This morning’s paper held this nugget. Allow me to do my Evelyn Wood speed reading trick and summarize this in a few short sentences from the pound of newsprint and ink. Apparently in a photo opportunity for Veterans, the Public Lands  Commissioner of Washington State  has started a program exclusively for Vets. In an amazing coincidence, this program was inaugurated just yesterday and incidentally happened to correspond with (taa-daa) Veterans Day!  Mr. Goldmark, who probably gets a six figure salary, has hired six (count them) young Vets to do landscaping along a river in Tacoma. He feels this is a “good fit” for Vets coming back from a war zone like Iraq or Afghanistan. It allows them to commune with nature,  enjoy a low stress environment, gives them solitude if needed and makes them feel empowered because they are working. Win-win situation, right?

Back up, Gilligan. Untie the ropes first. Ryan P. is a 27 year old who was a former E-4 who recently finished an 18 month tour in Iraq. As an E-4, Ryan was waking up every morning to $25, 531.00 a year tax free in a war zone (if they still consider Iraq to be one). He is now working for AmeriCorps for minimum wage. In the enlightened Utopia of Washington (state), the going rate is currently $8.67 which is higher than the federal minimum of $7.25. The $1.32/hour difference is the Grief Tax visited on private enterprise here to “level the playing field” for the poor man.This will yield our new landscape technician $69.36 a day for $346.80 a week. This translates out to $18,037.60 before Uncle Harry and Aunt Nancy take out a little for this and that. Oh, and let’s not forget the Social Security contribution which is mandatory. Ryan is going to be “income challenged” as they say for a while. In fact, if Ryan is married with children, his wife is going to need a job to help supplement this financial shortfall. The need for ensuing Day care will make more inroads in their income but will reduce unemployment by creating day care jobs. Once again, this is a win-win for everyone.

This new cadre of six intrepid Veterans “is fueled by a $150,00.00 grant from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.” While I have no objection to seeing my tax dollars used as a “create-a-job ” slush fund, I would like to see the monies spent on the actual Vets. Do the chuckleheads at the FWS think we can’t multiply $18,037.60 by 6 and come up with $108,225.60? So, are we to believe we are left with administrative costs of $41,774.40 to administer to six guys? As an E-4, I would think Ryan was a capable Corporal and squad leader. As squads consist of 10 men rather than six, it would seem we could up Ryan’s pay to his former $25,531.00 and save a bundle. Ryan gets pay commensurate with his abilities and only has to supervise five more. We could up the number to ten and save even more. The $41.7K  saved could go towards hiring 2 more Vets. Whoa, Pilgrim. Totally new concept. Saving money and hiring people. It would never work.

Photo Ops are expensive. I bet they cost more for overtime wages on Veterans Day:

“A motivated work force is going to be fundamentally important to the success of Puget Sound.” Goldmark said. 

The veterans joining Puget SoundCorps fit the bill, said Department of Veterans Affairs Director John Lee.“These are men and women who are dependable and know how to survive and work in the elements,” he said. “They don’t need a lot of training”.

In the months ahead, look for Puget SoundCorps crews to be assigned throughout the Puget Sound watershed, restoring wetlands, removing barriers in salmon-bearing streams, and eliminated (sic) bulkheads and creosote pilings from the shoreline., Ecology Director Ted Sturdevant said.

Well, I’m surprised that with no less than three talking heads they got away with only $41.7 K evaporating. One will notice that I computed these Veteran’s jobs as being a 52 week proposition based on a salaried wage. The article only mentions them being employed “in the months ahead.” Ruh-oh, Rorge! Gee. What is it, Astro?  More bad economic news for the Fantastic 6? Ruh-huh!

I won’t bore you with the details, but are any here old enough to remember the meltdown in 1974-80ish? Gas lines? Even-odd? Make-work jobs? Jimmy Carter wearing a sweater in the Casa Blanca and his Civilian Conservation Corps? The poor hired to insulate old hot water tanks and pipes and staple clear Visqueen over windows to conserve energy? Do I sense history being reinvented here or is it just my imagination? I foresee a whole new army of Vets coming soon bearing 6 foot ladders and armed with energy efficient, curly Q, mercury-filled  fluorescent light bulbs to a home near you soon. We are going to lick this problem even if we go bankrupt trying.  You can take that to the bank, assuming they haven’t all failed by then.

America cannot get back up on her feet with government jobs. Jobs that support the government are a product of private enterprise. Taking your tax dollars and hiring Vets is an admirable idea, but unsustainable. Taking your tax dollars, hiring Vets and then hiring 3 talking bobbleheads to explain that they’re landscaping for $130 K a pop is the problem. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians…