I was barbecuing tonight and the funniest thing happened. Part of the crow clan who have been wrecking my corn starts showed up to continue the party. Dumb. Very Dumb. I have a Small Arms Expert Marksmanship ribbon and an incredible aim. I sashayed back inside and grabbed the trusty Mannlicher .22 w/ 4X scope. Heckle and Jeckle  were so absorbed in their mischief that they didn’t even see me reappear with the shiny black stick.

Most crows I have had truck with are incredibly savvy where rifles or shotguns are concerned. If you so much as pick one up, they’re gone in a flash. I shot at them twice in the last several days but they were in the tops of swaying trees nearly 100 yards or more away. This evening it was like shooting fish in a barrel. They were less than 40 yards distant and totally engrossed in excavating corn to the exclusion of all else.  Heckle (or Jeckle?) is now proudly standing guard over the cornfield as my new scarecrow. I hope he doesn’t dry up and blow away before September. As Winston Churchill once said of the Coast Watchers, “They serve also who only stand and wait.”

The last time I did this, I didn’t see any crows in the garden environs for 2 years. Of course they weren’t bothering the corn then. They had been pulling up my sugar snap peas that trip. I’m convinced this new behaviour is Bush’s fault. He’s the one responsible for global warming from what I hear on talk radio. The crows’ diets have changed . Notably, they weren’t eating broccoli so that pretty much narrows it down.   He’s to blame for nearly everything else so it only stands to reason.

I also hope you all didn’t think this was going to be some racist tirade.

As a postscript, I just awoke . It’s 0540 hrs Sunday and what sounds like an obituary for Jeckle involving nearly every crow in western Washington is in progress. I grabbed the .22 and went to the back door. as soon as I opened it, 60 + crows departed to the 4 points of the compass. Bad news travels fast. I anticipate a good year for corn, God willing.