Boy, this didn’t take long. When Patty barks, everyone lines up and wags their tales down at the Five-sided Puzzle Palace. Sure enough Johnny Judge is on the warpath and looking in every hospital and clinic in search of baaaaad Shrinks. At least the Head Honchos are admitting there was some hanky panky. Sen. Sneakers couldn’t even get that much out of them last week.
Army Secretary Johnboy McHugh told the 535 Anointed down at Constitution Ave. NE that his military Sherlocks are busy trying to determine whether this was a common practice or merely “isolated to that little fort up in Washington state.”
Sen. Sneakers had this to say (warning! run-on sentence ahead- watch for dangling verbs):
“Not only is it damaging for our soldiers,
but it really furthers the stigma for others
that are – whether they’re deciding to seek
The senator didn’t clarify which day “today” referred to.
As most know, depending on what day it is, and who is speaking, we can ascertain that it appears there were a few misdiagnosed here at “the little fort next to I-5”. I’m hearing what appears to be an admission of 290 guys they’re actually admitting that had their diagnoses reversed for the worse out of 1690 soldiers. Yet we hear it’s 40% of the 1680 screened or 690 men and women who were “converted”. All these numbers. I swear its like asking a woman how much weight she lost on her diet. You’ll never get an actual number to write down. I notice that if it’s 2000 hrs on Friday night, the numbers are far worse thant they are on Wednesday morning at the Constitution Ave. Home for the Truth-challenged.
I wonder whose speech writer penned this winner:
“The Surgeon General (Lt. Gen. Patty Horoho) has asked the IG to go and examine all the similar facilities… To this point, we don’t see any evidence of this being systemic. But… we want to make sure that where this was inappropriate, it was an isolated case, and if it were not, to make sure we address it as holistically as we’re trying to address it at Madigan”.
Huh? Go and examine all the similar facilities? Holistically?
ho·lis·tic adj. hō-ˈlis-tik
1: of or relating to holism
2 : relating to or concerned with wholes or with complete systems rather than with the analysis of, treatment of, or dissection into parts <holistic medicine attempts to treat both the mind and the body> <holistic ecology views humans and the environment as a single system>
— ho·lis·ti·cal·ly adverb
That’s probably the first time Johnboy has used the word. I commend him for his concern for the troops. The best news the IG ever heard is that he gets to go on a fact-finding mission and travel all over the U.S. Better yet, he won’t get dinged any leave time for it and it’s free room and board. If he can get his wife on a MATS flight Space A, he’ll really be in high cotton.
This will resonate with troops everywhere:
Army officials insist that soldiers sent to war are (or may be) checked up to five times:
1) before deployment
3) one time after their return
4) six months later
5) a year later
I’d love to hear from all you active military who see this just how many times you recall this happening. My guess is 5 trips to the brain zoo began 3 weeks ago.
Army officials also insist troops returning from O/S complete a Post-Deployment Health Assessment and a by God, face to face with a bent-brain specialist. Those who set off the mental detector are sent to the Group W bench and sit with the likes of the Arlo Guthrie and his ilk. Oddly, the disclaimer is in small letters at the end- ” There is no test diagnostically definitive for mental illness in general and PTSD in particular.”
Perhaps that explains all the errors in identifying all these guys trying to commit suicide. Tell me again? How much are we paying these shrink guys to read chicken entrails?