A LEGEND IN HER OWN MIND

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April 2012—Congressman Filner, you have my word that we’ll have this backlog under control by 2015. We now have the tools and the finances to implement the Secretary’s directives.

 

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July 2013—Congressman Miller, The new VBMS, which converts files over to electronic format, is on schedule to be implemented at the rest of the Regional Offices as planned. Thanks to VA’s new Six Sigma and Kaizen training, we have everything well in hand.

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September 2013—Congressman Miller, We have now completed the VBMS installation in all 56 Regional Offices and the backlog is decreasing much faster than any of us imagined. Fortunately, my background at Accenture was of immense help in overcoming innumerable obstacles.  I am proud to report that we are “all systems go, sir”.

longestDecember, 2013—Congressman Miller, fortunately for our disabled Veterans, we are gradually dispensing with the backlog and see some daylight at the end of the tunnel. It appears we will have eliminated the backlog completely before January 2015- well ahead of our earlier projections. Veterans should expect an easy up or down decision within 125 days soon and the accuracy is expected to be a breathtaking 98%. The VA has been able to attain these stupendous figures by working overtime and sending some claims to other, less utilized Regional Offices in Alaska, South Dakota and Montana. Unfortunately, in order to motivate the raters, we had to re- institute the bonuses temporarily but that is a short term setback. May I have some Kleenex, please?

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GWI-BAD PAPER= NO BENNIES

downloadWe’ve probably discussed the effects of bad paper or the Big Chicken Dinner on VA benefits so I just wanted to publish this sent in by Frank. While SPN codes are no longer the anathema they were in the 60s-80s, having a less than honorable discharge is still the hole in the bottom of your boat you’ll never plug. Even if you can manage to pry one out of your military branch, VA does not consider it a viable one equal to compensable benefits or medical care. For VA, your injury during a bad piece of paper, even if you had a prior enlistment with good time, is still an impediment to service connection. That is the barrier that no one can breach. It was enacted by Congress to reward those who stayed the course. For those of us who found it impossible to follow the rules, there is no repair order. BCD, Undesirable- whatever the designation, if it isn’t “under honorable conditions” it’s no dice.

P.S. Here’s recent precedence from the Court that reaffirms this concept of “clemency discharge upgrades”.

RobertsonTW_11-3521

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2 SQUIDS IN A LIFEBOAT

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Bob and Bubba

Shortly after an Al Quaeda wrecking crew sank their destroyer near the Straits of Hormuz, two gentlemen of the Naval persuasion were floating in their lifeboat awaiting rescue. Bob, from Georgia( and an avowed optimist), found what appeared to be an old fashioned, tarnished brass oil lamp in the survival locker. He vigorously rubbed it and to his amazement, a genie promptly appeared in a cloud of smoke.

Before the two sailors could even say Jack Robinson, he looked at them and said “Hey, you guys are sailors. I only give out one wish to sailors since I got stiffed by that Sinbad joker. What’ll it be?”

Bob, without a second thought,  immediately blurted out, “Turn the entire ocean into beer.”

downloadThe genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the sea turned into beer. Just as quickly as he had appeared, the genie departed along with his lamp.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men stared out and considered their circumstances. Bob’s shipmate Bubba, from South Carolina,  looked disgustedly at the ocean and then back at Bob whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment Bubba said in  a low, measured tone of voice:

 ” Smooth move, Exlax…Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

Bob and Bubba shortly after their rescue

Bob and Bubba shortly after their rescue

 

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PUNKIN CHUNKIN’ AT THE NOD RANCH

DSC00617Always wondering why I have pumpkins growing all over the pasture in spring. Seems the animals redistribute the seeds. Like Grampa said- “Them fellers are your bread and butter for fertilizer. Always prime the pump and you’ll get your due.” Check out the graphics on this Sony cam. It’s got a gazillion pixels per cm. click on them and you can count the seeds.

Head fertilizer production technician

Head fertilizer production technician

Posted in Food for the soul, Humor | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE MAILBOX

No rank, no insigniaOn May 15th, 1972,  after two years of banging around the Indochinese Peninsula, I DEROS’d back to the United States of America. DEROS, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, stands for Date Of Return from Over Seas. When I returned, I was missing some paint and had a few rust spots. The USAF, now in its  post war starch-and-shiny-boots mode, didn’t cotton to a Buck Sargent (E-4) strolling in from 30 days leave still sporting camo fatigues and jungle boots in the continental lower 48.

Being horribly naive, I figured they’d give me a  week or so to buy some conventional fatigues that fit and get the legal nomenclature back on my feet. Those beautiful shiny black boots from basic rotted in less than 180 days at Udorn without even being worn. Hell, jungle boots with the green canvas sidewalls lasted an average of 120 days when they were underwater all the time. Sorry, no dice Sgt. Nod.

My new first shirt had served under my dad in 5th AF in Japan and had a stiffy for me. I was always on the wrong side of the fence for every imaginable offense. Putting a water bed in the barracks ( on slab on grade) did not win me any medals for innovation. My back was in an uproar and the military mattresses were no help. I finally discovered that the Air Force and I were not long for a mutually compatible relationship. What happened next took me by surprise.

N199X crash sceneSenior Master Sargent Robert  “Jack” Frost found me out of compliance with the haircut regulations of AFM 35-10 one morning and ordered me out for a tune up. Simultaneously, I went to sick call for my ongoing back injury from an unscheduled landing in a forest a year earlier. The long and the short of it was I came back to the barracks to grab a pack of Marbs and ran into Jack Frost.  Having failed to comply with the haircut order, I was given an Article 15 and lost a stripe shortly thereafter. Shit happens.

And yes, shortly after that, the Air Force decided I was not re-enlistment material and decided to divest themselves of me post haste. This they accomplished lickety spit. In the process, I got a DD 214 which was woefully short of complete.  See my post >>  https://asknod.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/erroneous-dd214/

This would not have been so hard to stomach except for the fact that they annotated absolutely none of my history in Southeast Asia. My 214 stated I received the National Defense Service Medal-period. Knowing I was entitled to much more was not paramount to my existence in 1973. You cannot eat medals so I sucked it up and moved on.

When I reached a breather in my travails with the VA, I noticed that they continually refused or ignored my requests to be granted §1154 (b) combat recognition whereby everything that fell from my lips was Gospel absent any talk of alien abduction. This provoked a quest for my medals. Unfortunately, some of the fellows who  I flew with  and who were witness to my GSW and/or subsequent medical intervention at a small USAID hospital at Lima Site 20 (Sam Thong) had the misfortune to run into aerial misadventures of their own and subsequently become room temperature. I wish to remember them here as I doubt anyone will ever give them their due for their services over the fence:

AirAm Capt (PIC) Benjamin A.  Franklin – pilot of PC-6 Tail # XW-PCB on 21 March 1971 near Lima Site -72 Tha Tam Bleung ( encountered some tall real estate on final to the drop zone)

AirAm PIC Harry E. Mullholland -pilot of PC-6 Tail # N180K on 29 April 1971 near Lima Site 63  (mid-air collision with  U-17A   approximately 1 klic north of  Muong Nam) .

Lt. (Capt. posthumous) Chuck Engle , Raven 26, augured in 22 Feb. 1971 south of 20 Alternate en route to Lima-08 Wattay (Vientiane).

PIC stands for Pilot in charge.

So after 40 years and almost ten months, the United States Air Force has acknowledged that:

1) I was “never in combat” but they nevertheless have decided to award me a Outstanding Unit Medal with 3 Combat Vs for Valor.

2) I was never in Vietnam but I was awarded the Republic of South Vietnam’s Vietnam Campaign Medal with 60-device and the Cross of Gallantry with Palm for service there.

3) I was awarded the Vietnam Service Medal with Silver star for five air campaigns in spite of having no record of even being in  the air.

4) I was awarded the  Small Arms Expert Marksmanship Ribbon in spite of no proof of having qualified for it. It could have been the zipperhead I tagged with  my .357 from 600′ ASL at Lima 108 Muong Soui  one morning during Operation Leapfrog in August 1970 because all the pilots talked about it for months. That was pure luck.

3) They were not going to upgrade my General Discharge to Honorable.

 Well, dang. I’ll just hush my mouth  and not complain. I tried for the other medals but apparently I “wasn’t there” to earn them. I’m still not sure how this works but I’ll get back to you when I figure it out. Seems it’s a lot like filing claims with the VA. If it isn’t in your records then it didn’t happen. The Air Force has issued me a new DD 215 that reflects the changes but continues to deny my presence anywhere in Vietnam or Laos. Go figure. It must have been a fig newton of my imagination all this time. I hate that when that happens. It seems I disremember it.new medal rack

Posted in ASKNOD BOOK, Vietnam War history | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

VETERANS FACE PAGE

1469877_10152072684254769_2093748816_nNeed I say more?

Posted in All about Veterans, FACE HUMOR | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

VA ROLLS OUT NEW FDD PROGRAM

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Hickey arranging her hair before
FDD roll out announcement

 Today,VA Under Secretary for Undeserved Benefits Allison “In Wonderland” Hickey announced a new, exciting concept in VA claims intended to “wipe out the backlog as we know it”. Called the Fully Developed Denial, the expedited process will allow Veterans to advance through the complicated claims process much faster. Veterans Service Organizations representatives from all the major groups welcomed her proposal with loud applause. Hickey also suggested this may be the panacea to VA’s salvation and the continued preservation of their good name.

Said Hickey: “The Department is committed to eliminating the backlog as promised by 2015. Towards that end, we are rolling out yet another initiative to ensure this will happen. Starting in January of 2014, we will be proud to introduce the Fully Developed Denial. The beauty of this is that Veterans will be able to “opt out” of the Regional Offices entirely and proceed directly to appeal. Much like it’s big brother, the Fully Developed Claim, or FDC as we call it, the FDD permits the Veteran to sign away all his legal rights to an adjudication at the local level and proceed directly to appeal in Washington at the Board of Veterans Appeals.  Obviously,  it will permit a much more speedy deniah-decision by a Veterans Law Judge instead of a long, protracted delay at his or her local office. Each Veteran who signs up will be legally entitled to, and indeed, can expect to receive a rapid resolution to their claims- often in less than three years.”

VA officials assured us that the benefit of the doubt will be paramount in these cases and Veterans “will be getting everything that is coming to them” according to one anonymous VA source who begged not to be named.

GeicoCaveman1VA insists the long and the short of this is so elementary that even a cave man can do it. Veterans will fill out a simple twenty six-page VA form wherein they admit their claims have no merit. Concurrently, they will file their NOD citing why they feel the denial is appropriate and any mitigating excuses as to why they think they are entitled to the benefit sought. Specially trained Acting Veterans Law Judges with limited experience will then carefully examine the contentions and issue an appropriate decision based strictly on the standard whim of the moment. In order to prevent a backlog from accruing at the Court of Veterans Appeals, FDD claimants will agree in advance to sign a waiver of appeal to the higher tribunal.

Hickey was positively ebullient about the prospects for “cleaning house” as she described it after she thought the microphone was dead. She insisted later that the comment about “brain-dead Vets” and the “PTSD-109” crowd were taken entirely out of context. “We respect Veterans at the DVA regardless of what Congressman Miller says. Our mission is to deliver benefits to those who have earned them. Just because 85% fail to demonstrate an entitlement doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. We remain committed to identifying them and remunerating them to the full extent warranted whenever possible. Towards that end, we feel the FDD will give them a larger voice much sooner. After all, this is what Veterans Service Organizations continue to stress as their main bone of contention -the interminable wait. The FDD addresses this concern sooner rather than later.”

download (1)To learn more about this new program and how you can sign up, go to uluz.va.gov and click on VA’s New Initiatives. Alternatively, you can contact the Prize Redemption Center at VA’s toll free number (800-827-1000) and talk directly to a trained FDD Navigator. Participation in the program will be voluntary and strictly limited to the first fifty million callers. The FDD will soon be available for e-filing on eBenefits as well. Bon chance, fellow Vets!

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VA PAY RAISE PLUS THE ¢

images (1)For the first time in history, VA will not claw back any sub-dollar amount in a compensation payment. The actual raise tied to the cost of living increase, as of January 1, 2014, will include the sub-dollar change that is due. Thus a 100% disabled Vet with a wife and no rug rats will see an actual monetary increase from the current $2924.00/mo. to $3,017.60/mo. That’s a whopping $7.20 more per year than you were expecting and I hope you all don’t intend to squander it all in one big blowout lollapalooza of frenzied Christmas spending, hear? $7.20 saved is $7.20 earned even if it’s only 2¢ a day. See the VA Comp link above or click here to view

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THE ROBERTS REDUX

downloadThe Veterans Administration is one of the largest agencies of the US government. As such, they consume the lion’s share of the finances in their administration of benefits and medical services to Veterans. At last count, I believe the annual budget was $140 billion and still climbing. They’re asking for $154 billion next year. One would suspect this comprehends the influx of severely disabled Veterans coming home from their recent travails in Southwest Asia. Nothing could be further from the truth. What rathole the funds are disappearing into certainly doesn’t encompass increasing numbers of totally disabled Veterans.

Oddly, the numbers of 100% disabled Veterans remain static. In any interpretive model, statistically, there should be “lumps” in the funding python that roughly correspond with our proclivity to wage war. Witness the first two World War conflagrations, a smaller Korean lump and finally the unmistakably pregnancy after the Vietnam Boundary Dispute. We now see a corresponding rise in fatalities and, of even more concern, a huge rise in injuries where our servicemen/women incur massive insult to body and mind and miraculously survive. In each successive conflict larger numbers survive due to the improvements of medicine. Invariably, they are living to a ripe old age in spite of their infirmities. Most are indisputably100% or more disabled and no one would argue that.

In each of these scenarios, by rights, the actual numbers of the totally disabled should cause a corresponding bulge in 100% compensations from VA. I joined with another fellow Vet to investigate actual numbers and was startled to find a static model that has not varied more than a few percentage points over five decades. That means the large numbers of Veterans who survived the meat grinder in Vietnam could not have been accorded the proper ratings for their disabilities unless, or until, some from a prior war expired and made room for them. In fact, many died before attaining what was rightfully due them. Even today, Veterans are dying at a shocking rate of 53 a day while waiting to join this exclusive club. If someone has a better explanation, I am open to conjecture. However, I categorically reject VA’s “gecko” theory that some grow new arms and legs and thus have their ratings reduced due to manifest improvement. In VA medical parlance, this is called Immaculate Regeneration and has no scientific explanation. Nevertheless, the phenomenon is extremely prevalent among disabled Veterans.

On November 7th, I posted this vignette on my site concerning VA’s inflated idea of their claims accuracy– /https://asknod.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/va-claims-65-70-claims-grant-rate/. After further investigation, I asked an accountant to look at the figures and extrapolate backwards with VA data I acquired going back several decades. The numbers were inexplicably flat-both from a total number of individuals and by percentage of ratings awarded. In layman’s terms there were virtually no more (or less) a number of Veterans rated 100% in the late seventies than there are now. Similarly, all the other percentages exhibited the same dichotomy. It defies logic.

What is glaringly obvious is something that isn’t discussed in polite Veterans Service Organization (VSOs) circles. Having dealt with these folks since my first claim in 1989, I was struck by the fear the service officers had of vindictive raters. I finally won my tinnitus claim at the Board of Veterans Appeals and was awarded 0%. Instead of fighting for the higher, deserved rating of 10%, my Disabled American Vets representative admonished me not to be greedy. It was politely suggested that we come back in a few years and beg for what I was due then. Each succeeding NSO voiced the same concerns-“We don’t want to piss them off or they could take everything you’ve won so far.” Which brings us full circle to the Roberts Redux.

Keith Roberts was a squid stationed in Italy at a Naval Air Station in the late sixties. He watched an aircraft nose gear collapse and squish a buddy he’d gone through AIT with. When he attempted to extricate Gary with a forklift, he was ordered to stand down for fear of damaging the aircraft. Apparently aircraft mechanics have less intrinsic worth than aircraft. This and another event created some bent brain issues and Keith dutifully filed for them after his discharge. As we all know, 85% of these claims are denied. Keith’s claim was no exception. PTSD, as a disease, had not been invented yet either. Nevertheless, Keith persevered and finally prevailed many years later in 1998. He then set forth to retrieve his earlier effective date for his disabilities. He met with marginal success and eventually succeeded in obtaining an effective date in 1992. Still unhappy with this, he was in the process of pursuing an earlier date when he and his American Legion service officer noted what appeared to be an anomaly in his claims file-to wit- missing records they knew they had filed. I suppose we could categorize this as the precursor to 2007’s VA famous Shreddergate where whole files evaporated into Immaculate Nothingness.

Keith promptly fired off a complaint to the VA’s Office of the Inspector General, which has the authority to investigate these things in-house. What he did provoked the ire I spoke of above. Screw the missing documents. The OIG turned around and illegally began an investigation of Keith. They had absolutely no authority to investigate claims fraud and never have. It is the provenance of VA’s Office of General Counsel in the first instance and the FBI who were never brought in initially. When the OIG tried to inveigle the Feds, they refused to investigate due to the obvious blatant violation of due process.  In a protracted fit of anger, the OIG, acting unilaterally, went so far as to contact numerous sailors and ask them their recollections of the 1969 event. Most had vague memories but none that would contradict the essence of Keith’s recital of events. VA, in the course of this illegal investigation, maintained Keith wasn’t even on duty that day. This doesn’t comport with all those accident investigation pictures of Keith in uniform in the hanger during the aftermath. In fact, VA cherry-picked individual testimonies from several individuals who “couldn’t remember” Keith being there and excluded all others’ testimony that might have been exculpatory. If that wasn’t enough to roll your socks down, they then refused to give him the file on the accident investigation to rebut the accusations.

From there, the OIG turned to the US District Court and proceeded to tar, feather, convict and incarcerate Keith for four years. This can only be seen as a deterrent to like-minded Veterans who are disenchanted with the brand of justice we are accorded at the good ol’ boy VA club down at 810 Vermin Ave. NW. The Adage above their door should be “Be happy we give you anything-and don’t complain”.

If the story ended there, it might not have risen to the level of public consciousness. It didn’t. Again, boldly going where no other Federal Agency had dared go before, with no legal authority, the nonadversarial VA attempted to recoup funds that were awarded to his daughters for education benefits. They even went on a protracted witch hunt to uncover any and all assets they could and confiscate them like the ham-handed IRS. All this without a shred of legal authority, mind you.

VAOIGThe juggernaut suddenly lost steam when someone with an ounce of legal acumen paused and pointed out this was a Bozo No-No in all fifty states. VA quietly folded up the Roberts tent and tiptoed out the door. Unfortunately, the email didn’t make it to Milwaukee. Keith’s law dog, Robert P. Walsh, had been assembling a huge file and researching who had what authority to order what for years as he carefully planned a comeback. And like Santa, he was keeping a list of who had been naughty and who had been nice. The OIG left a messy trail of e-evidence all the way up to the Director Of Compensation and Pension Services- one Renee Szybala- and others in VA’s hierarchy had compounded it with interest in their blind haste to make an example of greedy, fraudulent Vets like Keith. That made the problem far worse.  Ms. Szybala is an attorney and precluded from shenanigans of this magnitude. As an Officer of the Court, it is her duty to report unlawful actions. She didn’t and colluded with the others to disenfranchise him.  Keith had documented mental health issues independent of those he was accused of fabricating and VA freely admitted it. These service medical records clearly showed an entitlement as early as 1972 when he first filed. His local VARO had ignored all this documented evidence in their pell mell rush to saddle him up for his Texas necktie party in the preceding decades.  In a final bitchslap, the VA Regional Office in Milwaukee, Keith’s nemesis all these years, refused a remand from the Court of Veterans Appeals to reinstitute his legitimate awards. His claim is now before the Board of Appeals again in an effort to get them to right that wrong. But like an ADHD- addled adult, the VA just cannot bring themselves to admit perfidy. A good analogy would be an unreconstructed Nazi who absolutely refuses to accept the concept that eradication of the Jews was an inherently bad thing.

The party is now drawing to a close. Last week Thomas Bandzul, legislative counsel for Veterans and Military Families for Progress, played “brief fairy” and dropped copies of Mr. Walsh’s well-reasoned cease-fire order all over DC like the Sandman. Acid indigestion was probably the order of the day as VA weenies tried to comprehend just how deep the doo-doo was on their front porch. The 110-page briefing to the Board of Veterans Appeals carefully explains in DickandJanespeak what VA can and cannot do legally. It points out that more laws have been broken that there are stars in the sky. It examines the propriety of fencing out the FBI and using the OIG as a de facto jackbooted Gestapo in the pursuit of fraud. Hell, it points out so many errors as to make the Keystone Cops look like a credible deterrent to crime.

In the coming months the VA is going to be called to task and explain, hopefully to Congressman Miller and his cohorts, just how this travesty of justice came to pass.  As with most VA faery tales I suspect the OGC will lead off with their patented “Once upon a time, before the inception of the VJRA…” The other timeworn “We’ve always done it wrong this way” will probably be trotted out with the follow-on “But we promise we’ll never, eeeever do it again”.

Having recently emerged from nineteen and half years in the desert myself, I fully anticipate VA will attempt to apply their predictably perverse form of justice to my remuneration. How they will chose to apologize to Keith for his illegal four-year incarceration and illegitimate divestiture of everything he, his wife, children and their relatives owned will require some fancy, polysyllabic dancing but VA is renowned for their semantic two-step. Mea culpas of this magnitude are rare in today’s government and usually occur at the end of the news cycle on a Friday night when all the drive-by media are at Happy Hour. I doubt they will be accorded a pass on “If you like your rating, you can keep your rating. Period”

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Roberts tar baby

VA Secretary Shinseki inherited this tar baby from Tony Principi but that in no way lets him off the hook. As the head honcho, Keith Roberts’ buck stops at his desk. VA’s gung ho middle management is responsible for this pathetic display of gratitude for one of our Sons of War. Keith may not have served in a theatre of war but he did serve honorably in a time of war with the full expectation that he could have just as easily ended up at Cam Ranh Bay. Somewhere in the         far-distant past, VA misplaced their mission objective statement. “For he who shall have borne the Battle, his widow and his orphan child” has been given a  twenty first century update and the codicil “and if he bitches, take it away” has been inserted (assuming it wasn’t there all along). Saying he was railroaded is far too mild a pejorative. He was drawn and quartered and a scarlet letter was affixed to his shirt. It was an ill-constructed admonition to other Veterans of what they could expect if they, too, became greedy. Justice may yet still be served but I suspect the perpetrators of this heinous crime will all take their pensions and fade away quietly as they all do before any serious repercussions ensue. Of course, they’ll get a hefty bonus for all that arduous work of making an example of Keith. And, like the unreconstructed Nazi, their plaint will be “If we’d only had more time we could have made our case to the Courts.”

Posted in BvA Decisions, CAVC ruling, Inspirational Veterans, VAOIG Watchdogs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

THE NEW (OLD) SOLDIER

image002 New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35. 

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on killing the bastards.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and constantly pissed off.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys… We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and  never saw a single 20-foot wall with a rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after killing some bastard.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down the enemy. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50… in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes??? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!

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