Have you ever been misunderstood? Well, perhaps something was lost in translation at the whorehouse in Cholon lo those 40 years ago but I am talking about now. Now, set aside VA’s propensity to “misconstrue” that which we claim so frequently, and focus, if you will, on this yahoo news blurb that Joe Vet sent over. I saw it on page 7 of the local paper this AM and was going to comment on it today, but the Yahoo piece is more nuanced and detailed on the particulars.

What got my anger up is the perfect aplomb  shown when caught in this lie. “Yep. Yessssiree, Bobbie. We get ’em in by ten and out by five just like the dry cleaners. Evaluation? Why, almost immediately. Always the same day we get the paperwork.” Now that the phrase is no longer operable (and never has been), an “evaluation” has metamorphosed into being entered into the “books” and scheduled for an inspection, detection and potential adaptablility to Prozac. But wait. That’s always been the definition. You and I knew that subconsciously but probably disremember it.

What’s a scream is nobody, not even Sgt. Peppermint  Patty, called them on this baldfaced fiction. If I read this, the focus of my consternation would be immediate and clearly articulated.

 However, the VA measures how long it took to conduct the evaluation, not how long a patient waited to receive an evaluation. For example, if a patient is referred on Sept. 15 and the evaluation is scheduled and takes place on Oct. 1, then the VA would show that the veteran waited zero days, when in reality the patient had waited 15.

I built houses for a living before all this started. If a customer had called up Tuesday morning and said “Okay, you’ve got the contract. Go ahead and start.”, I couldn’t very well call them back  Tuesday afternoon and say I was done and just had some “followup” work left to do. Suddenly parsing  a difference between “conduct an evaluation” and “receive an evaluation” is disingenuous. They both have that big transitive action verb in there that implies lots of busy little hammers and saws.  VA would rather throw in the “other rental car place’s  plaint “( Well, not exactly.)

If this were the first misunderstanding among friends over what was meant or implied, it wouldn’t look suspect. This is the 10th iteration of the same excuse for not treating Vets yet it gets a bye.  Nobody raised their hand and said “Excuse me, but no one else counts their Veterans before they’re hatched. Why do you do it this way? Better yet- when did you start counting them this way? About 10 minutes after you discovered you were busted?” Apparently that isn’t done in news conferences. It’s too judgemental and demeans the VA spokesperson into feeling small and personally insecure.

Ladies and Gentlemen Veterans, nothing will ever change unless this type of mindset is called out. Getting down in the dirt over a definition and  apologizing for the misunderstanding is just moonwalking to distract from the 50 day wait for a meaningful check up under the hood. Hello? McFly?

Oh yes. I almost forgot…the new “office of making sure the Vet gets his evaluation thingymajiggy”.

The VA said it concurred with the findings and has already begun taking steps to address the findings, including establishing a new office with oversight of the mental health program.