

Steve joined the Nehmer Club officially on Wednesday morning last, the 11th, and has his first c&p exam on 12/23 as a recognized herbicide exposure Vet after almost five years of false starts. And if even one of those chowderhead VSO outfits had filed him back then and he’d been denied, we could still have gotten him that earlier effective date under §3.816(c).

Sometimes you just have to piss on the fire and call in the dogs. Is anyone going to put you in jail for filings claims and later finding out the Vet didn’t meet the parameters? Hell no. I don’t suggest cheating but I trust my Vets. If they say they deployed to RVN, I’d believe them and try to help immediately. I dang sure wouldn’t hold back and try to find out if he did before I filed him. I’ve had mixed success in these cases but fortunately this was a cake walk.

Merry Christmas to you all. It’s been one hell of a year for Veterans. That dang PACT Act is a nothing burger for 99% of you out there and it held such promise when it was first advertized. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised after earlier promises like PCAFC and Procopio… and how the AMA was going move so fast you’d have your rating in less than a fortnight.