How to Fix America

I get so confused sometimes at what I am observing. I know its cognitive brain disorder. The doctor said it’s a side effect of Hep. C and will gradually increase. Driving back from a house I have been trying to sell before the bank just takes it away, I saw what I would consider an anomaly. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me or that I wasn’t getting the complete picture. When you get to be sixty with this disease,  you have to look twice a lot to figure it out- especially if they’re in their 20’s and attractive.

     On my port side as I drove by was a nice electronic gate freshly painted and obviously new. The gravel in the driveway wasn’t new and had a lot of weeds, but the gate would have looked good in front of a Hollywood mansion. I normally see an asphalt or concrete driveway where these are installed. As a builder, I have had these devices installed on custom homes and they generally run about $5-6K for the basic version and up to $10K+ for the custom gates with your monogram incorporated into the ironwork.

    But what should my wondering eyes behold beyond the gate? A tiny little old, 600 SF, flat-top, single-wide, manufactured home that was 10 years older than God. This was not what you’d call a “mobile” home anymore. Any attempt to move it would result in instant disintegration. The roof has a rich, green carpet of moss which is undoubtedly Mother Nature’s eco-friendly way of providing an organic, biodegradable insulation of about R-3. The front deck has a nice businesslike tilt to it to insure water runoff away from the structure.  The utilitarian pre-fab canvas car garage and a portable dog kennel in the front yard compliment the structure and give it warmth and that “lived in” look.  The pink water closet with the hydrangea growing out of it speaks of that je ne sais quoi? that only an artistic landscaper could explain.

     The cost of the electronic gate must have really cut into this family’s budget because the autos henceforth protected by this unit are well-traveled. The newest was a 90’s Nissan pick up and the other an 80’s Toyota Corolla with a clear visqueen plastic and duct taped, non-operable window in the right rear quadrant.  An older Dodge van being used as a PODS storage area was parked beside them and announces in no small way that these folks are innovative, resourceful and penny wise.

     Nevertheless, it’s clear that these people are crime conscious and have taken steps to protect their investment. I applaud them for their situational awareness. This is the kind of action that will lead this great nation out of poverty and back to its former grandeur. If enough of you fellow Americans would put your money where your common sense isn’t, and invest in unneeded infrastructure, we could turn this economic doldrum around in short order. It takes courage to boldly spend like this. If I still had a disposable income, I’m sure I would lead the charge. Unfortunately, I have already disposed of most all of it since I became disabled. That must be why the government calls it disposable. When you finally succeed in disposing of it all, you can go on Medicaid, Welfare and all the other alphabet agencies that take otherpeople’s disposable income and give it to you. This is also known as the Ponzi  government investment plan. It appears to be working so don’t listen to those bubbleheaded TEA party types. If our government runs short of money, they can always fire up the printing presses as they did in 2009 and print more.If gas goes to $10/ gallon, they’ll give us a COLA. Relax.  

     Now, on to the Martha Stewart corner and some healthy living tips.  Time to plant spinach and lettuce for fall.

     Corn season is upon us. When cooking corn on the cob, easy does it- only 3 minutes from a rolling boil, pilgrim. Any more just turns the sugar into starch. Don’t pick your corn until just before cooking. The moment the ear parts company from the stalk, the sugar starts converting into starch. Conversely, if you crave starch, pick it a week before eating and boil the piss out of it for half an hour. You will be overjoyed to find it’s just like eating a yellow, baked potato that tastes somewhat like corn.  

      Lastly, don’t feed the leftovers to the horses. I have discovered it goes right to their hips. It hurts when friends come over and say”Gee. How come your horse has such a fat ass?” It’s insensitive and makes the horses feel horribly insecure. It also shows poor breeding. I will leave it up to the gentle reader to determine who’s poor breeding I’m referring to.

     Next week? Beets-Dos and Don’ts and everything you ever wanted to know about bell peppers but were afraid to ask. And as an added bonus we’ll discuss how to lower your horse’s triglycerides and get those pesky LDLs down with a sensible 5 BX workout plan for them.

About asknod

VA claims blogger
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