In an exciting development for homeless Vets, I discovered these in my travels at the recent jobs expo vA put on in Tacoma last week. Feast your eyes on this!

That’s right. Be the envy of your friends under the bridge with this ruggedly handsome luggage that will stand the test of time. Fits into any social circle and is timeless so it won’t go out of style. Notice the faux green snakeskin motif that is all the rage in Compton now. All these are equipped with the patented “ezi-grip” handles as seen on TV.

The smaller white tote is perfect for a carry on bag and fits comfortably above you on the bridge girder. The smallest white plastic bag is ideal for those gadabout neighborhood forays to the WINCO® trash dumpster for dinner and is washable and won’t stain-even with the most obstinate fruit stains.

How much would you expect to pay for all this? $2.00? $2.50? Well, as a special for Vets only, this is available for free. And if you order it now it will be sent to you in this durable, matching sea chest.

Imagine how impressed your friends will be when they see you roll up with the shopping cart sporting this ensemble. This and other exciting gifts from vA are yours for the asking View them all online at the library on the homelessvet@va.gov site. Click on the Chicago 60609 luggage line offer (from the Spiegle catalogue).

vA wants you to be stylin’ in the hood and what better way to show off your pride of ownership?  Yes, you’ll sleep better knowing if you get rousted that you have all your worldly possessions safely ensconced and ready to grab when you have to beat feet. You served your country and now its time you earned your reward.

You’ve done your stint at Being All You Can Be.  Now America and the vA want to salute you with this small token of their appreciation. If you have no permanent address, simply take a bus to the vARO and ask for the Homeless Coordinator. He or she will be happy to outfit you with these items and many, many more. Free claim forms for those pesky IED/PTSD problems  are available too. Mention the special “Hickeygram” promo code and get a free analog communications tool (ball point pen) absolutely free. vA wants you to live as independently as possible and this is right down your back alley.

P.S. Some of you may see this as being in poor taste but it sums up what I feel is the way vA treats us and the homeless Veterans. I apologize in advance if I have touched a raw nerve. For entertainment purposes only. Does not necessarily reflect the views of management. No dogs or cats were harmed in the shooting of this commercial. Edited for content to fit into the time slot.