FROM THE GARDEN

I discovered something for you guys that will give you a reprieve from the endless squash and carrots all summer. There was a time when I was proud as a peacock when I brought in the watermelon-sized zuchinni. Cupcake told me to pick them earlier so I didn’t need a hand truck to bring them in. Being a fast learner, I started getting them when they were merely half the length of a baseball bat and still manageable.

After two months of yellow summer and zukes, I was hauling them to the food bank. This worked for several weeks but the griping had begun. By the fourth week, they made my vehicle and had the license plate memorized. I think they had some guy on point with binoculars and a Prick because they were closed after that-even at 0900. I resorted to leaving them on their front porch until the cops cited me for littering.

The same goes for carrots in spades. So, what to do. I figured it out. Impress Cupcake with your knowledge of all things French including les petite vegetables. Tell her to check this out. Next, start picking those hummers when they’re little. Tell her they taste better when they don’t have all those seeds in there, Explain the nutritional value of having all the goodies jam-packed into the early July petite versions. Explain how the carrots have a much more nuanced taste when picked early. The tag line I find that works best is if you point out they charge about 25 dollars at a really fine five star restaurant for a medley of these organically grown, pesticide-free petite versions.

It can backfire on you. Cupcake now wants to go to said fine French restaurant to see how much they actually do cost. We can’t afford it.

Now you are on your way to sanity. First, it takes three or four zuchinni or yellows to even make a meal for two instead of chewing on the same one for 3 days. Similarly with carrots, you can cut back to about twice a week because you’ll run out of carrots early doing this. The best part is the guys at the food bank will start talking to you again.