On my second vacation to Hawaii in 1993, we went to Maui in June. The wind blows a lot there and really messes with your golf game. I hate that when that happens.

We stayed at the beautiful Kaanapali Alii condos on the beach. Because Buckwheat jr. was only 4 or 5, Cupcake was worried he might do a header off one of the balconies on the upper floors. Therefore we had to pay about twice as much for a ground floor condo. This definitely has its advantages.  Apparently its a  a gecko-rich environment for  little boys.  The downside was that Princess and her friend we brought along  were the subject of much attention by all the young men in the condo who arrived at the sliding glass door and walked in unannounced. We made rule changes the second day.

We met the defensive coordinator (retired) for the San Francisco 49ers and his wife one night at the outdoor barbecues. They were very pleasant and had the condo 3 floors above us. He also was sporting one of those huge Superbowl rings with a diamond about the size of a robin’s egg. Men don’t notice those things but women do.

We arrived on a Sunday from another condo we were slated to stay at. It had cockroaches and my wife wasn’t having any part of it. The Alii was far nicer and right in the middle of Hotel row-and about three times more expensive. It had the added benefit of being a stone’s throw from all the good restaurants so we didn’t have to drive drunk with the kids in tow. We could walk drunk. That’s a piece of cake.

Early Tuesday morning I heard the patter of rain on the bushes outside and prayed it would be nice by morning. For this kind of money, I theorized the least the weather could do was be amenable. As luck would have it Tuesday turned out to be  glorious.  As was Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Early Saturday I heard the telltale patter of rain again and Cupcake was absolutely crestfallen that we’d hit right in the middle of monsoon season. This didn’t compute with me because monsoon in Vietnam was August to January. Nevertheless, luck was on our side once again. Saturday day was blue skies and little clouds scudding across the heavens. That evening I remarked to Bill and Dottie that we sure were having good luck on the weather notwithstanding the two episodes of rain. They both looked at each other and then me and remarked that they hadn’t seen any but that maybe they slept through it.

All was well until the next Tuesday early. What were the odds of it raining again? Pretty good, apparently. At the barbecue that evening I remarked that we’d bested the rain Gods  again to looks of incredulity. I’m sure Bill must have thought I’d gone off the deep end at that stage. Come the last Saturday before departure, I heard the magic sound once again and felt compelled to go out and prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that what I was hearing was really happening. It was. It’s just that the sound I was hearing was from the sprinkler systems in the gardens. Duh. Fooled me. And as Roseanne Roseannadana used to say “It always goes to show its something”.