Veteran Fred arrived for his scheduled appointment with the Yellow Team.

After the B/P, temperature check, depression check, and weigh-in, he returned to the waiting room and thumbed through old magazines. As usual, thirty minutes after his scheduled appointment, he was called in.

Nurse Perez inquired as to the problem and Veteran Fred allowed as it might be better were he to see a male nurse.

Nurse Prez said “Relax. I’m a professional. I do this all the time. There’s nothing I haven’t seen in twenty years of this.”

Fred was still recalcitrant about this and demanded “Promise you won’t laugh?” She reassured him she was a professional and nothing of the sort would ensue.

Vet Fred dropped trou and revealed the smallest appendage she’d ever seen. It’s length and width were akin to a AAA battery. Nurse Perez, in spite of her prior promise, allowed a small giggle to escape her lips. Like a fire in a dry, parched field, it expanded into a deep, rolling laughter. After a few moments she sheepishly regained her composure.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never done that before. I apologize profusely. That wasn’t very professional. I don’t know what came over me. Now, what can I do for you this morning?”

Veteran Fred looked down woefully, looked up, then met her gaze and replied “It’s horribly swollen, nurse”.

Nurse Perez stoically nodded, got up and rapidly exited the room. As she passed the receptionist out front, Perez instructed her to send the doctor in to see Veteran Fred. The receptionist was visibly alarmed when she noticed blood pouring down the nurse’s lip.  She inquired whether the good nurse needed medical assistance or if Fred had struck her.

Shaking her head in the negative, Nurse Perez mumbled stoically “Down to Urgent Care to get stitches in my tongue. I’ll be back shortly.”