THE DARWINIAN THEORY OF GUNS


LZ Grahambo -2/12/2019

I love getting mail from all my in-country Vietnam friends. We are becoming a much smaller club much faster than I anticipated. Well, sort of. The club actually expanded exponentially last week with the inclusion of the Yankee and Dixie Station Squids. Be that as it may, I cherish every one of my 731 days on the red clay. Where else could we “be all we could be”? Imagine getting to play with real assault weapons,  Claymores, Semtex and a host of other really keen things and with no accountability? I don’t recall ever being told “Sorry dude. We have a strict limit of 3 hand grenades per soldier per day. Put that crate back in the Conex.” Of course, familiarizing yourself with the ordnance is a must, too. That’s a given.

Which brings us to this particular interesting snippet of Al Quada incompetence sent in by my good buddy Ed. Ed’s  an ex-LRRP from northern I Corps days whom I represent. As a former po-lice lieutenant, he always finds these choice vignettes. Some of the stuff he sends me is right out. For those of you with a keen eye, that’s a homemade Paki  PPSh 41.  You never, never never chamber a round and then insert the magazine on any PPSh while pointing it at your head (or a friend). Oh that Captain Charles had been this inept with his weapons in the jungles of Southeast Asia.

Mr. Piranha

The following video is not recommended for the faint of heart. Once upon a time, a progressive-type gal at a cocktail party in 1982 was apprised I had participated in the SEA Olympic Games and she came over to ask what it felt like to shoot at (and possibly kill) people. This was the second time this happened but I was still nonplussed. I had never really given much thought to that concept so I struggled for a metaphorical, ETOH-induced analogy she might easily grasp. The best I could dredge up on such short notice was ask if she had ever gone deer hunting-or, hell-hunting at all. Or even fishing for that matter. I then asked her to imagine an armed deer with 20/20 vision shooting at you in earnest. Or a determined piranha family intent on giving you a radical body-sculpting procedure. I still got the thousand yard stare as if I were demented. I completed my analogy with the observation : “It was a war thing, ma’m. You probably wouldn’t understand.” I’ll grant we did agree on that much.

I could have shut up at that point and now, with the benefit of my years, I should have. My decision to make another analogy about how, when you’re getting bitten by Mr. Mosquito, you unconsciously just reach over and terminate him was poorly received.  I think I blundered on about “You don’t much think about Mrs. Mosquito at home or how all his little mosquito kids are fatherless now. And it’s not like you have something against all mosquitoes in the whole f–king world or think Mr. Mosquito is racist.” I’m pretty sure I lost her at Mrs. Mosquito. Alcohol does that to you. The important thing is that I tried to reach out and share it with her. To this day, Cupcake continues to remind me that maybe I need to share fewer life experiences. I’d like to think I’m a work in progress.

Enjoy this if you were ever shot at or wounded. For some reason, it warms that  little Darwinian evolution-part of your heart. It’s an ego builder as well. Thank your lucky stars you aren’t as stupid as Akmehd to monkey around with a loaded SMG. Either that, or Ed ‘n me are really depraved, ex-junkie Nam crazies and have sick, severely demented senses of humor. Pity us.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

And the latest collection of FacePlace humor you have sent us:

About asknod

VA claims blogger
This entry was posted in All about Veterans, FACE HUMOR, Humor, Inspirational Veterans, KP Veterans and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to THE DARWINIAN THEORY OF GUNS

  1. Humorous, innovative and as always provocative: made my day thanks.
    Question Professor: What means an Order to Secretary at The CAVC by the Court;
    “Secretary’s motion for leave is held in abeyance”? Thanks much.

    • asknod says:

      Secretary’s motion for leave to (do what?). Obviously, the VASEC wishes to, or made a motion, to ask for a JMPR or JMR or restrict your filing objections to some motion or … There are thousands of possibilities too numerous to mention. That the CAVC Judge has held his request in abeyance says it is premature or unsupported by the EOR.

      • Thanks! The Secretary’s motion for ANOTHER: Stay, Vacation, temporary space-out or?
        Their latest 60 day vacation was to correct the date on their own Decision! Maybe the Court would like to move the Docket along? We are waiting for the supposed JMR, which was supposedly agreed upon numerous months ago. Court Clerk told me early last month that their Stay time was up albeit my own attorney believed that they could take them (Stay) repeatedly without penalty.My attorney would have filed his Brief albeit they may have disallowed that? It was returned to him “edited” by the Secretary’s people/attorney.
        90% of it was edited out, items that were fairly incriminating for the BVA/ their work or lack of same from the period after the 1st JMR…

        • asknod says:

          01/23/2019 Mot of Appellee for leave to file corrected Board decision (Monique Allen OGC 27)

          02/15/2019 ORDERED that the Secretary’s motion for leave [to file corrected BVA Decision date] is held in abeyance. It is further ORDERED that the Secretary, within 7 days after the date of this order, file and serve a copy of the Board’s decision. Proceedings in this appeal are stayed pending further order of the Court. (CMB) (CAM)
          Not good. The VASEC has a broken BVA decision. Looks like you may have to go back to the BVA and get a fix for your denial date and then come back to the CAVC. The Judge is not happy if he told Monique to shut up, sit down and take a time out. Now they are going to crack their law books to see if they even legitimately “own” this yet.

          • Very interesting thanks for the insight. My attorney suggested in his/the brief that has not yet been Filed (yet), that among other issues of great import, the C&P I’d been given in 2016 was neither appropriate nor “legal”. Further the BVA failed to review some fifty pieces or files of material medical and supportive evidence entered during the magical period during the 1st JMR, thus their (BVA) “decision” to which the Court referred to (exactly as in your example) is in error. Maybe they can bail out on the Order date by presenting another JMR?!

  2. Garry Brown says:

    Best video I saw all week… hope ISIS or Al Qaeda doesn’t start using it for a training video.

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