Jim Nabors had a way with those words that keeps coming back again and again. Member Dan writes me with the disturbing news that vA is sniffing around his 17 year old rating and measuring him for a Texas necktie party. What is all the more tragic  is the gomer who got him into this fix. Remember dear old Mr. Hamer? Steven W. Hamer? How many Steven W. Hamers who worked as a VSO can there be? Damn few.

Capt. Dan  (Lt. Dan was another guy unrelated to this story) writes “Gee. Do you suppose  that Steve turkey is the same S.W. Hamer (DAV rep) who hung me out to dry back in the early nineties down at 810 Vermin Ave. NW? I almost wrecked my keyboard blowing coffee through my nose. Dan was describing exactly what my dear old DAV SO Ronald D. Ampe did to me outside the Hearing Room at the Seattle R.O. on July 11th, 1990.  Both conversations started out like this:

“Hi there. Hamer. Steve Hamer. You’re ah… let’s see, wait, I’ve got it here………….. Capt. Dan. Right. Sorry. I haven’t had a chance to look at the C-file. I was just assigned to you this morning and I’m not up to speed. How about a five minute mini-synopsis of this so I have some ammo before we go in. It’s opening day for the dove hun-ah Bob had a death in the family down in North Carolina and had to hustle down there suddenly so I got the call. You understand, right? So what’s the skinny?”

Once inside the hearing room, both conversations sounded like ” I feel this would be the most fruitful for the vA and the veteran deserves a rapid conclusion….. We want what’s best for the vA and…… The vA has been very considerate and we don’t want to disturb that relationship…. ” Well, gee. Good thing you brought plenty of rope to hang me with Mr. Hamer/Ampe. The vA sure didn’t arrive with enough. A remand granted him 100% from 1987 when his commission ended. vA is now returning and eyeing that. The claim was adjudicated in 1995 which means although he’s in the 25 year ballpark on effective date, he’s not home-free in vA’s mind. They view it as only 17 years old and thus fair game.

Back to 95 and Dan. Hang him they did. They stuck some bogus attachment about mental disorders in there even though his injuries were physical with a progressive (and aggressive) disease process. Now, seventeen years later they are innocuously asking to review all this mental mishmash and to sort it out anew a la 3.105(e) also known as “Oops. We screwed up in 95, Cap’n Dan. So sorry. Good thing we caught it before 20 years was up or else you would have been scott free. We’ll be nice and not ask for all the shekels back but henceforth, your 100% gig is null and void. Or… you could file a new claim and we’ll take a look at it in 2015 and give it the 125-day treatment.

Hamer wasn’t very good as a  DAV VSO service officer for Capt. Dan and he didn’t fair very well doing SO for himself. It’s a small claims world. The Hamers and Ampes , by virtue of of their utter lack of legal credentials, will forever be remembered-unfavorably, I might add.. I’m sure this is not the last we’ve heard of the Continuing Adventures of Bungle a lot Steve.