I was sent a private message from one of our illustrious  English”VFW”s abroad in Britain (name withheld to protect contributor Rory and Post 9 of the Falmouth Welsh Guard Vets). Apparently some of the recent returnees of the Afghan “Stripes 4 Wounds” Olympics in Helmand Province were pub surfing and heard several “plus-size women” as Rory so politely put it, discoursing in  a heavy accent. Being a decent chap and having had a few, Rory politely asked “Pardon but are you ladies from Ireland?”

One politely chirped ” It’s Wales, you friggin’ idiot.”

Rory, never to be put off by a momentary awkwardness, looked down, collected himself and said “Right. Sorry, mum. Are you two whales from Ireland?”

Rory’s nose will heal without any visible scars. The left eye will probably never track in unison with the right, somewhat like Marty Feldman’s, but his vision will be unimpaired for the most part.

TY4YS Rory.